Haircut Jokes

A man has a sore throat and goes to the doctor... Doctor: "Your tonsils gotta come out."

Patient: "I want a second opinion!"

Doctor: "Okay, I don't like your haircut."

Not everyone can brag about getting a handjob from their barber after a haircut... But then again, not everyone cuts their own hair.

Where do sheep get their haircut? At the Bah-Bah-Shop

I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, got a haircut and wore nicer clothes, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I 'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

It takes a big man to accept when he is wrong It takes an even bigger man to give a giraffe a haircut

What's the most expensive haircut? Chemotherapy.

What Do You Call A Line Of Men Waiting For A Haircut? A Barbecue.

Christmas crackers are just full of laughs.

Which haircut would cost you the most? Chemotherapy

What does Bernie Sanders say when he gets a haircut? Remove only the top 1% please.

I just ran into my barber on the street. He asked me how I liked the haircut he gave me last week. I told him it's growing on me.

Very few people can brag about getting a handjob from their barber after a haircut nowadays. Then again, very few people cut their own hair.

I understand now why women have long hair If I had to pay as much for a haircut, I'd put it off too.

I got a haircut recently I didn't like it at first, but now it's growing on me.

I thought I hated my haircut But it's starting to grow on me.

Thought I saw the first ever super hero today, he was running down our street wearing a cape. Turns out he hadn't paid for his haircut.

At first I hated my new haircut Then it grew on me

What do you call the world's most expensive haircut? Chemotherapy

What did the left leg say to the right leg? Between me and you, we need a haircut.

(I got this from some UK magazine years ago)

"Love me do" was written by John Lennon... After he got a really nice haircut

I didn’t like my last haircut but it grew on me.

How does the moon get a haircut? Eclipse it

At first I hated my new haircut... but it's growing on me.

My wife gave me a haircut on the balcony outside today Cleanup was a breeze.

A man didn't like his haircut But it started to grow on him

Cristiano Ronaldo Went to the barbershop for a new haircut. He went home to his girlfriend and asked, "Well what do you think?". She took a couple of minutes looking his new hair cut over and replied "Well... at least it's not Messi".

I just saw a black guy running down the road with a Cape on I shouted, "Are you a Superhero?".

He said, "No, I haven't paid for my haircut!".

Where does a sheep go to get his haircut? The baa-aaa-rber shop.

What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.

I'm not sure about my new haircut... ...but it's growing on me.

Dad, I just got a haircut, what do you think? "Why didn't you get all of them cut?"

I got a haircut and they cut it way too short It started to grow on me though

What does the man on the moon do when he needs a haircut? Eclipse it.

How does the Moon get its haircut? Eclipse it!

"Hey, did you get a haircut?" "No, I got all of them cut."

After months of my dad asking if I am going to get a haircut, I tell him I'm keeping it. "Why?" He asks. "It grew on me."

Where does a sheep go for a haircut? Replied with " at the baaaaaa baaaa shop"

I went to get my haircut and told the barber not to take too much off. He only took off his trousers.

At first I didn't like my new haircut but it slowly grew on me.

I got a new haircut a few weeks ago I didn't like it at first, but it has since grow on me.