Healthcare Jokes

What's the similarity between free healthcare and good jokes? Americans don't get them.

What did the pirate say when he turned 80? "I'm lucky to have lived this long despite my dangerous line of work and the frankly displeasing state of healthcare in the 16th century"

I’m dressing as the Republican healthcare bill for Halloween. I won’t be leaving the house.


(Heard this on the podcast “Fake the Nation” and thought you all would like it.)

Hey did you hear about American healthcare? [removed]

Say what you will about Trump's Presidency, but you can't overlook what he has accomplished in terms of healthcare specifically life expectancy... He managed to turn one year into something that feels like an eternity.

If you can't afford healthcare... Go to an airport. They give free x-rays and mammograms, and if you mention al-Qaeda, they'll throw in a free colonoscopy too!

Charging $500 for a $5 case of water is considered price gouging. What is charging $500 for a $5 bag of saline called? Healthcare.

If the NSA built the website for healthcare... Americans would have been signed up before they knew it...

Why doesn't the United States have universal healthcare? Because paying for health insurance should give a sense of pride and accomplishment

Americans won't get this Healthcare

What do you call two healthcare professionals hanging out? A paramedics.

I call my toilet the oval office.. It's got a think tank, and a pipeline for delivering healthcare reform.

Someone told me recently that the healthcare.gov website was built by a Canadian company. I guess that explains why the site is constantly freezing.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. That's the best plan healthcare.gov could offer me.

For-profit healthcare is a great system that benefits patients and ensures higher quality care. lul

I keep trying to tell Americans a joke about universal healthcare But they just don’t get it

I'd tell you a joke about healthcare... ...but the Americans would struggle to get it.

The best American joke of all time Healthcare

Maybe Space Force is part of Trump’s plan to find... Universal healthcare.

I have a joke about the exceptional healthcare and medicine Trump took to recover from COVID. But, no one would get it.

U.S healthcare Bam

Donald Trump does not tell lies. He said everyone would be covered under his Healthcare plan.

He just forgot to mention that the poor would be covered by 6 feet of dirt.

I heard the employee healthcare plan for Apple is awful It only covers iDoctors

Do you wanna hear a joke? The American healthcare system.

My main job is as a male nanny, but I don't get healthcare when I'm sick, I get spa days It's because I need a Manicure!


^^^I ^^^^am ^^^^^actually ^^^^^^a ^^^^^^Nanny

America was not shut down properly. Would you like to restart America in safe mode, with free healthcare & without the guns? (Recommended)

What healthcare program is offered to the citizens of Pakistan? OsamaCare... It's the bomb.

Hear about the game of Life Millennial Edition? There are 27 different pegs for gender and only four squares: Debt, Rent, Destroy an Industry, and early Death from lack of healthcare.

I was going to tell a joke about affordable public healthcare... But Americans wouldn’t get it.

Donald Trump unveiled the name of his new healthcare plan today. It's called Don T. Care

Why do Canadians have free alphabet healthcare? Because of all their sore E's

Why did aliens vote for Bernie Sanders? Universal Healthcare

What do you call Trumps new healthcare plan? Yuge-genics

First there was Obama care, then there is Trump care Now can we get some healthcare?

Why have U.S. healthcare providers embargoed the entire team behind the "The Land Before Time" movie series? Because they don't cover pre-existing conditions.

If I had a dollar for every millennial that complained about how much we baby boomers took from them... ...I wouldn't need their money to pay for my retirement and healthcare.

Dark Humor is like Healthcare.... It's better if only some people get it."

If I had a dollar for every time the Trump Administration screwed up... I could afford healthcare without the ACA.

I asked my American friend if he had a moment to discuss his healthcare plan. "I can't afford to"