Heart Attack Jokes

A priest has a heart attack and is rushed to hospital When he wakes up, he is being raced through the corridors on a gurney. Disoriented, he asks, "am I in heaven?"

"No, replies the nurse. "We're just taking a shortcut through the children's ward."

It's a shame Carrie Fisher was on a United Airlines flight when she had her heart attack. If she was on another airline there might have been a doctor on board.

What is the worst time to have a heart attack? During a game of charades

A Man Has a Heart Attack on a Plane... Stewardess: Is **anybody** here a doctor?!

Man: (Raising Hand) I'm a vegan.

A woman has a heart attack in a plane. The stewardess asks "Is there a doctor on board?".

A person comes forward and announces "I'm a vegan."

"I think i'm having a heart attack. Quick! Dad, call me a doctor..." "You're a Doctor."

When is the worst time to have a heart attack? During a game of charades

What do you call a black guy having a heart attack? An ambulance.

A student had a heart attack when she saw the grade on her exam She passed.

Do you know cat owners are 50% less likely to suffer from a heart attack mainly because their hearts are already broken

I pushed a random old guy's Life Alert to see what would happen. He got so angry, he had a heart attack.
Good thing the ambulance was already on it's way.

Having a heart attack is pretty bad But even worse if you’re playing charades.

What happens when an American has a heart attack and survives? A 'murical.

A man was having a heart attack at a bar When a patron yelled out, "Does anyone know CPR", the place went silent, then a drunk at the back yelled out "I do... I even know the whole alphabet". Everybody laughed. Well except for this one guy.

Husband : Please Call An Ambulance I Think Am Having A Heart Attack... Wife : (Took His Mobile Phone) Quickly, Give Me The Password... Husband : Ooh I Think Am Fine Now...

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of Charades. And then all your friends feel bad, because they kept yelling "Stroke!"

I almost had a heart attack when I saw a black man carrying a TV like mine. Then I remembered mine was at home working in the garden.

A graphic designer has a heart attack I guess you could call it...


a stroke.

What does a pirate say when he's having a heart attack? "Arrrrrrrgh, me hearties!"

Did you know that fighting increases your risk of heart attack? Because it's assault.

Dual Heart Attack Message By A Girl. 1st Message: “Let’s Breakup Now, Its All Over”

2nd Message: “Sorry-Sorry, That Was Not For You“

What happens when a heart attacks someone? They get cardiac arrested.

What's the most likely kind of attack to happen while Donald Trump is President of the United States of America? A heart attack.

News: Man dies of heart attack while donating to a sperm bank He came and went at the same time

This phone conversation with the Haematology lab almost gave me a heart attack. Me: Hi, can you tell me what my blood report says?

Lab: Sure can, Sir.

What did the pirate say when he had a heart attack? Arrrghh ma hearty!

A man who is being apprehended by the police has a heart attack from shock... Police: you are under arrest

i went to jail for having a heart attack. i guess you could say it was a cardiac arrest.

What do you call a covert assasination mission carried out by North Korea in another country? A heart attack

What type of humor did the heart attack survivor like? Offbeat.

My husband just had a heart attack during climax He was nearly there - but then he was nearly gone.

An old woman suffers a heart attack on a United flight... Looking panicked, a flight attendant asks if there are any doctors on the aircraft.
One man stands up, 'Yes, do you need me to do something?'

'Yes, get off the aircraft please.'

My wife’s dad died of a heart attack...taking many secrets with him... You could say, he doesn’t have the heart to tell them.

Just dropped my phone earlier but I ain't shocked Can't get a heart attack if you sold your heart to buy an iPhone X

Billy Joel was hospitalized last week. He had a heart attack ack ack ack ack ack. You oughtta know by now.

Heart attacks! Are worth the weight

My grandfather died at Auschwitz. He had a heart attack and fell right out of the guard tower.

If I had to guess which of my friends might have a heart attack... ... I think Ralphie may.

This World Series game has me feeling super anxious. It's a heart attack on a plate.