Hilarious Homework Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Homework Jokes

My ADD always beats me when I’m trying to do my homework. The dyslexia doesn’t help either.

Score: 1738

Father: When Abe Lincoln was your age he walked 9 miles to school and did homework by candlelight. Son: When Lincoln was your age he was President.

Score: 1722

Why did the kid eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
-My 6 year old Nephew

Score: 1014

Me: I'm so sorry, my dog ate my homework Computer Science Professor: Your dog ate your coding assignment?

**Awkward silence**

Me: It took him a couple bytes

Score: 619

Score: 387

My mom said that if I don't get off the computer and do my homework she'll slam my head into the keyboard, but I think she's jokinfreoiwjr67uiwosi94ckcjfkdald87lakdofasdkfj

Score: 377

Teacher: "What can you get from a chicken?" Student: "Meat!"

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"

Student: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Student: "Homework!"

Score: 349

A student walks up to his teacher... -Student: "Miss, would you blame someone for something that they didn't do?"

-Teacher: "No of course not. I would never do that."

-Student: "Good, because I didn't do my homework."

Score: 258

how do you know asians have broken into your home? the dog is gone, the homework is done and they're still trying to get out of the driveway

Score: 188

The student and the teacher. JACK: "Would you punish me for something I didn't do?"
TEACHER:" Of course not. "
JACK: "Good, because I haven't done my homework ...."

Score: 169

Teacher :) Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Score: 156

Why are Asians so good at Math? Their dogs can't eat their homework.

Score: 118

What did the Mexican say when his homework flew out the window? Where you going essay!?

Score: 106

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?" Students: "Eggs!"

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"

Students: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Students: *"Homework!"*

Score: 94

Teacher Questions Student Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"

Student: "Meat!"

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"

Student: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Student: "Homework!"

Score: 86

What did the Mexican say when a gust of wind blew his homework out the window? Come back essay!

Score: 84

Russia's Three Steps to Homework Step 1. Putin it off

Step 2. Stalin

Step 3. Russian to finish

Score: 81

I failed my python breeding class because of a late assignment. My homework ate my dog.

Score: 73

"I'm gonna treat you like I treat my homework" "Oh, you're going to slam me on your desk and do me all night?"

"No, I'm going to stare at you and think there's so many better things I could be doing..."

Score: 64

A teacher is teaching. Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

(sorry for the TERRIBLE title)

Score: 61

One brave student... Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

Student: "Meat!"

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"

Student: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Student: "Homework!"

Score: 58

Do you know what animals give you? Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Eggs!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Score: 58

Teacher: did your father help you with your homework? Student: no he did it all by himself

Score: 54

What does the fat cow give you? Teacher: "Kids,what does the little chicken give you?"
Student: "Eggs!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the squealy pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Score: 48

Why did Johnny fail his programming class? His mom kept telling him to do his homework, "No ifs, ands, or buts!"

Score: 43

Don't you hate it when a teacher lies and says the homework will be a piece of cake? It always tastes like paper.

Score: 43

Teacher VS Student Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Score: 41

The teacher is asking a student a question. Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Score: 38

A teacher was quizzing Johnny on farm animals Teacher: "Johnny, what does the chicken give you?"

Johnny: "Meat!"

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"

Johnny: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Johnny: "Homework!"

Score: 36

A teacher asks her student Teacher: What does a Bee gives us?

Student: Honey

Teacher: What does a cow gives us?

Student: Milk

Teacher: What does a fat pig gives us?

Student: Homework

Score: 34

Funny Jokes!!! Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Score: 23

My Indian engineering teacher told us this today Growing up in America, you've probably heard your parents say, "Eat your food, there are starving children in India." But I tell my children, "Do your math homework or an Indian child will eat your food."

Score: 22

Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Score: 18

My mom told me if i didnt get off the computer and do my homework she would bang my head against the keyboard I think she mighfkgk57mo58ktzsrazxv78p

Score: 16

I told my dad that I was having trouble getting all my homework done... So he told me, "if you wait til the last minute, it'll only take a minute"

Score: 11

A student walks up to their teacher. Student: "Teacher, would you ever get mad at me for something I didn't do?"

Teacher: "Of course not! why?"

Student: "Because I didn't do my homework"

Score: 11

A kid hand in his homework and the teacher says, "You're presentation is misssing."

And the kid replies with,

"Oh I'm sorry. Ladies and gentlements, my HOMEWORK"

Score: 10

Barron Trump: "Dad, can you help me with my economics homework?" Donald: "no, son. It wouldn't be right."

Barron: "I know, but will you try it anyway?"

Score: 8

Little Johnny raises his hand in class… "Teacher!"

"Yes, Johnny."

"Would you ever punish me for something I didn't do?"

"Of course not!"

"Good! Because I *didn't* do my homework!"

Score: 8

Little Ahmed is doing his biology homework. He comes upon a question: "What separates the head from the body?"

Ahmed answers: "The axe"

Score: 8

New Homework Jokes

I can’t concentrate while watching my videos for homework I think it’s because of 80hd

Score: 0

After I broke my arm, my buddy wrote down all my missed homework assignments on my elbow cast. It really classed up the joint.

Score: 4

My dog just ate my coding homework It took him a couple bytes

Score: 1

What do you call a minimum 3 page assignment for homework given to you by your mexican teacher? Essay

Score: 2

My nephew was doing her history homework and asked me what I knew about Galileo? I said, "He was a poor boy, from a poor family."

Score: 1

Why am I getting a look of silent disbelief while telling my teacher that I am “asking for a friend?” It’s not a lie! That phrase will never be taken seriously again I guess... The dog ate his homework and he wanted an extra day to do it.

Score: 0

I asked my dad for help with my physics homework exactly once. I told him I didn't quite understand the concept of "W = fd"

He told me to get a job.

Score: 3

Little Johnny asks the teacher, "Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I haven't done?"

Mrs Roberts is shocked, "Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!"

Little Johnny is relieved, "OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I haven't done my homework."

Score: 7

For our art homework we had to do a painting and my teacher asked me where mine was. I said, "My dog ate it."

"But you don't have a dog..." said the girl next to me.

"You're right," I replied, "not any more."

Score: 4

Teacher - Student Student: should I get into trouble for something I didn't do?
Teacher: No
Student: Good, because I didn't do my homework.

Score: 1

Teacher: did you do your homework? Student: did you mark our tests?
Teacher: I've got other classes tests to mark.
Student: well I've got other classes homework to do.

Not sure if joke. Still found this to be enjoyable.

Score: 4

Pupil: My neighbour, Mr Chang, got run over and killed by a steam roller. Teacher: Johnny! That’s awful and has nothing to do with the homework I set you. Sit down immediately! Pupil: But Miss, you said we had to talk about crushed Asians.

Score: 7

In class... Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Score: 2

Teacher asks student Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Score: 5

Hey girl are you my math homework? Because I'm going to pretend I never knew you, but in reality my dog ate you.

Score: 1

A Korean kid walks into class with no homework. "Where is your homework, little Wu-Chan-Le?" asks the teacher.

"My dog ate it," he replied. "Then my dad ate the dog."

Score: 2

Why did the school kids eat their homework? Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake.

Score: 5

My Chemistry homework is asking me to rank the bonds by relative strength. Could Pierce Brosnan or Daniel Craig beat Sean Connery in a fight?

Score: 2

Are you my homework? Because you make me anxious and I won't try to do you until its far, far too late.

Score: 4

I'll do you like my math homework Slam you on the table, try to do you, but give up and pay someone to finish you

Score: 4

A teacher asks her first grade class about farm animals... Teacher: "What does a fat chicken give you?"

Class: "Chicken nuggets!!!"

Teacher: "What does a fat pig give you?"

Class:"Bacon and ham!!!"

Teacher: "What does a fat cow give you?"

Class:"Homework!!!"

Score: 2

What does a chicken give you? Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework

Score: 5

Q: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house? A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.

Score: 3

Teacher: Did your father help your with your homework? Student: No, he..... Teacher: Did your father help your with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.

Score: 2

Why did Obi-wan not do his math homework? Because only a Sith deals in absolutes.

Score: 4

Why did the kid eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Score: 1

Babe are you my homework? Because I'd slam you on my table and do you all night

Score: 4

"Hey teacher, will I get in trouble for something I didn't do?" "No of course not."

"Okay I didn't do my homework."

Score: 4

Why did the boy eat this homework? Because the teacher said, it was a piece of cake.

Score: 7

How did the deaf teacher give his deaf students their homework instructions? He assigned it

Score: 3

My dad said "Do your chemistry homework, okay?" Potassium

Score: 2

What do you call completed Algebra homework? The aftermath.

Score: 3

Punishment - joke A student is talking to his teacher.

Student: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?"
Teacher:" Of course not."
Student: "Good, because I haven't done my homework."

Score: 5

Teachers be like... Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Students: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Students: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Students: "Homework!"

Score: 4

A communist homework joke... Stop Putin it off man. You're Lennin it get to you. I know it's stressful but you really need the good Marx. You really are just Stalin the enevitable. Do it Mao!!

Score: 1