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Contents
How do you milk sheep? Bring out a new iPhone and charge $1000 for it.
My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans... I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids your age make in China!"
What do Donald Trump & the iPhone 7 have in common? They both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs.
My daughter want's the new iPhone for her birthday. I told her she will get one as long as she has good grades, does her chores, and follows the house rules. Otherwise she will get a cheaper phone, because. It's my way or the Huawei.
Scientists have discovered a way to milk sheep. Just release a new iphone every year.
How do you milk sheep? With iPhone accessories.
Guys I just recently bought a 256GB iPhone 7 Plus, my son dropped it and the screen shattered. Anyways I'm doing a giveaway! The kid is 8 years old, cute, thin and not really tall.
So the iPhone 7 gets arrested... He puts on his earpods and smugly declares "sorry, you can't charge me while I'm using my headphones".
My girlfriend is like an iPhone 7.
I wish I had an iPhone 7.
edit: wow really this is the best thing I've ever done huh whelp I guess it's okay to peak at 24.
Why did the Storm Trooper decide to buy an Iphone? Because he couldn't find the Droid he was looking for.
What do Donald Trump and the iPhone 7 have in common? They both think de-porting is the answer when there’s no more Jobs.
Apple woke up their lead designer in the middle of the night
To ask him about ideas for the new iPhone.
The disgruntled designer told them "Jack off".
The marketing department found the idea fantastic.
I accidentally clicked on a "You've won an iPhone"-popup. Luckliy it was only a virus.
What's the difference between an iPhone X and one ounce of gold? An ounce of gold will still be worth a grand next year.
Why can't a Samsung be disguised as an iPhone? Because eventually, its cover would be blown.
I just got the new iPhone for my wife All things considered a pretty good trade.
The next iPhone won't be a failure In fact, it'll be a huge 6S.
Hi, I'm black, and I can't stand it when people assume we're all criminals -Sent from your iPhone.
If apple released iphone 8 and 10 this year
Would it release nine eleven next year
Edit : my first 24 hours top 10 thanks all
You know Apple is run by men... when they call it an iPhone 6+ and it’s only 5.5 inches.
How do you blow up a Muslim's iPhone? Put it into airplane mode.
Since this year they launched the iPhone 8/X We'll probably get to see 9/11 next year
I asked my daughter for the news I asked my daughter to bring me the newspaper. she said I'm too old fashioned and brought me her iPhone. Not getting too much into details, the fly is now dead, the iPhone is broken and my daughter is crying
Just saw on the news that Apple is suing Samsung: They claim that the Galaxy S3 has copied concepts used on the iPhone 6.
I just gave a homeless guy 530 dollars and my new iPhone x He was so happy he even put his knife back in his pocket
Know how the iPhone 6+ was invented by men? Only men would call something that measures 5.5 inches, "six plus"
What does an iPhone 7 and The Titanic have in common? The end has no Jack.
The iPhone X removes the home button. Meaning you'll be homeless on several different levels.
I got a free iPad and iPhone today. It's like... this gun is magic!!!
My wife is so ugly... she walked past the walrus enclosure at Sea World, and her iPhone X unlocked itself.
I just purchased a new iPhone 7 Plus, and my son dropped it, So i’m giving it away. He’s 8 years old, tall and quite thin. Good with pets.
I really hate people who brag about their expensive stuff
Sent from my iPhone 7 Plus
EDIT : had to manage as my MacBook Pro ran out of battery
So I heard the new Iphone is gonna have that new Stephen King movie preloaded onto it. Yeah. X is gonna give IT to ya.
Tesla have announced they are going to build the worlds biggest battery.
Yet it still won't last a day on an iPhone
Edit: Thats first time I didn't see a single joke in comments. I guess battery issue is quite tricky
I just bought an iPhone X It still hurts where my kidney used to me.
Why did the storm trooper buy an iphone? He couldn't find the droid he was lookin' for.
It took guts to buy the new iPhone X Specifically, both my kidneys, my pancreas, and my large intestine.
What does Titanic and the iPhone X have in common? Jack is dead.
The iPhone 8/10 unveiling was pretty great But the 9/11 announcement will be pretty awkward and unforgettable next year
Anyone exciting about the iPhone 7? I do Because it will bring down the price of iPhone 6, which lead to iPhone 5's price to drop too. Finally, i'll have enough money to buy an iPhone 4
What does the smartphone say to the pipe?
iPhone, YouTube, WeChat.
(Sorry, is this taken?)
Communism works in theory. Real communism hasn't been tried out yet -sent from Iphone X
The new iPhone XS is great and all, but I want a bigger phone... I think I’ll just wait for the iPhone XL
What's the difference between iPhone X and an ounce of gold? An ounce of gold will still be worth $999 next year.
What’s black, 6.2 inches long, and every white girl wants one? The new iPhone X
People buying Apple products are so dumb. Sent from my iPhone.
A lot of people think that IPhone X price is too much, and no one will buy it. But over the last week people paid over $800 for a packet of sauce, so anything must be possible.
The iPhone 6 was the most sold iPhone ever. I guess you could call it a 6S.
There's a new $300 discount on the new iPhone X But instead of Apple it says Samsung on the back.
The Apple iPhone 8, Samsung Galaxy S8, Snapchat Spectacles, and the Amazon Echo Show all came out in 2017. Who won the year? The NSA
I just bought an IPhone X It still hurts where my kidney used to be.
How is the iPhone like a homeless person? They used to have homes but ever since they lost their Jobs they lost their home
The magic word
Daughter: Dad, do I get a new Iphone?
Dad: What's the magic word?
Daughter: Larissa!
Dad: Larissa??
Daughter: yes, your affair!
Dad: Do you want a cover with your Iphone too?
Your mom is so ugly... she was walking through the Aquarium and a Walrus unlocked her iPhone X.
If only there was an easily recognizable way to identify an idiot -Sent from my iPhone
Not sure how the iPhone X facial identification would work for my ex-girlfriend Because she's so two-faced
Why do you get when you put an iPhone into a blender? Apple juice
Look, dumbass, I've got your phone! Owner looks at iPhone, iPhone unlocks, thief runs off with it.
A guy buys the new Iphone 8 , He puts it in his back pocket when he hears a crack I hope that was my spine he said.
You know why the iPhone X is the biggest leap forward ever? Because they skipped 9.
I don't have an iPhone, cause iPhone also said "you deserve better"
The new IPhone is not that impressive Let's face it
Yo mama so fat That the new iPhone requires panorama mode for facial recognition.
iPhone X has facial recognition. It'll look at your face & tell you that you can't afford it.
iPhone X has face recognition... so girls aren't gonna be able to unlock their phones when they take their makeup off
Why did Apple call their next latest phone iPhone X... ...when they really should have called it the iPhone $999.
What shop did the pirate go to in order to get his broken iPhone fixed? iPatch.
My friends say I'm a lot like an Iphone I peaked in 2008 and I'm not compatible with anyone else.
How do you milk sheep?
With iPhone accessories.
Sent from my iPhone.
*My iPhone on Airplane mode*
Me: Siri, surely it must rain today
Siri: It won't and don't call me Shirley
Why was the iPhone wearing glasses? Because he lost all his contacts!
How do you milk a sheep? With iPhone accessories.
Horror movies are always much tamer when I watch them on my iPhone I have it set to Do Not Disturb
I asked my kids, "Why isn't an iPhone charger...?" "...called Apple Juice?!"
What does an iPhone drink for energy? Apple juice.
I just spilled milk all over my new iPhone. I could return it in time, once I find the cereal number.
[WTS]Used Iphone 6S dropped by Son,[Still Functionable][Price Negotiable] He is 4 years old and he is really adorable,PM me if interested
Hey Siri, teach me Kung Fu! Neo, you need to unlock your iPhone first.
I changed my iPhone's name to "Titanic" It's syncing now.
The Red iPhone is here... It took them 10 years to finally be like an apple
I saw an iPhone store get robbed... I guess now I'm an iWitness.
Can all 16gb iPhone users send a screenshot of their storage page? No sorry I don't have enough storage to take a screenshot.
How do you milk a sheep? With iPhone periph**e**rals.
My boyfriend is like an iPhone 7 Just jacks off
What do the final scene of titanic and the iPhone 7 have in common? They both could've fit the jack
Me: Hey, can I have an Iphone 7 please?
Apple guy: Possibly... What's your name?
Me: Jack
Apple guy: Sorry, no jacks.
The iPhone 7 ad has a catchy song... Hit the road Jack
The iPhone 7 may be revolutionary and everything.... But the Samsung Note 7 blows you away.
Whats an ex-iphone user's favorite cereal? Apple Jacks
What did Apply say to the iPhone 7? Hit the road, Jack.
I left my iPhone 7 in my car seat When I came back, the car window was broken. Someone had left another iPhone 7 in my car. So not fair!
What does Ukraine have in common with the iPhone 7? They both suffered the loss of one very important port.
Hi, I'm black and I can't stand the stereotype that we are all criminals. -Sent from your iPhone
I just changed my iPhone's name to "Titanic"
I just changed my iPhone's name to "Titanic" and plugged it in.
It's syncing now.
I read the new iPhone was a commercial failure. This surprised me, because I thought it was going to be a 6S.
Some people thought the plus-size iPhone would be a failure... but I knew eventually it would be a huge 6s
Did you hear the iPhone 6S Plus is selling really well? Seems like it's a big 6S
how do you know someone got an iphone? he's tellin you
What did the Eskimo say about the interface on his new iphone? It was counter-inuitive.
So they're releasing the Iphone 5 tomorrow. I always knew they were innocent.
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