Israel Jokes

I'm starting to think this country really is run by Jews But it's still only my first week in Israel.

The Holy Land isn't a fake place Israel

If Israel gets wiped off the map... Then we'll have to start calling it Wasrael

My son thinks the land of the Jews is fake. I told him it Israel.

Israel officially decriminalizes marijuana use So that's one country in the middle east where I wouldn't mind being stoned.

Did you hear about the guy who opened a cheese store in Israel? He called it "Cheeses of Nazareth".

Pakistan makes nuclear threat in response to fake news The struggle Israel

I met a conspiracy theorist in Israel the other day. He kept ranting about Jews secretly not controlling the government.

What did i do to escape Iraq? Iran



Don’t worry this story Israel

Donald Trump has cancelled a planned trip to Israel. When asked why, Trump said, "They already have a wall and fear of Muslims. My work there is done."

Though some people may tell you that the holy land is fake... ... it Israel

Have you heard about the new car from Israel? Not only does it stop on the dime, but it picks it up too!

How do you start a rave in Israel? You stick a quarter to the ceiling

USA has 9/11, France has 11/13, and Israel has? 24/7

There's a cheese manufacturer in Israel It's called 'cheeses of Nazareth'

How did Moses make his tea. Hebrew it.
This is not a joke Israel.

Why does Google like Israel? Because Israel's leader is Not In Yahoo.

Volkswagen announces it will open a facility in Israel to make a new advanced vehicle... The new models are are so advanced not only will they stop on a dime, they'll actually pick it up.

What do the World Wide Web and the Prime Minister of Israel have in common? They are both Net and Yahoo.

Why is google angry with the Prime Minister of Israel? Because he prefers to browse the net in yahoo

What would Israel be called if it ever gets conquered? Wasrael

For Palestinians living on the West Bank... the struggle Israel

Sean Connery has been scouring Israel for ancient musical instruments. When asked about his progress, he replied, "I've only found one shofar."

Match the middle eastern country to its sworn enemy... - Bahrain
- Lebanon
- Qatar
- United Arab Emirates
- Egypt
- Syria
- Jordan
- Iran
- Iraq
- Saudi Arabia
- Algeria
- Morocco
- Yemen
- Oman
- Kuwait

1. Israel

What is the slogan for Burger King in Israel? Have it Yahweh

What is the coldest country in the world? Israel. Because israeli cold.

What's the most popular search engine in Israel? They surf the Net On Yahoo.

what do you call someone from israel that has to sneeze? A Jew

Who provides tech support for Israel? RabbIT

So I was talking to my friend about this new Jewish state... He didn't believe me when I initially told him,

so I said "Yeah man, Israel."

What did Aladdin sing when he saw Israel for the first time? A whole Jew world.

I opened a cheese shop in Israel today Called it "Cheeses of Nazareth"

What do you call Israel's soldiers? G.I. Jews

Why does the US love Israel so much? Because is a raeli good country

Why did Israel's military refuse to buy the 3D image projector? Because of how much the holo cost.

What do you call someone who is only part Israeli? An Israel-light.

Trump's in Saudi Arabia, Israel... ... and the Vatican this week, cradles of USA's 3 great religions:

Christianity, Judaism, and Oil.

The Mormon Prophet has banned Tomb Raider games... ...apparently they have fake Native American history in them that doesn't revolve around Native Americans being a lost tribe of Israel.

UN singles out Israel as world's only violeter of women rights. The vote was backed by council of Saudi Arabia, Iran, Pakistan and Yemen.

What is Israel's favorite martial art? Jew-Jitsu