Hilarious Jobs Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Jobs Jokes

Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump. But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.

EDIT: epic

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Steve Jobs would have made a better president than Donald Trump... But that’s comparing apples to oranges.

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Steve jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump. But its a silly comparison really, its like comparing apples to oranges.

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What do Apple and Donald Trump have in common? I would say that they both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs, but I shouldn't compare apples to oranges.

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What do Donald Trump & the iPhone 7 have in common? They both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs.

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Why did Donald Trump marry an immigrant? Once again, immigrants are doing the jobs no American want to do.

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Jobs that don't exist anymore 1. Steve

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My wife asked me, “Hey, can you give examples of jobs that don’t exist anymore?” I said, “Steve.”

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Steve Jobs would have been a better president than Trump But I guess it's not fair to compare apples and oranges

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What food makes women stop giving blow jobs? Wedding cake

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Trump's wives were immigrants, proving the adage true... Immigrants do the jobs Americans don't want to do.

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You can really see how much Trump cares about creating jobs in this country The White House seems to always be hiring.

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I believe in giving jobs to the mentally disabled... but we shouldn't elect them President.

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What do Donald Trump and the iPhone 7 have in common? They both think de-porting is the answer when there’s no more Jobs.

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Steve Jobs would have been a much better president than Donald Trump But its a silly comparison really, like comparing apples to oranges.

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At the job interview Interviewer: I see here that you had a five-year gap between jobs. Can you please explain it?

Me: Oh that's when I went to Yale.

Interviewer: That is very impressive. You can start tomorrow.

Me: Yay, I got a yob.

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Some say Steve Jobs died too young. Others say it was simply an homage to Apple's attitude towards battery life.

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Steve Jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump... But i shouldn't compare apples and oranges.

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It’s refreshing to see a President keeping his campaign promises. Although I’m not entirely sure rotating people through the cabinet counts as creating jobs but the effort is certainly present.

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Jobs that do not exist anymore Steve

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Okay to tell dead Steve Jobs jokes now? What's the difference between cancer and the middle class? At least cancer got Jobs.

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To be fair, Donald Trump HAS created a lot of jobs. It’s going to take a lot of people to clean up this mess.

Edit: yikes I really attracted all the trump supporters didn’t I... like moths to a flame

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Two of Trump's wives have been immigrants. Which just goes to show you that those people will take jobs that no American wants.

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Why did Donald Trump marry an Immigrant? Once again, immigrants are doing the jobs no American wants to do

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The reason for the wage gap is that men have high paying jobs like doctor, lawyer, etc. while women usually have lower paying jobs... ...like female doctor, female lawyer, etc.

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because Apple kept the doctors away.

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Trumps wives were immigrants Proving again that they'll do jobs Americans won't

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Trump Says Immigrants take Jobs Americans Refuse to take. Like being his wife.

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What's the difference between cancer & a black man? Cancer gets Jobs.

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Illegal immigrants do jobs that Americans don't want. Like marrying Donald Trump.

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I think Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump... ...but I guess that's just comparing apples and oranges.

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Why did an immigrant marry trump ? Because immigrants do the jobs that no American wants to do

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Did you hear the one about rim jobs? It's very tongue in cheek.

-came up with this while trying to fall asleep. Pretty sure it's OC

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Think of all the new jobs Trump will bring to America: Wall builders, death squad patrollers, bounty hunters and immigrant poachers.

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I think my wife was sleeping with my boss so I changed jobs to prevent that from happening... One of the perks of being self-employed.

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Jobs that dont exist anymore... Steve

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What did the suspenseful man say when he finished three jobs? Done done done!

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I grew up in a small town that only had one general store, one bar and one prostitute. Mum found it pretty hard working three jobs.

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Why did Steve Jobs die too soon? Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

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New Jobs Jokes

A nihilist and an absurdist both have jobs as plumbers While talking to each other one day, the nihilist says "i hate this job! Why do i still work here when it has meaning?", to which the absurdist replies, "you must imagine yourself happy."

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I came up with some great jokes about social media influencer jobs But they didn’t work

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Before he died, I had the pleasure of meeting Steve Jobs. I asked him "can you give a young man advice on how to succeed?" He gave me a confused look and said "just put the seed in your mouth and the sucking should come naturally."

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Who says Feminism isn't working? Just the other day I saw a highlight video of a woman working multiple jobs. She was a Business owner, a maid, a realtor and even a new stepmom to a buff stepson who she obviously cared for very deeply.

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I have recently hired an Eastern European cleaner. She's good but takes an age to get any jobs done. Slovak.

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Saw a sign at my local police station, it read "Black man wanted for rape" Why do they get the best jobs?

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We are the immingrants. We have come to take your jobs. Except that you dont have any.

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It's sad to see people with MBA's ending up as McDonald's cashiers They're taking jobs from English majors.

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So a guy walks into a careers advice centre... He walks over to the counter after reading up on some potential aviation jobs and asks "Do you know where the Royal Air Force flyers are?".

The man at the counter replied "In a rack somewhere".

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What’s the difference between a car tire and 300 blow jobs? One’s a Goodyear the other is a great year.

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You know, I agree with Trump about refugees... ...we can't just let all of these Syrians come into America and take all of our Mexican people's jobs!

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Apparently, an Apple computer, built by Steve Jobs in his garage in 1976, sold for nearly $1 million... Which makes it the most affordable Apple product currently on the market...

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Steve Jobs would be a better president than Donald Trump But let's not compares apples to oranges.

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What's the difference between Steve Jobs and Donald Trump? A good many things, but it's a little unfair to compare Apples to oranges.

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Did you hear about the optimistic workers down at the Washing Machine factory? They absolutely hated their jobs but no matter what they always put a good spin on it.

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Im going to start a handyman business that employs illegals for odd jobs... I'm going to call it Manuel Labor.

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How is the iPhone like a homeless person? They used to have homes but ever since they lost their Jobs they lost their home

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People complain about a lack of women in tech jobs That's nonsense - what about Siri, Alexa and Cortana?

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Steve jobs died of PC How ironic

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Apple is running out of ideas They're looking for other Jobs.

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All the hipsters love Steve Jobs ...now that he's underground.

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What would Pirate Steve Jobs wear? An iPatch! Yarrrr.

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I needed some things done around the house so I hired an odd job man I gave him a list of 8 jobs to do but he only did jobs 1, 3, 5 and 7!

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Despite Trump's recent push to bring manufacturing jobs to the U,S., where are most of his Signature Series ties made? Tieland

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What would you call a girl, who changed more thn 10 jobs in a month she is good at blowing jobs.

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Person a: so im a good lier what jobs should i choose a lawyer or a politician Person b: you could also be a preacher

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I heard Steve Jobs was a Buddhist Due to abusing child labor in asian countries, his karma was getting killed by a PC.

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Why do spiders usually get jobs in tech? Most of them are already competent web developers.

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What did the Art Major say to the Other Majors? I'll paint your reactions when your Jobs are Automated if you buy me dinner!

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If Steve Jobs was reincarnated into a Chinese family... he would be old enough to be making iphones now.

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jobs Woman: I don't think I will ever be working there again after what my boss said to me!

Husband: What did he say to you?

Woman: You're Fired

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Steve Jobs and Trump had one thing in common, both hated the PC culture Political correctness and pancreatic cancer.

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Apple banned me from ever using their products ever again. Because I said I was going to steal their Jobs.

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there was a time when there was Johnny Cash, Steve Jobs and Bob Hope. now there is no Cash, no Jobs, and no Hope. please dont let Kevin Bacon die.

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Yo' mama is so fat... ...She sat on my iPod and turned it into an iPad, and then asked Steve Jobs to market it.

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Last night I met a woman with two jobs. Her night job was prostitution. Her day job was undercover cop.

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What did they call it when Bart Simpson met Steve Jobs? iCaramba

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Since Trump wants to get coal miners their jobs back... is it a good time to hope for Enron, too?

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I think i made this up? In star wars a lot of people lose hands. Like enough that there has to be an entire hand economy. Star wars must have a lot of hand jobs.

I thought this, it made me laugh, and i think i made it.

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I know this one lazy mexican He also has three jobs..

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I don't like all these immigrants in Britain. Coming over here, taking our Polish people's jobs.

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My favorite hooker lost one of her fingers recently. Hand jobs are now 25% off.

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RIP Jobs What did the unemployed cancer cell say?
"We should get Jobs"

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You know what, those protests changed my mind I thought only some of them didn't have jobs but now I think all of the protestors don't have jobs.

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What's the difference between someone who makes wooden furniture and someone who does paint jobs? One is a carpenter and one is a car painter

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Donald Trump is already generating millions of the new jobs in America! Thanks to him, protesting is now considered a full time job!

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A Latino shot an unarmed black man today, and everyone is in an uproar Especially the police, saying "They took our jobs!"

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I want a job where I can really make change, instead of what I'm doing now. Anyone know any cashier jobs hiring?

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So a husband and wife go to marriage counseling. The counsellor says, "We should begin with something you both have in common."

So the man says, "Well, we both hate giving blow jobs."

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What's the difference between Trump and cancer? Cancer killed Jobs

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How will Donald Trump create 25 millions jobs? By having 25 million people move to Canada.

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[Politics] Illegal immigrants are lucky The government is helping them escape the US

...and into mexico, where a booming ladder industry is providing plenty of jobs

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What do a hillbilly and a nepotist blackberry executive have in common? They both give their relatives rim jobs.

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The US can't rely on Hillary Clinton to create jobs The last meaningful job Hillary had was outsourced to Monica Lewinsky...

...and Monica blew it!

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Why are so many African Americans moving to Detroit? Because they hear there are no jobs there.

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Donald Trump has just announced a massive jobs program involving tax credits for shredded cheese factories. He says he wants to "make America grate again."

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Fetty Wapp was fired from 3 cashier jobs before turning to rap music No matter what items were scanned through, the total always came up to $17.38

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And old timer is talking to a millennial and says, "Your generation is sure in trouble thanks to all this talk of computers taking all the jobs. Aren't you worried?" To which the millennial replied, What jobs?

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My 20/15 eyesight is really helpful during tough economic times... because a lot of jobs require minimum supervision.

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