Hilarious Kiss Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Kiss Jokes

Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you, and be glad that you are alive? I did and apparently will not be allowed on this airline again...

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Do you ever just wake up and kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel glad that you are alive? I just did and apparently I'm not allowed on this airline anymore...

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Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel glad that you're alive? I just did and apparently will not be allowed on this airline again.

Score: 1916

75% of men kiss their wives goodbye when they leave the house. 90% kiss their house goodbye when they leave their wives.

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Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel glad you're alive? I just did and apparently will not be allowed on this airline again

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I don’t always kiss my wife goodbye when I leave the house... But I always kiss my house goodbye when I leave my wife!

Score: 420

My wife told me to kiss her like if we were in a soap opera I hugged her tight, kissed her with passion and then slapped her because how dare she?!

Score: 269

I just got punched by my friend for trying to kiss his new baby on the forehead. Apparently, I have to wait for the baby to be born first.

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Study reveals 20% of men kiss wife goodbye when they leave the house. 80% of men kiss house goodbye when they leave their wife. Conclusion. Want to keep your house, start kissing your wife.

Score: 138

I overheard Oedipus swearing like a sailor... ...so I asked him, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Score: 78

You shouldn't kiss someone on January 1st It's the first date

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I usually close my eyes when I kiss girls. Not as much pepper spray gets in that way.

Score: 59

My girlfriend told me to kiss her where it smells funny... So I took her to New Jersey.

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Did you ever wake up, give the person next to you a big kiss, and just feel glad you're alive? I did that today, and I'm not allowed back on that airline.

Score: 52

"Daddy, why don't you kiss me the way you kiss mommy?" "Because I love mommy."

Score: 48

What happens if you kiss a bird? You get chirpies. But it’s okay because it tweetable!

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Survey Says A survey found that 20% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house, and 80% kiss their house goodbye when they leave their wife.

Score: 39

Why should you never kiss a canary? You'll catch chirpies.

It's a canarial disease.

There's no tweetment.

Score: 39

People say the hardest part of the first date is the first kiss. No idea what they mean, the hardest part of my first date was getting her to take the sleeping pills.

Score: 36

How do skeletons kiss Skeletons don't have lips, they just bone.

Score: 34

My fifth grade teacher taught me how to smoke pot and kiss. Best hire I’ve ever made as a school principal.

Score: 34

How do you kiss a girl on valentines day? You use tulips.

Score: 32

Have you ever heard of the Australian Kiss? It's like a French kiss, but from down under

Score: 31

A little buffalo ask his dad, "How come you kiss uncle Steve the same way you kissed mommy?" "I'm Bison".

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Don’t Kiss! Wife: "Our new neighbour always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don't you do that?"

Husband: "How can I? I don't even know her."

Score: 30

Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping next to you, and be happy that you are alive? I did and and apparently will not be allowed on this airline again...

Score: 30

90% of men kiss their wives goodbye when they leave the house The others kiss the house goodbye when they leave their wives

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What do you get when you kiss a bird? Chirpies. It's a Canarial Disease. It's Untweetable!

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A King says to 3 of his most esteemed Knights - Sir Brand! Kiss my hand.

- Sir Amit! Kiss my feet.

- Sir Hancock! Sir Hancock? Why are you running away from me?

Score: 27

What happens every time Gene Simmons gets in a fight with his band mates? They Kiss and makeup

Score: 16

Why is Oedipus against swearing? Because he has to kiss his mother with that mouth

Score: 15

To the Girl I Kissed Last Here's to the girl that I kissed last…

She didn't kiss slowly nor did she kiss fast…

But she kissed so long and...

She kissed so sweet…

She made things stand that had no feet!

Score: 7

My wife says I have a problem with alcohol abuse. I politely told her I don't. I managed to stay calm and kiss her goodnight even though I was getting so angry.

When she went to bed I punched my bottle of Jack Daniels.

Score: 6

In kindergarten, I had my first kiss with my crush in the back of the classroom. Needless to say, I got barred from teaching ever again.

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What is the difference between a French kiss and an Australian kiss? ...one is down unda

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What's the difference between a French kiss and a Belgian kiss? A Belgian kiss is more Flemish.

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You CAN kiss a nun!!! Just dont get into the habit.

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Ricky sent SMS to his BOSS: "Me sick, no work" Boss SMS back:
"When I am sick I kiss my wife try it"
2 hours later Ricky sms 2 boss:
"Me ok, ur wife very sweet"

Score: 3

You shouldn't kiss on January 1st. Coz it's only the first date

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New Kiss Jokes

Me: I give a kiss to my wife before leaving for my office. He: Me too. After you leave for office.

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A kiss from what on the farm would cause the end of the world? Alpaca lips.

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Even though shrek is a love story between shrek and fionna, they never kiss Instead, they just smash mouths.

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One of my friends asked why my wife is always with me everywhere I go! I told him because she is so ugly I don't want to kiss her goodbye.

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Bill Cosby runs into prince charming at the bar Cosby says: “Son, you can live happily ever after, but only if you don’t kiss her.”

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Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping next to you, and be glad that you're alive? I don't.

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You may think it's funny, to kiss your Honey, when their nose is runny, but It's snot!

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Do you know why you never kiss a girl at a Bank? because she's a teller

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Girls will tell you that you have to kiss a lotta frogs to find a prince... But guys will tell you that you have to kiss a lotta princesses to find a woman!

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Hear about the Death Mage who liked to kiss a victim's jugular before killing them? He was a neck romancer.

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Why does the Pope kiss the ground after he lands? He flies Alitalia.

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Every kiss begins with K Too bad ugly begins with U

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Your mother is so ugly your father takes her with him to work so he wouldn't have to kiss her goodbye

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- "Have you ever had an Australian Kiss?" - "I don't think so...What's that?"

- "It's like a French Kiss, but down under."

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Have you ever heard of the French kiss? We have something similar here in Australia, it's like the French one only down under.

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What do you call it when the water splashes against your rear while taking a dump? Poseidon's kiss.

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Got my first kiss on the lips today Too bad Grandma is seeing someone else

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At a wedding, tapping on the glass makes the groom and the bride kiss. Smashing the glass however.. Clearly got me kicked out of the house.

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Why did the inductor kiss the capacitor? he couldn't resistor

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Democratic Difrence Between Usa & India Democratic Difrence Between Usa & India. In Usa U Can Kiss In A Public Place But Can’t Susu. In India U Can Susu In Public Place But Cant Kiss.

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Australian joke I just heard An Australian kiss is like a French kiss only it's... down under.

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