Lab Jokes

Dogs are the best. I have a lab. It's a meth lab. But I guard it with pit bulls.

My biology teacher grew human vocal chords from stem cells in the lab, the results... ... speak for themselves

I failed my chemistry lab exam. I was in the middle of performing a chemical reaction but I got sued by the Fine Bros.

A million or more lab rats die each year and my fiance screams at me for running over a mouse. That's the last time we're going to Disney.

My friend's a scientist and accidentally chilled his lab rat to absolute zero... At first the rat was just frozen, but he's 0K now.

In his quest to gain more power, the mad scientist extended his hours at the lab. This is after he discovered that power is work overtime.

I work at a pharmaceutical research lab, and we managed to kill a rat with marijuana today. To be fair, it took around 20 lbs of it and we had to drop it on him a few times.

My friend just told me he has a chocolate lab. Turns out it's a dog, not a place. Bummer.

Researchers have recently started using lawyers instead of rats in their lab experiments. You don’t get so attached to them, and there are some things a rat just won’t do.

Why did the optimist lose his job at the photographic processing lab? He couldn't focus on the negatives.

What did the zoophile scientist say to his assistant? If you need me I'll be in my lab

Did you hear about the science experiment where they successfully transferred human DNA into a dog? They say the scientist spent too much time in the lab.

Why should you never let a panda into a chemistry lab? Because it will create pandamonium

My biologist girlfriend was making competent cells at the lab today... I asked if they were very sure of them cells.

What's the difference between a meth lab and a Ferrari? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage

What do a redneck divorce and a burning meth lab have in common? Someone's losing a trailer.

What does a redneck divorce and a burning meth lab have in common? Someone's losing a trailer.

A chemistry lab is like a giant party; Some people like dropping acid, others prefer dropping the base.

How do you get to a position of power in a science lab? Work over time

Dogs are the Best Dogs are the best. I have a lab. It’s a meth lab. But I guard it with pit bulls.

There's a woman named Jean who works in my lab and everyday she comes in stinking of body odor. I don't really speak to her much and rarely say hello, usually if I pass her in the hallway I just say "Hi Jean"

I worked at Pathology lab, i was asked to leave after one of my report's said "cause of death, autopsy"

When I was interviewed for a job in the chemistry department, they asked me if I had lab experience. I said I was more of a cat person.

We were dissecting toads in lab... When I accidentally dropped mine onto my feet. I tried to hide it, but the instructor saw and made me leave for wearing open toad shoes.

What's something a good scientist or a bad pet owner would say? I'll be in my lab

I asked my doctor: "Doc, did the lab results come back yet? The curiosity is killing me." Doc: "Well, it's not the curiosity ..."

What's a scientist's favorite type of dog? A lab.

I asked my lab partner if he has the sodium hypobromite He said NaBrO.

I Used to work in a pathology lab... I was forced to leave when one of my reports said "Cause of Death: Autopsy"

This guy in my chem lab was so polite today . . . When I interrupted him to borrow his scale, he said that if it happens again, he will tare me a new one.

After my prostrate exam, the nurse asked me an interesting question. She asked "Who was the guy in the lab coat?"

Why did Cruella De Vil become a scientist? Because she wanted to wear a lab coat.

A chemistry lab is like a big party some drop the acid - others drop the base.

How did the doggy scientist get into his secret lair? Through a Lab-bra-door.

you should make sure chrome doesn't save your password on lab computers i logged you out

prequel nerd

The other scientists in the lab were all talking about atoms. I told them not to trust them because they make up everything.


They asked me to leave.

The chemist got arrested last night in his lab He was charged with a salt and battery

Did you hear about the herbologist that converted his lab into a motel? He says there is plantae of room for all.

After adding a new lab to my dog store our pawfits have gone through the woof!