Hilarious Law Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Law Jokes

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Murphy's Law states that anything that can happen, will happen. But are you familiar with Cole's Law? It's finely-shredded raw cabbage with a salad dressing, commonly either vinaigrette or mayonnaise.

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I came across 6 men beating up my mother in law. My wife asked "aren't you going to help?" I said no. Six should be enough.

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Me: *slapping my older brother in the face with his own hand* Me: stop hitting yourself haha, why do you keep hitting yourself

Sister-in-law: ~crying~ is this why you wanted an open casket

Score: 2329

My wife accused me of hating all of her relatives. I told her "That is not true, intact I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."

Score: 2038

There's no such thing as a "new" Law and Order joke. They've all been done done.

Score: 1970

TIL Calaway's Law states that "the best way to get the right answer on the Internet is not to ask a question, it's to post the wrong answer." Now we wait.

Score: 1761

My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives... I️ said, “No, in fact, I️ like your mother in law a lot better than I️ like mine”

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What do you call a priest that is also a lawyer? A father in law

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What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father in law.

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My Wife just accused me of hating her side of the family and relatives. I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."

Score: 1009

My mother in law has a massive case of diarrhea She won’t find out until she gets home and unpacks her luggage

Score: 910

I was walking down the street with my wife.. And i saw my mother in law being beaten up by six men, when my wife asked "Aren't you going to help?" I said "No, six should be enough."
From Les Dawson.

Score: 656

what do you call a priest who quits to become a lawyer? ..... a father in law.

Score: 518

Most black 15-year-olds are decent law-abiding citizens. It's their kids that cause all the trouble.

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I took my mother in law out today I love being a sniper

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What’s the difference between an in-law and an outlaw? An outlaw is wanted.

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"Diana!" I said, greeting my mother-in-law as she walked through the door... She said, "My name's Anna."

I said, "Yeah, I know."

Score: 295

As I was picking up my mother in law from the airport, I asked her, “So, how long do you think you’ll be staying with us?”

She answered, “Well... for as long as you like.”

“What, not even for coffee??”

Score: 289

Anagram of "mother in law" Woman Hitler

Score: 269

The police have just released my mother-in-law after questioning her about the murder of her husband. They only spoke to her for 2 minutes before coming to the conclusion he committed suicide.

Score: 260

If your mother-in-law and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose... would you go to lunch or a movie?

Score: 247

What do you call someone in the White House who is honest, ethical, intellectual, law abiding, and truthful? A tourist

Score: 233

A conversation between my mother and my wife. Wife: Hi mom, I am so happy to see you. How long will you be staying?
Mother-in-Law: As long as you want me to...
Wife: What! you wont even stay for coffee?

Score: 229

What does a black man call a black lawyer? A brother in law

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Have you heard of Murphy's Law? It states that anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Have you heard of Coles Law? It's thinly sliced cabbage.

Score: 209

My mother in law was getting beaten up by four guys and my wife shouted "Go Help", to which I replied "four should be enough".

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Apparently the Dad jokes never stop... I just told my wife I was going to go hop in the shower; my 66 year old father-in-law looks me straight in the face and says, "You know, it works better if you just stand in it"...

Score: 187

What do you call a priest who became a lawyer? A father in law.

Score: 169

A man named Eric Cole... ... discovered that there was a direct correlation between the amount of mayonnaise on his cabbage salad and how good it tastes.
He's calling this correlation Cole's Law.

Score: 166

What is the difference between unlawful and illegal? Unlawful = Against the law

Illegal = A sick bird

Score: 162

"Where's your mother in law?" - "She's in the garden."

- "Where? I can't see her."

- "You have to dig a little."

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You guys ever heard of Murphy's law? Murphy's law states that if anything can go wrong, it will go wrong.

You guys ever heard of Cole's law? Its thinly sliced cabbage with a vinaigrette, salad dressing.

Score: 98

My mother-in-law fell down our well last week but she is fine she stopped crying for help 2 days ago

Score: 86

Pay me what I'm worth! I once asked my boss for a raise.
He asked me how much I wanted.
"Just pay me what I'm worth," I said.
He replied, "I can't. There's a minimum wage law."

Score: 83

So I saw my mother-in-law getting beaten up by six guys "Aren't you going to do something?" My wife asked.
"Nah, six should be enough."

(Les Dawson)

Score: 81

Two married men are talking: - My mother-in-law is an angel - You're lucky, mine's still alive.

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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives... I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."

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Have you guys heard of Murphy's law? It states that anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Have you ever heard of Cole's law? It's thinly sliced cabbage.

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There was a man who claimed that, by putting mayonnaise on any food no matter how bland you could make it better. They decided to name it after him and call it Cole's Law.

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New Law Jokes

I was at a family reunion when my cousin said he got a job as a crime scene cleaner I asked then asked him “what side of the law?”

Score: 4

My sister in law is a nurse and she always has a red pen with her. I asked her why and she laughed and said ...you never know when I may have to draw blood.

Score: 5

What happened to the semi colon who broke the law? He got given two consecutive sentences

Score: 21

A friend told me that his mother-in-law is a real angel. I told him how lucky he is, mine is still alive.

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My mother in law complained that the thermometer I gave her (which she hung in a very sunny spot) wasn't showing an accurate temperature. So I told her to stick it where the sun doesn't shine.

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My mother-in-law once went on holiday with a massive case of diarrhoea. She only found out when she opened her suitcase.

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I’ve decided to call my mother-in-law the ‘Exorcist’ ...because every time she came to visit she’d make all the spirits disappear

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I've spent more than four years looking for my mother in law's killer. But I can't find anyone to do it!

Score: 22

Wife told me to take my mother-in-law out. One punch did it.

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As a young man, I used to love my birthday parties , but now anytime my birthday candles are lit state law requires that a fire extinguisher be present.

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My Mother-in-law robbed a bank and is on the run from the police Now she's my Mother-out-law

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Inspiration to look up to Sir Isaac Newton was only 23 when he discovered the law of gravity.
T-pain was only 22 when he rhymed mansion with wiscansin.

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My mother-in-law told me I had poor posture when standing. I stand corrected.

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I asked my incontinent father-in-law if he wanted anything from the store,he replied ... "Depends"

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Please pray for my mother-in-law. She was taken to hospital this morning. A bee landed on her face. Luckily she wasn't stung. I was too quick with the spade.

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So these 2 cannibals are eating dinner. One cannibal says, man I hate my mother-in-law. The other cannibal says, so eat the rice.

Score: 12

My mother-in-law came into work at lunch time today, and I must admit unlike other men, I was genuinely pleased to see her. By the way I’m an undertaker.

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What do you call a nun who has become a lawyer? A sister in law

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What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer? A father in law

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If a priest became a lawyer, what would he be? A Father-in-law

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In-laws A son would be a son-in law

A mother would be a mother-in law

A brother would be a brother-in law

But your wife, is the law.

Score: 5

A 17 in blackjack is like a mother in law Sometimes you want to hit it, but it's probably smarter not to.

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The law of averages A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting.
They spot a deer and the biologist shoots and misses left by three feet. The chemist shoots and misses right three feet. The statistician shouts "WE HIT IT !"

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I told my father in law we have something in common. "What's that?"

"Your daughter calls me Daddy too."

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I've just been reading that, by law, you have to turn your headlights on when it's raining in Sweden… And I'm thinking, "Who's going to let me know when it's raining in Sweden?"

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Thought of this in the car What do you call it when it's required by law to numerically organize everyone's yard?

Lawn Order.

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The President's son, son-in-law, campaign manager, and a Russian lawyer walk into a bar… finish that one for me, will ya

Score: 5

Two cannibals sit down to eat The one ask to the other why he is so sad?

I don't like my mother in law

It's okay, just eat your chips then

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My parents in law could never have a baby That's why I'm still single

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Had to bury my mother-in-law today and I must admit, it was quite a shocking experience… I didn’t expect her to scream for as long as she did…

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Ignorance of the law is not a valid defense… unless you're the president

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When is the only time you're smiling and winking at your mother in law? When you're looking at her through a rifle scope.

Score: 19

I broke the law in front of a Jamaican selling spices He said I'm a cinnamon

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Newtons Law What is Newton's Third Law of Women?

For every male action, there is a female overreaction. :p

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Have you heard of Murphy's Law? "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong."

Have you heard of Cole's Law?

It's thinly sliced cabbage

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As a law school drop out, I struggle with alcoholism... I just can't pass a bar

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Shredded cabbage tastes better than unshredded cabbage Cole's Law

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What is the law that requires cabbage to be shredded and covered in a vinaigrette? Cole's Law

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What's Newton's first law? You don't talk about Newton!

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What do you do when you miss your mother in law? Reload

Aim

Shoot again!

Score: 5

A mother in law knocks on the door, her son in law opens it.... MIL - hi Gabe, I'm here for a visit.

Gabe - cool. How long are you here for?

MIL - I don't know, as long as you want me to.

Gabe - you mean you won't even stay for a cup of tea?

Score: 7

Was driving down the street when I saw someone getting jumped by 3 guys. I quickly pulled over and ran towards the scene. I got there and the 4 of us messed him up good.

Source: 75 year old Mexican father-in-law

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What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean beef!

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef!

What do you call a cow with two legs?

.....

Your mother-in-law!

Score: 5

A newly wedded desperate soldier sends a hand-grenade to his mother-in-law, with a note: Dearest Mom,
If you pull this ring, I'll be able to get 3 days leave.

Score: 9

I told my brother in law, David, to name his son Harley that way I can introduce him as Harley, David's son.

Score: 14

I like my men like I like my coffee Made by my mother-in-law.

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My mother-in-law fell in a wishing well. I didn't know they worked.

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Today I change my major from law to liberal arts. Psych.

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Did you hear about the roman fighter who ate his mother in law? Terrible indigestion but he was gladiator.

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What's the difference between illegal and unlawful? One is against the law, the other is a sick bird.

Thanks folks, tip your waitresses I'll be here all day!

Score: 38

Why do lawyers make good Excorcists? Because possession is 9/10th of the law.

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What do you call a little person who talks to dead people and runs from the law? A small medium at large

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What's the Penalty for Bigamy in Utah? Two mothers-in-law.

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Why hadn't the law graduate and the bartender ever met? The graduate never passed the bar

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Two cannibals are sitting around eating dinner. One begins to complain to the other, "You know, I really don't like my mother in law." "Then just eat the noodles."

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The difference between a Life Scout and an Eagle Scout. A Life Scout is ready for anything. The Eagle Scout is ready for Murphy's Law.

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TIL of Cunningham's Law It states that the best way to get the right answer on the internet is to ask a question.

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Mike goes to a law consultant. He asks: So how much do you charge per question?

Consultant: 150€.

Mike: Isn't it too expensive?

Consultant: Yes it is. So whats your third question?.

Score: 11

Last night a police officer knocked on my door and said "Sir, it looks like your mother in law has been hit by a bus" I replied " I know, but she has a great personality."

Score: 56

I asked my dyslexic friend to pick me up some erotic videos featuring law enforcement officers He came back with pop corn.

Score: 28