Lifeguard Jokes

Got caught peeing in the pool The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy? He was too far-out.

Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie from drowning? He was too far out man

I was having a quick wee in the deep end of the swimming pool when the lifeguard blew his whistle. It was so loud I nearly fell in.

I was kicked out of the neighborhood pool for peeing in the deep end The lifeguard noticed and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in

Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? Cause he was too far out, man

Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out, man

I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

I got caught peeing in the pool the other day The lifeguard yelled at me so loud that I almost fell in.

I went with my kids for a swim in the public kids pool and apparently adults peeing in a pool is not entirely unnoticeable The lifeguard yelled so loud at me I almost fell in the water.

Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out

I got caught peeing in the swimming pool today... The lifeguard shouted so loud I almost fell in.

I got kicked out of a pool for peeing in it The lifeguard started yelling, telling me to stop.

"But all the little kids do it too!" I yelled back.

"But not while standing on the diving board!"

Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out man

Why did the hippie lifeguard not save the drowning boy? He was too far out man!!

I had to pee really bad at the swimming pool yesterday, so I tried to sneak it in at the deep end... But the lifeguard blew his whistle so loud I nearly fell in.

I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today... The lifeguard shouted at me so loudly, I almost fell in.

The German Lifeguard A group of friends were on a boat in Munich when the hull was breached.

They quickly called for the German Life Guard yelling "Help we're sinking!"


The Life Guard asked "Ja, vat are you sinking about?"

Why didn't the lifeguard save the drowning hippie? He was too far out man.

Why didn't the lifeguard save the drowning hippie? Because he was too far out, man

Why did the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out.

Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie from drowning? He was too far out, man

I tried to sneak a quick pee in the public pool today but I think the lifeguard saw me. He blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.

Some lifeguard kicked me out of the pool for peeing in it. I told him everyone does it. He told me not off the diving board

How come the lifeguard didn’t save the hippie Because he was too far out man

I was peeing in the pool and the lifeguard blew his whistle. Scared me so bad I almost fell in.

Why was the lifeguard unable to save the hippie from drowning in the ocean? He was too *far out, man*.

Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippy? He was too far out, maan!

Why didn't the lifeguard save the drowning hippy? Because he was too far out... (dude).

Why didn't the hippie lifeguard save the drowning swimmer? 'Cause he was *too far out, man!*

I’m in Ocean Beach and a homeless man just told me this joke. Why didn’t the lifeguard save the drowning hippie?

He was too far out.

Why wasn't the lifeguard able to safe the drowning hippy? He was too far out, man.

Why didn't the lifeguard save the drowning hippy? Because he was too far out

Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too Far Out Mannn

The lifeguard at my local pool is racist... How I know?

When he said I should leave, I asked why and he said, "European in the pool!"

Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy? (hippy joke 2 of 3) cuz he was too far out man...

A lifeguard once yelled at me for peeing in a public pool. He startled me so badly I nearly fell in.

Sadly, the lifeguard couldn't save the hippie from drowning He was too far out

I had a job interview for a lifeguard position and they asked me what my biggest strength was. So I took a deep breath... Held it for four minutes and they gave me the job.