Hilarious Lonely Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Lonely Jokes

When I drink alcohol, people call me alcoholic. But when I drink fanta, no one calls me or texts me, I'm so lonely, pls help.

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I was feeling lonely, so I bought some shares. It's nice to have some company.

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I felt very lonely so I bought some stocks It's nice to have a bit of company.

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I was feeling lonely, so I bought some shares. Now I have a bit of company.

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If you ever feel lonely... just dim down the lights and put on a couple horror movies. After a while, you won't feel like you are alone anymore.

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Sometimes when I feel lonely I buy some stocks Its nice to have a bit of company

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I was lonely, so I bought some shares.. It's nice to have a bit of company.

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I was feeling very lonely the other day so I bought some stocks. It's nice to have a bit of company.

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I have a tip for all you lonely ladies on valentine's day.. Or you can just take the whole thing.

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Why was e^x so lonely at the party? Because every time he tried to integrate, he ended up with himself.

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I saw a lonely little boy sitting all by himself on a swing, so I went over and gave him a push… He still wouldn't get off, so I punched him.

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There are 27 bones in the human hand... And 28 when I'm lonely.

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How do gingers make friends? No seriously, im getting lonely.

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I was feeling very lonely so I bought some shares. It's nice to have a bit of company.

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When I drink too much alcohol I’m called an alcoholic, but when I smoke a lot of weed no one calls me...
Or texts me... or talks to me... I’m very lonely.

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I was feeling lonely I was feeling lonely so I bought some shares.

It's nice to have some company.

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If you ever feel lonely. Just dim the lights and watch a couple of horror movies. After a while, you won’t feel like you’re alone anymore.

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There are 27 bones in the human hand. 28 if I’m lonely.

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I was feeling lonely so I bought some shares. It’s nice to have a bit of company.

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How do you know archeologists are lonely? Theyre always coming up with new dating techniques.

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How many lonely guys does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But he wishes it took two.

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A fool proof way to never feel lonely. If you're ever feeling lonely, watch a horror movie. You won't feel alone anymore.

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I love to view /r/gonewild albums in reverse and watch lonely women regain their dignity.

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Boomerangs They're like frisbees, but for lonely kids

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If you ever feel lonely, watch a scary movie Then you won't feel so lonely anymore.

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I was feeling very lonely one day so I bought some stocks. It's nice to have a bit of company.

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Whos the funniest disney princess? raPUNzel

*sits there laughing to self*

...so lonely..

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Why was the whale lonely after his date? The other whale didn't humpback.

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I felt lonely, so I bought stocks. Now I got some Company.

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Why do batteries feel lonely? Because they are never included in anything.

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What kind of train eats too much? A chew chew train

**AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH**
**AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA**

omg please PM me

I'm so lonely

I need friends

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What does a lonely pepper do? Gets jalapeno business.

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Read a book about a lonely cyclops. It's called, "Me, Myself and Eye."

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I might be a lonely schizophrenic But at least we have eachother

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What do you get when you divide 69 by 2? A lonely man's handjob.

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My mum said I couldn't go out past 12. My teenage years are going to be very lonely.

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What does a ghost say after a bad joke? Booo

Hahahaha *I'm so lonely*

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What do you call a lonely south-asian man? Lone Lee

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What do you call a lonely terrorist? ISIL-ated

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New Lonely Jokes

Meanwhile in a mental institution... PATIENT: Doc, it's so lonely in here that I wrote myself a letter!

DOCTOR: Oh, what did the letter say?

PATIENT: Dunno, but it is going to arrive next week!

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This social distancing has left me feeling so lonely I ended up leaving myself a voicemail where I breathed deeply and asked myself what underwear I was wearing

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A lonely man to his phone "Siri, why am I still single?!” Siri activates front camera.

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I recently got a puppy for my 2 year old, so he doesn't feel lonely whenever I leave him out in the car during this heat.

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Did you know that if you keep on beating gold it gets harder? This is known as work gardening and it leads me to believe that Gold Finger may have been evil simply because he was lonely.

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Jokes that would make no sense to kids today. I'm so lonely that I call Time and Temperature just to hear a woman's voice.

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"Dad, why won't my magnet pick up this floppy disk?"

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What old jokes do you know that younger folks wouldn't understand?

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If you're feeling lonely tonight, don't worry. Just watch a horror movie. You won't be feeling lonely for long...

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When you have a bunch of white bugs in your hair, it’s called lice. What’s it called when you have just one? Lonely.

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Why did the lonely man buy stocks? He wanted the company

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What do fisherman do when they're lonely at sea? They cuttlefish

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What do you call a championship fisherman who is very lonely? A master baiter

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What melon will be lonely all its life? The cantaloupe 😂

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Lonely Obama What is the previous president, Mr. Barack's, go to song when he is lonely?
.
.
O-ba-ma-self..don't wanna be!

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A lonely journey is a sociopath

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I got pulled over by the police... Police: "Turn around"
Me: "Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round"
Police: "Turn around"
Me: "Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to..."

That's when I got tasered.

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Cemetry at midnight is the only place in the world where... A couple of armed robbers will scare you less than a little lonely girl in a white dress.

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A coworker has a cold so he took out a pack of Fisherman's Friend. I told that that's what I need He said "Why, do you have a cold too?"

I replied "No, just lonely."

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What do trees do when they get lonely? They pine.

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Why was the skeleton so lonely? He didn't have any body.

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Why are melons so lonely? Because they cantaloupe

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