Hilarious Map Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Map Jokes

I met the man who invented the part of a map that explains what each symbol means. What a legend.

Score: 5717

My ex girlfriend was an absolute treasure I say this because just like treasure, you'll probably need a map and a shovel to find her

EDIT: I know this is a repost but what do you expect? This is /r/jokes

Score: 1429

Score: 331

According to National Geographic, 80% of US adults could not find Ukraine on an unmarked map. They're really ahead of their time.

Score: 191

If Israel gets wiped off the map... Then we'll have to start calling it Wasrael

Score: 132

My friend explains what the symbols on a map mean. He is a legend.

Score: 132

What do you call a piece of sandpaper in Syria? A map.

Score: 110

My family is like treasure You need a map, and a shovel to find them.

Score: 105

What do you call an alligator with a map? A Navigator.

Score: 63

I’m canoeing in Sudan, not Egypt - my map must be wrong I guess I’m just in denial

Score: 60

Why do Arabs carry sandpaper everywhere? Because they need a map.

Score: 49

My family is pure treasure... ... You will need a map and a shovel to find them.

Score: 36

Next Battlefield map set in Nepal. It's made using groundbreaking technology.

Score: 33

Knock knock. Who's there?

I eat map.

I eat map who?

That's disgusting.

Score: 28

Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

I eat map.

I eat map who?

*My job here is done!*

Score: 25

Why did the cartographer get kicked out of map making club He had a bad latitude

Score: 24

What do you call sandpaper in Iraq? A map.

Score: 23

I was really disappointed when I came last in the astronomy competition, but they still gave me a map of the stars just for participating. It was a constellation prize

Score: 18

What did the neckbeard wizard use to find his way around Hogwarts? M'rauders Map

Score: 17

A commander is stationed at a military base The commander told a soldier to check their position on the map.

Solder: "Sir! We're under a tack!"

Score: 17

"Our battle plans look wonderful on the map" said the General... "It's a pity the enemy doesn't follow them."

Score: 16

What is Donald Trump's favorite Counter Strike map? de_port

Score: 15

My girlfriend has a global map tattooed on her body She may have been a difficult person to deal with. But you always knew where you were with her.

Score: 14

Day 20: Still lost at sea. Crew thinks I know how to plot a course with a compass protractor. I just like making it walk on the map. Pointy leg man

Score: 14

The founding fathers of Canada are sitting in front of a map filling in names for cities... Pierre: "I suppose the capital there should have a name, too, me."

Gaton "ought to, uh?"

Score: 13

Knock Knock? Who's there?

Eat map.

Eat map who?

NO THANKS!

Score: 12

Knock knock Knock knock

Who's there?

I smell a map.

I smell a map who?

Gross.

Score: 11

Knock, knock Who's there?

I eat map.

I eat map, who?

*Ewwwww.*

Score: 10

For my holidays last year, I threw a dart at a map of the world and decided to go to wherever it landed. I had a fantastic two weeks sat next to the skirting board.

Score: 10

What do you call someone who wears a diaper fashioned from a map? Incontinent

Score: 7

What do you call a crocodile with a map and compass ? A navigator.

Score: 7

I told my son that I went to a Sarcasm Convention. He said, "How did you find it?"

I said, "With a map."

Score: 6

Yesterday I purchased a world map...gave my wife a dart and said to her "throw this and wherever it lands, I'm taking you for a holiday". Turns out we’re spending three weeks behind the fridge.

Score: 5

I've got a map of Italy tattooed on my chest I've got really sore Naples though

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I heard President Trump is a really good COD player. Apparently he can tomahawk from across the map on command.

Score: 4

A tourist on the London Underground asked me how to get to Heathrow via Barking. So I pointed at a map and woofed...

Score: 3

The World Map has been revised; The North and South poles are where you'd expect, but... ...all the other Poles are in Britain.

Score: 3

Yo mamas glasses so thick when she looks at a map, she can see people wave

Score: 3

This guy in Japan was trying to get me to help him score some weed... ... he kept pointing at a map and going: "Toke, yo? Toke, yo?".

Score: 2

What is Trump's favorite CSGO map? de_wall

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New Map Jokes

My significant other purchased a map and handed me a dart and said “Throw this, and wherever it lands we’re taking a trip there after the pandemic ends.” Turns out we’re spending 2 weeks behind the fridge.

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Everyone in my family calls me aimless. I wanted to move away from them all to a whole new place. So took a large US map and decided to move to the place my dart hits.

I am in Brazil now.

Score: 0

What do a group of goths and a isobars on a weather map have in common? They’re both linked by their depression.

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Where do you find Djibouti on a map? North of Djilegs and south of Djiback.

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My favorite Counterg-Strike map is de_generacy By Anne m3y and H3n_Tye

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Some people asked me the way to the Bon Jovi concert They showed me their map and the hotel they came from on it. I said, "well, you're halfway there"

Score: 1

I'm trying to understand these stories about world history... but they're all over the map.

Score: 2

Do you know what an education major gets when they graduate from college in Oklahoma? A map to Texas.

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Can't find a joke that was on here... help? Was trying to find a joke about a cowboy who keeps on getting prostitutes to look at a map and the punchline is "You keep putting the chart before the whores".

Help?

Score: 2

What do you get when you put a suit of armor on a city map? A knight on the town

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Where do your eyes land first when you look at a world map? Iceland

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My beagle can draw a map of everywhere she's been. She's a car-dog-rapher

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Two cartographers, Mercator and Mollweide are sitting in a room Mercator: Your map has too much distortion!

Mollweide: Looks like you have a problem with projection...

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My Uncle saved a Crumbling Cartography business Needless to say he put them on the map.

Score: 2