Mature Jokes

I wasn't sure what to wear to my Pre-Mature Ejaculators Anonymous meeting... so I just came in my pants.

I asked my girlfriend to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect.. Then she added that I also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces.

What is the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond? The savings bond will eventually mature and earn money.

I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words and she said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect... Then she added that I also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...

Some young women are like bottles of wine They need to be tended to carefully and given time to mature, which is why I keep a few in my cellar.

A kid threw a chunk of cheddar at me today I didn't think that was very mature.

Fortunately, it wasn't sharp.

My girlfriend just asked how mature I was on a scale of 1 to 100.. ..apparently 69 was not the correct answer.

How does cheese get more mature? Fromage

I like my women like I like my wine... ...locked in a dark basement for several years until they are mature enough to enjoy.


Edit:yay made front page of the jokes!!!

I met Jeffrey Epstein once. It was only a brief interaction, but I can recall that I offered him some cheddar cheese and he didn't like it. I think it was too mature for him.

I was walking home last night and someone threw a block of cheese out the window and it hit me on the head... I turned and shouted "That wasn't very mature was it?"

On a scale from one to one hundred, how mature are you? 69.

I think Ryan Gosling is mature enough now... for us to call him Ryan Goose.

I was walking home today... ...and a group of boys in a car drove past me and threw something out the window that just narrowly missed my head, I look down to find a block of cheese on the ground, and I just thought to myself... That's not very mature.

I asked my girlfriend to describe me in 5 words. She said I’m mature, I’m moral, I’m pure, I’m polite and I’m perfect.

Then she added that I also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces.

I was walking home and someone threw a block of cheese out of their window hit me on the head I turned and shouted that wasn’t very mature was it

People keep telling me I'm mature for my age I don't really feel like I am, but I guess I must brie

So I was driving down the road one day, and somebody threw a lump of cheese at me... and I thought to myself, that's not very mature...

What's the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond? Eventually the savings bond will mature and begin to earn money.

This kid was throwing cheese at me in the supermarket last night. I thought, well that's mature.

So I was walking down the street when..... Someone threw a block of cheese at me, so I turned and said, that's not very mature!

I was walking down the street one day.. and a man threw a bit of cheese at my head, i turned to him and said; 'oh, real mature mate'.

On a scale of 1 to 100, how mature do you think you are? 69

Cheese & Milk Just as I was getting home last night a guy hit me with a block of cheese.

I thought that wasn't very mature.

He then ran over and pour milk all over my head.

I thought HOW DAIRY!!!

What is the difference between a guitar player and government bonds? Government bonds mature over time and earn money

What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.

You know you can fit 63 Earths in Uranus. I don't think I'll ever be mature enough to not laugh at that.

Somone hit me with a block of cheese yesterday I turnt arround and said 'That was mature wasn't it? '

My girlfriend this I'm very mature. But she thinks I'm incapable of being faithful. My wife, on the otherhand...

What's the difference between a bond and a teenage girl A bond will actually mature

The other day a man in the pub started throwing cheddar at me I told him 'that's not very mature'

I like my women the same way I like my cheese Mature

Calls that Roy Moore would win the election were... Pre-mature


Big shoutout to Alabama though for not becoming the joke of the whole country

I've decided to become mature and enter the dating scene. My first move is an introduction. 'Hi my name is Eric' Eric-tiledisfunction

What kind of cheese do elderly people like to eat? Mature cheddar

A girl slapped me in the face. Of course, I knew that one of us should be the mature one. And it ain’t gonna be me.

What instrument makes video games get rated M for Mature? Violins

What's the difference between a sperm and a mature sperm? One you look at through a microscope. One you look at in a mirror.

My friend threw a block of cheese at me today....... I said 'that's not very mature'