Mcdonalds Jokes

I saw a good looking guy at McDonalds spank his kid for throwing his fries on the ground. So I threw mine on the ground, too

How many McDonalds workers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, because they can't climb the ladder.

*Edit: Wasn't my joke, it was a friends but I can't credit him since I don't know his account name*

How many McDonalds workers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, because they can't climb the ladder.

I just saw a hot mom at McDonalds spank her kid after he threw his fries on the ground ...so I threw my fries on the ground too.

I woke up to find my wife lying unconscious on the kitchen floor.. At first I panicked, then remembered that McDonalds does all day breakfast.

Did you hear Burger King is promoting a black Whopper? McDonalds responded by introducing a 3/5ths pounder.

That awkward moment when That awkward moment when the woman you’re dancing behind bends over so you can grind it. But it turns out she just dropped an earring, and no one else in Mcdonalds can hear the music on your iPod.

A fat woman just served me at McDonalds... ... and said "Sorry about the wait". I replied and said "Don't worry, you'll lose it eventually".

What did the Philosophy Ph.D say to the fat black woman? Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order?

My teacher used to tell me that I'd never amount to anything. But ten years later, guess who I saw at mcdonalds? My teacher.

I served him a bic mac with no pickles even tho he wanted extra. Who's laughing now?

Shoutout to my teachers from high school who said I would work at McDonalds I have my first shift on Monday.

McDonald’s fired CEO Steve Easterbrook has already got a new job at Old McDonalds farm He's their CIEIO

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell today! Technically he said, 'Less McDonalds' but I'm pretty sure I knew what he meant.

Whats the difference between a dairy farm and a McDonalds. You’ll get arrested if you try to milk the cows at McDonalds.

What do Islamic McDonalds employees wear? A cheeseburka

I heard women love a man in uniform. Can’t wait to start working at McDonalds.

Chuck Norris went to Mcdonalds and the ice cream machine was working.

A old man walks into a McDonalds He is bent over and shuffling slowly. He approaches the counter with great difficulty and orders an ice cream sundae.

The cashier asks "Crushed nuts?"

The old man replies, "No arthritis."

I really didn’t think I was getting that fat.. Until the lady at McDonalds said “Sorry about your weight”

my doctor told me to eat more taco bell well actually he said “less mcdonalds” but i’m pretty sure i know what he meant




src: tumblr

They say the best way to lose weight is to eat naked in front of a mirror. It's working well so far, I've been banned from McDonalds for life.

A man goes to mcdonalds and orders a big mac with a large fry. The cashier says, "I'm sorry sir, we only accept cash or credit."

I went to McDonalds today... The ice cream machine was working.

I went to McDonalds the other day. I asked for two large fries but the idiot behind the counter just gave me a bunch of little ones.

What's the difference between Kim Kardashian and a homeless man who works at McDonalds? One of those greasy bums is making a lot more money.

Yo momma's so fat When she went to McDonalds they had to call Burger King for backup

What's the difference between 4-layer toilet paper and a liberal arts major? You don't find 4-layer toilet paper at McDonalds!

What do Michael Jackson and Mcdonalds have in common? They both stick their meat between 13yo buns.

Are you a McDonalds? "Why?"

Because you make my heart stop.

6 men from Lithuania go to a Mcdonalds in America The cashier asks "For here? to go?"

The guy in front turns to his friends and says :

"They say 2 of us have to leave."

John McCain and Donald Trump should run together as President/Vice President Then we would finally get a political McDonalds.

How does McDonalds get you addicted? Mcotine

McDonalds was once banned in China ..but once they saw how badly they treated their workforce they changed their minds

The best part about getting a political science degree is you will always be able to find a job! At McDonalds

Mc'Donalds in hurricanes No wonder McDonalds places are still open during hurricane sandy. None off their customers can blow away anyways

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common? Immigrants

How do you say McDonalds in Italian? Olive Garden

How are a priest and mcdonalds alike? They both stick thier meat in ten year old buns

McDonalds is releasing a new Japanese fish sandwich. It will be called The Real Mc Koi.