Contents
Contents
Dogs are the best. I have a lab. It's a meth lab. But I guard it with pit bulls.
Some people have 10 teeth, while others have 32 It's simple meth
Some people have 32 teeth. Others have 10. It's simple meth.
I'm 30 days clean now Taking a shower every day was hard, it's a good thing I had meth to get me through it
What do you get when you put 20 Meth Heads in 1 room? A full set of teeth
Some people have 32 teeth while others have 10... It's simple meth.
Even though my girlfriend is addicted to meth, I still love her. She's so beautiful. Those lips, those eyes, that tooth.
Whats the best thing about being a meth addict? Only two more sleeps until christmas.
Most people have 32 teeth, some only have 5... It's simple Meth really!
Some people have 32 teeth, some have 10. It's simple meth.
The pollen count is so high Meth users are trying to convert their meth back to Sudafed
Had to take a drug test at work today. They said they found Opiates. I told them it was probably the poppy seeds on my bagel. But then they asked about the THC, meth amphetamines, cocaine, and hallucinogens. Told them it was an everything bagel.
What has 3 teeth and 100 legs? A meth queue.
The pollen is so bad this year in Phoenix... that tweekers are turning their crystal meth back into Sudafed.
How do meth users get the money to buy their drugs? The toothfairy.
What's the best thing about being a meth addict? Only four more sleeps 'til Christmas!
What's the difference between a meth lab and a Ferrari? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage
I was never good at english...
so I did math instead.
oh, eh sorry I mean meth.
What do a redneck divorce and a burning meth lab have in common? Someone's losing a trailer.
Doctor: “the test results came back...”
“...and you’ve tested positive for opiates...”
Patient: “I ate a bagel this morning.”
Doctor: “...and meth, cocaine, marijuana, oh and you’re pregnant.”
Patient: “it was an everything bagel.”
What does a redneck divorce and a burning meth lab have in common? Someone's losing a trailer.
What's the difference between math and meth?
I do one at parties when I want to have a good time...
And the other is meth.
Tea makes everything great,even meth. Cos without T,meth is just meh.
What do you call a tweaker (meth addict) who goes to church? A Crystal Methodist.
What do you call a steam engine that transports low purity meth? Thomas the Crank Engine
Dogs are the Best Dogs are the best. I have a lab. It’s a meth lab. But I guard it with pit bulls.
Why are meth heads so excited for Christmas? It's only three sleeps away
Meth: All the energy of cocaine... ... with none of the teeth!
Mike Tyson recently recovered from a meth overdose and was interviewed upon his exit from the hospital.
When asked about the full story, he responded with,
"I was really methed up at the time"
In Florida, a couple has been accused of making meth in a public library.
Isn't that crazy? Florida has a library.
-Conan Monologue June 12, 2014
What is the number one thing white people cook better than any other race? Meth.
A meth user, An alcoholic, and a prostitute are all in a car. Who's driving? The Police.
I remember when, for weeks at a time, Mom would wake us every morning with the smell of freshly baked cookies at 3AM. And in retrospect, those cookies smelled a lot like meth.
I snorted coke and meth, smoked four blunts, and injected heroin today... ...and this guy at the auction house is STILL saying im not the highest bidder.
Heroin and meth are actually pretty similar You could say they are in the same vein.
What's the best thing about being a Meth addict? Only 3 sleeps until Christmas!
What's the difference to my newborn and a bag of meth? I would never purposely drop my bag of meth.
Why don't blondes smoke meth? They don't know what ampheta means...
What do the Cleveland Browns and a Meth addict have in common? They will both suck for 4 quarters.
What's the best part about smoking meth? Only three more sleeps till Christmas
Why do meth addicts always do it doggie style? So they can both look out the mini blinds at the same time..
How did the unlawfully arrested meth dealer make his money? Sued a Fed
What do you call a dog with only three teeth? Meth Lab.
I add braking fluid to my Meth So I can stop whenever I want.
If you're addicted to “meth”, you're either a drug addict... or a South African addicted to numbers.
When actors get drunk
To play a scene where a character is drunk it's method acting
So I'm sure breaking bad must have had plenty of meth head acting
Dumb Joke I Made When I Was 11
An egg came up to you and said: "Hi my name is Mr. Whites but you could just call me Egg". Then you said: "Hi Egg nice to beat you!". Then Egg started cracking up because the yolk was so funny.
Then he cooked meth.
I think my neighbor might be involved in some illegal activities. I heard him confess to tax evasion when I was smoking meth in his attic.
The Pollen count in the air is so high this year all the meth cooks are turning their crystal back into Sudafed
Most people in Tennessee don't think climate change is real.. But it's not really an educated opinion. Think about it, most labs here have the word meth in front of it.
What type of dog did the tweaker have? A pure bred meth lab.
Why did the driver slow down when he saw two meth heads? It was a speed trap
Why was the nun addicted to meth? Because she had a habit.
What do you call a group of IT guys that smoke meth? Geek Squad
Most people have 32 teeth, some have 10... It's simple meth.
What religious group has the biggest drug problem? meth-headists
A girl asked me if I was a good cook. "Does Meth count?" probably wasn't the answer she wanted.
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