Hilarious Microsoft Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Microsoft Jokes

Score: 1916

Microsoft is working on software for self-driving vehicles. I can't wait until my car suddenly stops in the middle of the highway and reboots to install updates.

Score: 1860

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you.. You have my Word.

Score: 1813

Whoever stole my Microsoft Office, I'm coming after you... You have my word

Score: 1528

Who ever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in trouble. You have my Word.

Score: 1267

Today I discovered someone had stolen my activation for Microsoft Office... I don't know who you but I will find you, you have my word.

Score: 830

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office... ..I will find you. You have my Word.

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Edit: 1000 upvotes. Of course it would be on a self post. :( Thanks though. <3

Score: 651

What did microsoft say to the attractive girl in the room? Can I crash at your place tonight?

Score: 488

If Microsoft ever makes a product that doesn't suck... ...it'll be a vacuum!

Score: 427

To whoever stole my Microsoft office, I will find you. You have my word

Score: 419

I just found out Microsoft bought Skype for 8.5 billion dollars. Idiots...they should have just downloaded it.

Score: 307

Whoever stole my Microsoft Office, I will find you... You have my Word.

Score: 271

I went to bed with a 7 and woke up with a 10. Forced upgrades should be illegal, Microsoft.

Score: 194

To whomever stole my Microsoft Office: I will find you. You have my Word.

Score: 160

To the person who stole my Microsoft Office Account... I will find you. You have my word.

Score: 159

What's the opposite of Microsoft Office? Macrohard Onfire.

Score: 127

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will hunt you and I will find you You have my word.

Score: 117

Someone Stole My Microsoft Office and They're Going To Pay For It, You Have My Word.

Score: 108

If you were to write a direct, very short introduction for Microsoft Office's word processor, it might be a... ...forward four-word foreword for Word.

Score: 107

Someone stole my Microsoft office from my laptop. I will find you and I will get you. You have my Word.

Score: 100

A man in a job interview. Interviewer: "This job requires you to know Powerpoint, how skilled are you with the program"

Man: "Well, I Excel in Powerpoint"

Interviewer: "Did you just make a Microsoft Office pun?"

Man: "Word."

Score: 94

If Microsoft ever makes a product that doesn't suck... it will be a vacuum cleaner.

Score: 91

Someone stole my copy of Microsoft office.. I will track you down, you have my word.

Score: 76

Microsoft Boss : How good are you at making spreadsheet?

Me : I excel at it

Boss : Was that a Microsoft office pun?

Me : word

Score: 76

Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, you will pay. You have my Word.

Score: 75

Why is Microsoft so bad at writing music? Because they can only use OneNote!

Score: 75

To the person that stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you and kill you. You have my Word.

Score: 70

I thought Bill Gates would cave and release the new Microsoft Office early. But he kept his Word.

Score: 67

To the guy who stole my Microsoft Office License. Im gonna find you. You have my Word.

Score: 64

How many Sony and Microsoft fanboys does it take to turn on a lightbulb? I don't know. They won't go near the Switch.

Score: 62

Microsoft Edge is a big improvement over IE... It downloads Chrome twice as fast!

Score: 62

Did you hear that Microsoft is giving away Office to parents? Word to your mother.

Score: 51

When Microsoft and Apple ship faulty products Microsoft: We will fix that faulty battery timer through a software update. *never fixes it though*

Apple: *quietly removes the battery timer*

Score: 50

To the man who stole my Microsoft Office, I'm going to find you..... ....you have my WORD.

Score: 35

To the software thieves who robbed me last night. Don't think you can get away with taking Microsoft Office away from me. I will find you. You have my Word.

Score: 33

To whomever stole my copy of Microsoft Word... I will find you. You have my Word.

Score: 25

This happened at a meeting with my boss: Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?

Me: I Excel at it!

Boss: Was that a Microsoft Office pun?

Me: Word.

Score: 24

Boss: How good are you with spreadsheets? Me: I Excel at it.

Boss: Did you just make a Microsoft Office pun?

Me: Word

Score: 19

I got kicked out of Microsoft store ... I was merely scratching the Surface ...

Score: 9

To the person who stole my authentic and original copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you and I will kill you You have my word.

Score: 7

New Microsoft Jokes

What do an incel and microsoft excel have in common? Both incorrectly assume something is a date.

Score: 2

Why did Coronavirus force Microsoft to close their stores? Research suggests it can live for three days on surfaces.

Score: 0

To the person i stole Microsoft Office from, I have your word, that I Excel at theft.

Score: 0

I downloaded the new 8 ball add-on for Microsoft Office Now my Outlook’s not so good

Score: 1

Who ever stole my microsoft office disk, I will find you... You have my word

Score: 4

I'm seeding a torrent for office.. .. hopefully Microsoft don't get mad at me for spreading the word

Score: 2

I heard Microsoft made taking a screenshot much harder I guess you could call it a windowpane.

Score: 3

To whoever stole my Microsoft Office 2016, I will find you. You have my Word.

Score: 6

Why should Microsoft hire a spider? Because it would be a good web builder.

Score: 3

I've had a long think about it and I'm going to create a competing company to Microsoft Microhard

Score: 1

What did Rihanna say when she was on Microsoft Tech Support for 12 hours? I’m insane at the sound of Microsoft

Score: 1

Dear whoever stole my disk copy of Microsoft Office. I will find you, you have my word.

Score: 3

A dark joke with the subject being erectile disfunction? Microsoft Edge.

Score: 3

I lost my Microsoft office i will find it

you have My Word

Score: 1

Why did Microsoft named its software Windows? It's founder had enough Gates.

Score: 2

A Mexican magician works on Microsoft Windows Uno, and *poof*, DOS is gone without a tres.

Score: 1

Did you hear Microsoft has improved the startup time of their Canadian tablets? Aboot time, eh?

Score: 1

Everyone would blame Microsoft... ...but looks like Apple can't count either.

Score: 1

Mike Row lost his erection Now he's Microsoft

Score: 0

Microsoft's designated Chauffeur was killed in a car accident. Unfortunately he was to blame for it...
Now, the company needs a driver update.

Score: 2

Where do Microsoft employees go to get drunk? The taskbar

Score: 2

Nintendo: surely you can't come up with a worse name than Wii U Microsoft: hold my beer

Score: 3

The XBox One X is Microsoft's new console The short of that is XBOX, they've now come full circle, or 360.

Score: 4

You stole my Microsoft Office and for that you’re going to pay. -
You have my Word!

Score: 7

When will Microsoft release another music player? Zuner than later.

Score: 2

Why did Microsoft skip to Windows 10? Because Windows 7 ate 9.

Score: 1

I don't really appreciate jokes about Microsoft's new browser. They're too Edgy for me.

Score: 1

Why did Microsoft not make Windows 9? Because seven eight nine.

Score: 2

To the person who stole my Microsoft Office You will pay. You have my Word.

Score: 5

What browser do Linkin Park use? Microsoft Edge

Score: 5

Microsoft Word is like my girlfriend... ...When I tell her to ignore something, she can't let it go.

Score: 2

What software do fat people like to use? Microsoft XL

Score: 2

What is it called when Bill Gates breathes out? Microsoft Exhale

Score: 4

A way to get tons of people in a Microsoft Word party is to Calibri (Body)

Score: 4

You stole my Microsoft office... For that you will pay, you have my word.

Score: 6

A Microsoft Dev walks into a room.... Bethesda is working on Skyrim remastered 4k edition for the new xbox.

Microsoft Dev "Woah that screenshot looks cool"

Bethesda Worker: "That's not a screenshot, it's...it's the game"

Score: 5

With all these self-driving cars being tested... Microsoft decided to get into the mix with a self-driving car of their own. Recently the car encountered a severe storm in which case the only damage it encountered was...broken Windows.

Score: 1

Did you hear about Microsoft buying Minecraft for several million dollars? If only they realised that Minecraft cost 30$.

Score: 1