Model Jokes

I built a 1:1000000 model of a German submarine. It’s a pretty good µ-boat.

I made a 1:1000 000 scale model german submarine it's a pretty good μ-boat

What's the difference between Chris Brown and a Tesla Model S? The Tesla gets fewer battery charges in a year

Not to brag, but I just got a job as a fitness model... They hired me as the "before" picture.

I'm 45 and have the body of a 25 year old model! She's in my basement, any suggestions?

if i were a runway model... my signature move would be to get to the end of the runway, then pat my pockets and look puzzled like i forget something, so i would have a plausible excuse to turn around and walk right back where i had just come from

I have the body of a 20 year old model, But it takes up too much room in my freezer.

Mr. Zuckerberg how do you sustain a business model in which users don’t pay for your services? Zuckerberg: “1010011010”.......Ahem

Zuckerberg: “Senator, we run ads”

Trump's ego is so big... Trump's ego is so big that when he bangs a super-model, he closes his eyes and imagines he's jerking off.

-Seth Macfarlane, CC Roast of Trump

Arrested at the airport I’m a car salesman going to New York for the unveiling of the new Porsche 911 model

When i landed in New York the TSA asked me “are you here for business or pleasure”
I responded “I’m here for the new 911”

I was asked to be a hand model I don't know why my parents looked weird at me, when I told them I got $100 for a hand job.

Trump has left the historical Paris Climate Accord in which countries around the world agreed to fight global warming... It was the first time he pulled out of a working model.

I'm 45 and have the body of a 25 year old model She's in my basement. What do I do?

I don’t care what anyone says about Neymar faking hurt he’s still my roll model!

Did you hear that Apple is coming out with YET ANOTHER new iPhone model? Critics are calling it the iPhone Xs.

(Edit: I hate to put this here but: pronounced like “Excess”)

Had to quit my job as an underwear model because the photographer kept telling me, "I'm just a cashier" and that I "need to leave Macy's."

my friend has a model fish collection they are all to scale

Soon enough, Apple will make the brilliant move of following a big trend in the gaming industry... ..."remastering" the ORIGINAL iPhone rather than releasing a new model.

What would the Pilsbury Doughboy be if photos of him were constantly being put on magazine covers? A roll model.

I like my women as I like my pre-expansion universes So hot and dense that it violates the Pauli exclusion principle and demands a better understanding of the standard model

I have the body of a 22 years old model! WHERE SHOULD I HIDE IT? QUICK GUYS THE POLICE ARE AFTER ME

I have the body of a 22-year-old model He's in my freezer, and now I have no room for my ice cream.

Picabo Street is a former World Cup alpine ski racer and model. When she was inducted into the National Ski Hall of Fame in 2004, her home town of Triumph, Idaho dedicated an entire wing of the local hospital to her. It's called the Picabo ICU.

I have the body of a 20 year old model... Unfortunately it won't fit in my freezer.

What do you call a super model with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese

Did you hear about the model who thought she was going to a beauty pageant? Turns out it was a kidnapping. She was Miss Taken

Did you hear about the mannequin given a key to the city? He was a model citizen.

What do you call a wannabe model? A poser!

I’ve always looked up to the Pillsbury doughboy. You could say he’s my roll model.

A vacuum cleaner company removed their latest model from stores a week after launch, All user reviews said that it sucked.

What do you call a cow with no legs? A PETA advertising model.

Stephen Hawking is a terrible role model for our kids. He only looks one way when crossing the street

It's disgusting to judge someone just by their looks. Let's just say I didn't win at the model competition.

What do you call a male blonde model who lives on the streets of New Jersey? Hoboken

I had a "pay what you want" model for my joke store. It had a revenue of $0.00.


Guess the jokes just didn't make any cents.

What was Obama's foreign policy like? It was the very model of a modern multilateral.

My GF can't stand that I'm a model Prisoner

I think the wife's got me a build-it-yourself scale model... I think the wife's got me a build-it-yourself scale model of a horse for my birthday next month.

I've just found a big piece of it hidden in her bedside drawer.

Elon Musk is coming out with a new Tesla model The Model Ex... it's going to be the most expensive Telsa to date.