Hilarious Monk Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Monk Jokes

A hungry traveler stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where a brother was frying chips... "Are you the friar?" he asked.

The brother replied "No. I'm the chip monk."

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What does a Christmas tree and a monk have in common? They both have ornamental balls

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A wise Chinese monk once said, "If the dog barks... it's not cooked well enough."

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What did the Buddhist monk say when asked to leave his temple? 'Nah imma stay.'

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What do you call a Buddhist monk who meditates in the snow? Fro-zen.

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What do you call a monk who walks everywhere in bare feet, has poor bone density and really bad breath? A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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Why did the monk not get into the monastery? Because he lost his monkeys.

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Two priests decided to open a Fish and Chip shop... ... One was a Fish Friar, the other was a Chip Monk.

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Hear the one about the Buddhist monk who *almost* achieved total spiritual enlightenment? He only made it to Nearvana.

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A man went to a fish and chip lunch organised by the local monastery... He strolls up to one guy serving, and with a big grin, asks "Are you the fish friar?"

The guy responds "No, I'm the chip monk!"

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What do you you say when a monk tries to kick you out of the monastery ? Namaste

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I always wanted to be a Gregorian monk... ...but I never got the chants.

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A Buddhist monk approaches a hot dog stand... and says, "Make me one with everything."

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What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

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Never buy flowers from a monk Only YOU can prevent florist friars

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I once visited a monastery and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips... I asked him, "Are you the friar?"

He said, "No, I'm the chip monk.."

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Wanted: Buddhist Monk Enquire within.

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How many Buddhist monks does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. But its a long process where the monk keeps telling the bulb that change must come from within, until the bulb becomes enlightened.

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A disciple asked, “Master, is it okay for a monk to use emails?” “Yes, son,” the guru quipped, “as long as there are no attachments.”

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A Buddhist Monk visits a hot dog stand in New York and says "make me one with everything".

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Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who swallowed a Glock 18? He calls it his inner piece

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A Buddhist Monk walks up to a hotdog stand. "make me one with everything"

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Why did the Buddhist monk refuse Novocaine? Because he wanted to *transcend dental* medication.

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What does a Buddhist monk say when ordering a subway sandwich? *Make me one with everything*

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Why did the monk go to the casino? Tibet

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What the difference between playing a piano and dropping a piano? One sounds like Thelonius Monk, and the other sounds like a melodious "thunk!".

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Why didn't the monk sell his temple? *Because it had no monastery value.*

Thought of this one on my own while playing WoW a couple days ago and I'm pretty sure it hasn't been told before. I like corny jokes. I Googled it and didn't find anything (:

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Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who refused anesthesia for his root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

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What's the most fun a monk can have? Nun

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What did the monk say to the pizza clerk? Make me one with everything

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A monk refused to use anesthesia during a root canal... Apparently he wanted to transcend dental medication.

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A monk once explained me the beauty of silence . I went home and listened to a blank cd on full volume.

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A Buddhist monk walks into a cafeteria "Good morning Sir what would you like in your sandwich?"

"Make me one with everything"

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What did the monk order from the hotdog stand? One with everything

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What did the Buddhist Monk ask for when he walked into the Subway? One with everything.

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What did the Spanish Monk say to break up with his girlfriend? No mas stay.

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My drug dealer became a monk so that nobody would suspect him... I always knew the best coke was in the convents.

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Our local monastery has opened a fast food outlet. I went in and said to the guy "Hi, are you the deep fat friar?"

He said "No, I'm the chip monk."

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What did the Buddhist monk say when he approached the hotdog stand? Make me one with everything.

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New Monk Jokes

What do you call a monk who got job in McDonald's? A deep fat friar.

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Why did the monk refuse Codine at the dentist? Because he wanted to transcend dental medication.

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What do you call a monk who got rid of his habit to start a bed and breakfast? Ex Benedict.

(You may have to say it out loud)

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What did the monk use to make fried chicken? A deep friar.

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A Buddhist monk orders a hot dog A Buddhist monk orders a hot dog and gives the vendor a 20 dollar bill. After eating the hot dog he is still waiting and asks the vendor for his change. The vendor replied, "Change only comes from within."

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Why didn't the gorilla join the Buddhist temple? It was too monk-y.

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Did you hear about the Monk that killed 75% of the workers at the Tavern? He left them a Quarterstaff.

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A Monk walks into a bar The bartender asked "What do you want to have?"

The monk replied "Make me one with Everything"

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What did the monk say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

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A monk to another, "O! master, is it proper for a monk to use email?" "Sure, as long as there are no attachments", replied the other.

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A Buddhist monk was on the streets of New York and he stopped at a hotdog stand. The vendor asks, "what would you like on it?" to which he replied,"Make me one with everything".

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