Hilarious Movie Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Movie Jokes

My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out the movie theatre

Score: 23830

Husband doing crossword with his wife Husband: Emphatic no, five letters.

Wife: Never

H: Pistol, 3 letters.

W: Gun

H: Disgust, 3 letters.

W: Ugh

H: Charity, 4 letters.

W: Give

H: Female sheep, 3 letters

W: Ewe

H: Pixar movie, 2 letters

W: Up

Score: 21999

Given that a radiator is essentially a vital organ to a car, it's strange that the town in the movie Cars is called "Radiator Springs." It would be like if we called a city "Liver Pool."

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Have you seen the new Exorcist movie? This time it’s the devil trying to get the priest out of the child.

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Last night a movie theater was robbed of over $1000 dollars. The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, two large sodas and a pack of Skittles.

Score: 8010

My local movie theater was robbed of almost $10,000 The thieves got away with three boxes of popcorn, two large sodas, three boxes of candy and a hotdog.

Score: 7836

"Dead or alive, you're coming with me." Great movie quote, terrible pickup line…

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A guy was screaming at the TV “Run idiot, run!” His wife walked in and asked “Are you watching a horror movie?”. He said “No. It’s our wedding tape”

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A woman was arrested for bringing her own popcorn, candy, and soda to the movie theater. She was fined and had to pay court fees, but the good news is she still came out a few bucks ahead from if she would have bought the popcorn at the theater.

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What is Samsung CEO's favorite movie Total recall

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An attractive woman asked me if I wanted to see a movie yesterday. She said what would you like to see.
I said you pick.
She said you pick.
I said I don't care you pick.
She said, Sir there are other people waiting in line to buy tickets.

Score: 1954

Shame about the Tesla driver that crashed while watching a movie. He should've watched the trailer.

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I just watched a movie about a y=x graph The plot was a bit predictable

And a little flat

Good special f(x) though

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Why is Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie? It's a perfect 5/7.

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Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Disney collection... Except Up.
He’s never gonna give you Up.

Score: 1237

A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie. First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.

Score: 1093

George Clooney, Leonardo Dicaprio and Matthew Mcconaughey got together to make a movie...... George Clooney said "I'll direct"

Dicaprio said "I'll produce"

and Matthew McConaughey said "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write"

Score: 1040

Peter Mayhew will be reprising his role as Chewbacca in the next Star Wars movie! They said they wanted to cast the role to a veteran rather than a wookiee.

Score: 919

I've calculated the name for the next Fast & Furious movie... Fast 10: Your Seatbelts

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Yesterday, a beautiful girl asked me if I wanted to see a movie. She asked, “What would you like to see?” I said, “You pick.”

She said, “You pick.”

I said, “I don’t care. You pick.”

She said, “Sir, there are people behind you waiting to buy tickets.”

Score: 847

Why is everyone obsessed with that new horror movie? Like, i was driving today and this is the third time someone has rolled down their window and yelled to me: Hey! Watch It!

Score: 794

Why was the Jazz movie rated R Too much sax and violins

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I just finished a documentary on beavers Best dam movie I've ever seen.

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TIL that Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one. He's never gonna give you Up

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Breaking News: A movie theatre has just been robbed of over two thousand dollars The theives took a large soda and two bags of popcorn

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I downloaded all the music to the movie Titanic. It's syncing now.

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In the movie 'The Hunt for Red October' ... the entire story is the sub-plot.

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A local movie theatre was robbed of $600 worth of merchandise The suspects stole 3 medium popcorns, 1 bag of skittles and 4 small diet cokes.

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In a movie theater crowd watches a movie. During funny moments only one person laughs. Confusingly, he turns around and explains: "Sorry, I haven't seen the trailer."

Score: 436

I have a Spotify playlist that has songs from The Peanuts Movie, Eminem, and The Cranberries I call it my trail mix.

Score: 388

So they just announced the title to the tenth fast and furious movie.. Fast10: Your Seatbelts.

Score: 339

So, I just tried a new drinking game. I put in the Bee Movie, and every time they make a bee pun, I take a shot.

Unfortunately, I could only get buzzed.

Score: 278

TIL the movie Starship Troopers was never adapted into a successful video game because... ...bugs.

Score: 176

They're finally making a movie about clocks. It's about time

Score: 163

Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Disney collection, except one. He's never gonna give you Up.

Score: 139

New fast and the Furious movie should be called... 'Fast 10: Your Seat belts' Source: Wife's Facebook... made me chuckle.

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The movie 'Up' is utter bullshit. I tied 57,000 balloons to my house & my wife didn't die.

Score: 89

I stole a Tom Cruise movie from the store the other day... It was Risky Business.

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Casting Dwayne Johnson in a movie is a bold decision... Casting The Rock is a boulder decision.

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New Movie Jokes

What movie was produced by Elon Musk? Madatgascar

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Did you hear Louis CK's new movie is cancelled? You still might find him coming soon in a theater near you.

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Did you guys hear about the new Minecraft movie coming out? I heard it's going to be a blockbuster

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They should make another Taken movie about Liam Neeson being underappreciated for keeping his family safe It should be called Taken 4: Granted

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I finally watched that movie about the Psycho clown that destroyed the lives of innocent children. Halfway into it I realised it was just a string of old McDonald's Ads.

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Rick Astley will let your borrow any movie from his Pixar collection except for one... ... he's never gonna give you Up.

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I really hope the new 'It' movie is as good as the original.. Because those are some big shoes to fill.

Score: 20

So I heard the new Iphone is gonna have that new Stephen King movie preloaded onto it. Yeah. X is gonna give IT to ya.

Score: 52

Has anyone seen the movie Constipated? Wait, it's not out yet.

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Have you heard of the new movie "Constipation"? It hasn't come out yet. (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

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Arrrgghhh... My Retinas Are on Fire I just saw The Emoji Movie.

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I like to hold my breath whenever a character goes underwater in a movie. That way I know if I'd survive if I were that character. I was rushed to the E.R after Finding Nemo

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You know you are getting old when a bunch of annoying teenagers get murdered in a horror movie and you relate more with the killer.

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I just saw a movie with Jonah hill and Michael cera. I would not recommend. It was Superbad

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I Said to this girl I like that I had two tickets for a movie She told me to watch it twice.

Score: 33

Sometimes whenever I watch an underwater scene in a movie I try to hold my breath as long as the characters do to see if I'd survive in that situation. I almost died watching Finding Nemo.

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What should the tenth fast and furious movie be called? Fast 10: Your Seatbelts.

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Researchers used CRISPR to encode a movie onto DNA Time to create some viral memes

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I wanted to see the movie about constipation... ....But it never came out

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I made a movie about farm life… …but the film quality was too grainy and the plot too corny…

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Titantic is the 2nd highest grossing movie in Japan. Guess since they couldn't sink Pearl Harbor, they went for the next best thing.

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What's a bodybuilder's favorite movie? Fifty Shakes of Whey.

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Why couldn't the pirate see the movie?! the uploader forgot to take the lens-cap off after the movie started

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Heard Caitlyn Jenner wants to be in a superhero movie. I think she'll either be an X-Men or Transformers

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Did you hear about ISIS' most recent movie? It was perfectly executed.

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Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Disney collection apart from one. He's never gonna give you Up.

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Wonder Woman would have been a much better movie without all the product placement. 2 and a half hours of Amazon this and Amazon that... sheesh.

Score: 45

Why Has no one seen the movie "In The Closet?" It hasn't come out yet

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Had to stop following Business Insider for the headline: "Amy Schumer's new comedy movie is shockingly awful" I can't trust anybody who finds that shocking.

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What do you call a movie about a family haunted by a Turkey? Poultrygeist.

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If you've heard of Post Malone maybe you've heard of Ho Malone It's this classic movie about a young boy who gets left behind by his family at Christmas and has to defend his house from burglars.

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What's a police officer's favorite Star Wars movie? The Empire Strikes Blacks

Score: 41

What's an oranges' favorite movie? Pulp Fiction.

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I took my girlfriend to see a movie about an old guy flying his house around on balloons. It was an up-date.

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Girl, are you a 3D movie? Because you're too expensive and giving me a headache.

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What is Donald Trump's favorite movie? From Russia with Love.

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Have you seen that old Nick Cage movie about United Airlines? Con Air.

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Did you see the movie about graphing? It didn't have a good plot.

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If you ask a cop what their favorite movie is they have to tell you. Otherwise it's Entrapment (1999).

Edit: credit for this joke goes to /u/FurbyFubar, and /u/AllDaveAllDay for believing in me

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Did you hear about that movie they were making called "Constipation"? It never came out

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What is Bane's favorite movie? Broke-back Mountain

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Yesterday I watched the movie Carrrs. Well, it was just Cars, but I pirated it.

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In 15 days, a man with questionable hair and direction will be watched by millions as he takes control of a terrfied group of people who don't know how much they can trust him. But enough about M. Night Shyamalan's new movie Split.

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Did you watch the movie constipation? It never came out.

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What do you call a movie about artificial orange juice? Pulp Fiction

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Election Day was the perfect day to go see Doctor Strange... I got to experience a scary bizarro world were sanity was cast aside and the laws of nature were twisted to the breaking point, and I also went to a movie.

Score: 43

What is Trump's favorite animated movie? WALL-E

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Why is Bear Grylls a good friend to take to the movie theater? He sneaks his own drinks in.

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Bill Cosby was actually gonna be in a Marvel movie He was gonna play Sandman.

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Did you hear Donald Trump was in a fantasy action movie? He was the White Power ranger

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Whats the worst thing about the new Assassin's Creed movie? You have to sign in to U-play to watch it.

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Rick astley will let you borrow any movie from his collection of Pixar films except one. He's never going to give you Up.

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Have you seen this new movie? Heard this one from my 10 year old cousin.

Him: "Have you seen the new movie about constipation yet?"

Me: "No..."

Him: "It hasn't come out yet. But people are pushing for its release!"

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I just heard that there's going to be a Minecraft movie… …it's gonna be a blockbuster.

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I saw a movie trailer about 30 trapped chillean miners... Apparently Jared from subway had a stash...

(I'm so sorry about this, I just thought of it and needed to get it out)

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Whenever I see an underwater scene in a movie, I hold my breath Almost died in Finding Nemo

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Did you hear Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner is going to be in a new movie? EXmen

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My friend who worked at a movie theater died yesterday. Funeral services are being held at 3:20, 5:15, 7:50 and 9:10.

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Did you hear about the new tractor movie? I heard it has a good trailer.

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What's Lil Wayne's Favorite French Movie? AMELIE AMELIE AMELIE AMELIE AMELIE AMELIE AMELIE AMELIE AMELIE AMELIE

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