Museum Jokes

Vandals have attacked the National Origami Museum in Tokyo... We'll keep you updated as the story unfolds...

I’m a tour guide at a museum, and when I told a group that the fossil they were looking at was 65 million years and 3 weeks old, they asked me where the 3 weeks came from. I said well it was 65 millions years old when I was hired here, and that was 3 weeks ago.

Why did the console gamer get a headache at the art museum? Too many frames.

My ex-girlfriend is standing at the opposite end of the museum from me! I want to go say hi but there's just so much history between us.

I spotted my ex girlfriend on the other side of the museum hall, but I was too self-conscious to go say hello. There was just too much history between us.

I looked across the museum hall and spotted my ex girlfriend, but I was too self conscious to say hello. There was just too much history between us.

I just went to the Air & Space museum. Man do I feel ripped off. It was just an empty room.

I just went to the Air & Space museum. Boy do I feel ripped off. It was just an empty room.

I just got fired from my job in Museum They said they're not happy with my work here, which is ridiculous, i only worked here for 2 days and already sold 2 picassos.

I was at the museum recently. I asked a worker there if I was allowed to take pictures.

He said no, they had to stay on the walls.

A children's museum SOUNDS like a good idea... ...but I would imagine it's hard to breathe inside those little glass cases.

The great thing about the Alzheimers museum is... No matter how many times you go, it always seems new.

I was at the museum the other day and saw my ex at the other end of the room I was about to say hi but there is too much history between us

I almost accepted a job as a museum historian but then I realized there's no future in it.

Why did the console player faint at the museum? Because there were so many frames!

I found out my ex girlfriend was at the opposite end of the museum as me today. I wanted to go say hi to her but there was just too much history between us.

A self-absorbed man wants to get his bust sculpted. He believes that one day he'll be very important, so he asks a sculptor to carve his bust out of marble to put into a museum in the future.

The sculptor says, "Sir, I think you're getting a head of yourself."

Vandals have attacked the National Origami Museum in Tokyo... We’ll keep you updated as the story unfolds...

Went to the Air and Space museum today. There was nothing there.

A local museum today received a substantial donation of French Impressionist and Eastern European artwork. They're gettin' Monet for nothing and Czechs for free.

I went to the Air and Space Museum It wasn't as empty as I thought it'd be.

What do you get when you empty the Smithsonian? The Air and Space museum.

Air and Space Museum So a 5 year old boy is walking around in the air and space museum, but he doesn't seem to be having a good time. Naturally, his mom asks him what's bothering him, and he responds: "Mom, it's just too boeing."

I went to the Air and Space Museum... It was an empty building.

An art museum robber is caught when he tries to get away.... A reporter asks him what went wrong with the robbery. He answers " I didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.

What's the point of having Hellen Keller's house turned into a museum? If she never saw it why should I?

I went to a space museum today but was a bit disappointed... It was completely empty! Well, except for the black hole on display, but it sucked.

I took my son to the space museum last weekend. They charged us $5.50 to stand in an empty warehouse.

I went to the Space and Air Museum in Indiana... I paid $20 just to see an empty warehouse.

Between my friends, museum is code word for Strip Clubs... ... because NO TOUCHING!!

I went to the JFK memorial museum and got to simulate his assassination in VR It was mind blowing

City council wanted to demolish the local clown museum. They couldn't because it's a hysterical landmark.

My friend hates his job at the art museum. He only does it for the Monet.

Why did the museum go out of business? They were out of Monet.

The Auschwitz-Birkenau Museum released a PSA that visitors were not allowed to play Pokemon GO! Because they didn't want people pretending to be Ash

I was going to write something about Madame Tussauds Museum. But I don't want to wax poetic.

I tried to visit the contraceptive museum But they wouldn't let me come inside.

Dang girl are you the Cross of Coronado? Because you belong in a museum ;)

I was a little disappointed when I went to the space museum today... It was completely empty.