Nature Jokes

I'm definitely the loser if I run over a deer. It's going to cost me hundreds of dollars. But nature is only out a buck.

So what are you in to ? \- I stalk people.

\- Oh really ? Well, I like nature and running.

\- I know.

"Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" Probably photos, reflective surfaces, things of that nature.

Frankenstein enters a bodybuilding contest When he gets there, he realizes he seriously misunderstood the nature of the contest

When does soil get rich? When mother nature makes it rain.

Election Day was the perfect day to go see Doctor Strange... I got to experience a scary bizarro world were sanity was cast aside and the laws of nature were twisted to the breaking point, and I also went to a movie.

why don't programmers like nature? because it has too many bugs

Why don't programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.

A guy shoots a random man on the street. Cop: "Did you kill this man?"
Guy: "No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."

My hairline is like the French Army... It's been ordered not to retreat, but nature is taking its course anyway

Two blonde girls at a traffic light They stop at red:

-Look at that red color!

-Wow, it's beautiful.

-And the yellow!

-Such brightness!

-And the green!

-Much nature!

-Oh, it's red again, we saw it already. Let's go.

NASA decides to send up an all-female crew for their next shuttle mission... "Houston, we have a problem."

"What's the problem?"

"Nothing. Nevermind."

"Repeat, what is the nature of the problem?"

"It's fine, whatever."

Nature is so resourceful It can make dew with just water

The most heinous crime--against both Man and Nature--would be to plant dynamite inside cattle That, my friends, would be a-bomb-in-a-bull...

Steve Irwin died as he lived... With nature in his heart

Did you hear about the boy who was good at calculus? To him, finding tangents was secant nature.

How to use religion to your advantage 1. Claim divine visitation of some nature
2. ???
3. Prophet

Why do programmers and coders hate nature? It has too many bugs.

How does mother nature give birth? With a sea-section

I have a good nature joke But after listening to it, everyone just leaves

I guess Mother Nature watches a lot of Oprah. Because it looks like everybody gets a hurricane.

I think my dad wants me to be more at one with nature. He keeps driving me way out into the woods and leaving me there.

Shouldn‘t we just merge two subs of the same nature with similar content? r/recycling members would be delighted by the efficiency over here

Hitting a deer with your car is always an unfair trade. You're out the cost of the insurance deductible, but nature is only out a buck.

I like my women like.... I was going to submit a joke of this nature, but I thought it would be better if we just had an umbrella thread where everyone could throw in a joke (and we wouldn't wipe out the whole front page of /r/jokes).

How do you like your women? Go!

Weather man "it's impossible to have every season all in one week" Mother Nature: "Hold my beer"

Some lions just escaped a nature reserve in South Africa They were rejected from their group.
They could maybe ask to be let in the group again
But their pride wouldn't let them.

Cop: "Did you kill this man?" Me: "No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."

Erectile Dysfunction Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".

My life is like a Nature Valley Granola bar It keeps crumbling apart

The nature of jokes is that they are recycled just like your mom

In the middle of a very important Overwatch meeting, Reinhardt abruptly gets up and leaves Another member asks him where he's going.

"I have been called. I must answer. Always."

"Who called?"

"Nature."

A man meets a stalker in the streets. Man - What are you into?

Stalker - I stalk people.

Man - Really? Well, I like-

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Stalker - Nature and running, I know.

Clocks have a dual nature... On one hand, they move slowly. On the other hand, they move pretty fast.

Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'

Movies appeal to either dog people or cat people. For example the Hunger Games has more of a feline nature. There's a certain cat-ness to it.

It would be bad for earth when there were no humans. There wouldn’t be any nature conservation.

I called customer service when my Dyson broke And they said sorry, nature abhors a vacuum.

I stepped outside the other day and saw a butterfly wrapped in a cocoon. This morning when I went out it had turned into a spider. Nature is amazing.