Hilarious Octopus Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Octopus Jokes

What do you get when you cross a cow and an octopus? A reprimand from the Scientific Ethics and Integrity Committee and an immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.

Score: 2188

What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus? A visit from the Scientific Professional Ethics Committee and immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.

Score: 763

Score: 163

What do you get when you cross a cat and an octopus? A strong reprimand from the ethics committee and immediate recission of all funding.

Score: 104

What do you get when you cross an Octopus and a Cow A very stern letter from the Scientific Ethics Committee and immediate removal of your grant funding

Score: 85

How do you make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

Score: 81

What do you get when you cross an octopus and a lion? A stern rebuke from the ethics committee and an immediate withdrawal of funds.

Score: 81

What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus? Your funding revoked by the ethics board.

Score: 76

What do you get when you cross a duck with an octopus? Fired and blacklisted from the genetics industry.

Score: 73

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus ink Tentickles

Score: 72

Interviewer: So what makes you think you’d be a good waiter here? Octopus: I just really feel like I could bring a lot to the table.

Score: 68

What do you get when you cross a Cow with and Octopus? A Visit from the ethics committee, and immediate withdrawal of your funding.

Score: 63

Octopus: [holding a gun in each hand] Cat: you're one short pal

Score: 57

How did the octopus go to the war? Well armed...

Score: 51

(All credit goes to my 4 year old niece) How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Tentickles!

Score: 46

What did the octopus say when he found out his wife had 10 tentacles? You've got to be squidding me! (I spent a whole day making that up for my wife)

Score: 45

How many tickles does it take to make the octopus laugh? Ten tickles.

Score: 44

How many tickles does it take to make a male octopus laugh? Eleven.

It's usually ten-tickles, but an extra one is counted for the test-tickle

Score: 41

Courtesy of my 7yo daughter: What do you get when you cross a cow and an octopus? A call from the ethics department and the immediate revocation of your grant funding!

Score: 39

why did the octopus defeat the shark? because it was well armed.

Score: 37

How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten-tickles!

Courtesy of Ben Morehead of the Goulet Pen team.

Score: 36

An octopus went off to war It's a good thing that he was well-armed.

Score: 33

octopus: [gun in each hand] cat: you’re one short buddy

Score: 32

Who would win a fight between an octopus and a shark? The octopus because it is well armed.

Score: 31

What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus? Reprimand from the university ethics board and immediate withdrawal of all research grants.

Score: 31

What do you call an octopus that fights sharks? An octobrave.

I'm sorry.

Score: 31

Octopus : [holding a gun in each hand] Cat : You're one short buddy

Score: 31

What's the difference between a man and an octopus? Octopus: eight tentacles, each its own neural structure that offloads work from the brain

Human Male: one tentacle which controls brain

Score: 26

How does an octopus go into battle? Well-**armed**.

^^Not ^^sorry

Score: 26

What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus? A visit from the ethics committee and immediate withdrawal of your funding.

Score: 26

Dad just dropped this at my cousin's 8th birthday party...I was the only one to burst out laughing.. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten tickles.

Score: 23

Why did the octopus cross the reef? To get to the other tide.

Ha.ha.ha. I'm heading out now.

Score: 15

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh Ten-Tickles.

... I can't stop

Score: 12

Everyone knows that it takes ten tickles to make an octopus laugh. But how did scientists learn this fact? They did some test tickles

Score: 11

How many tickles does it take to mangle an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

I'll show myself out.

Score: 10

What do you get when you cross a baby with an octopus? An angry letter from the ethics committee and immediate cessation of all funding.

(The joke about the man and the egg reminded me of this).

Score: 8

What do you get when you mix a Mexican, and a octopus? I don't know either but could you imagine that thing picking apples?!

Score: 8

How many times do you have to tickle an octopus for it to laugh? Ten tickles 😁

Score: 5

What do you get when you mix a Mexican with a octopus? I don't know either, but could you imagine that thing picking apples?

Score: 5

How many.... How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh...

Ten-tickles

Score: 5

New Octopus Jokes

What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an octopus? An immediate cessation of funds and a stern reprimand from the ethics committee

Score: 0

What did the cat say to the octopus with a gun in each tentacle ? You're one short, buddy.

Score: 2

My friends and I once paid $400 for four octopus dishes at a fancy restaurant. We really felt like a bunch of suckers.

Score: 1

What do you call an octopus going into war? Well-Armed

Score: 2

What do you get when you cross a cow, an octopus, and a man? a reprimand from the ethics commissioner.

Score: 4

What did the octopus need to win the football match? Ten tackles.

Score: 1

What do you call a girl with 16 legs? An octopus.

Score: 1

What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus? A visit from the ethics committee and your funding pulled.

Score: 1

What did they boy octopus say to the girl octopus? I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.

Score: 1

What do you call an octopus that wears footwear? A Socktopus

Score: 2

How did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? It was well armed!

Score: 1

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

(Courtesy of my coworker with two young children)

Score: 2

What is an octopus's favorite band? Ink Floyd

I'm so sorry

Score: 2

How many times do you have to tickle a octopus to make it laugh Ten tickles

Score: 3

How can you turn your child into an octopus? With Ten tickles

Score: 3

What do you get when you cross an octopus with an electric eel? A shocktopus.

Score: 2

What do you call an octopus that's missing one tentacle? Octopus Prime.

Score: 3

What did the octopus make for desert? ...Octopie

Score: 2