Original Jokes

Contents

Funniest Original Jokes

Why are reposts always upvoted more than original jokes? You need to tell it to a redditor multiple times for them to get it.

Score: 4338

Why is it best to teach physics on the edge of a cliff? (Original joke) Because that's where students have the most potential.

Score: 2496

TIL that for release in Finland, the original Mortal Kombat had to be censored in an unusual way. Censors were fine with the gore, but insisted the music be replaced with traditional Christian songs. FINNISH HYMN!!!

Score: 1970

An original joke walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Welcome to /r/Jokes! I don't think I've seen you here before." Original joke replies, "Don't worry. Within a week or two, I'll be a regular here!"

Score: 1687

My friend told me about a wonder food that he discovered that contains protein, fiber, and good fats "That's nuts!" I exclaimed.

Edit: Wow! Who knew that by posting an original joke I'd get this many upvotes! That's nuts!

Score: 1437

True story: My wife told me after our first kid “I don’t think I’ll ever get down to my original weight.”

Me: “I’m glad you’re finally thinking straight, after all, 6 lbs 3 oz is just not realistic.”

She still doesn’t think it was funny years later.

Score: 1331
Funny Original Jokes
Score: 1306

What is matthew mcconaughey' least favorite part of interstellar? "The girls get older, but he stays the same age"

-first attempt at a original joke (apologies if its a repost that I'm unaware of)

Score: 1154

I'm never going bungee jumping. I came into this world due to broken rubber, I'll be damned if I leave because of it.

**Edit:** Wow, never knew this was so original. My dad told me it years ago, thought it was a typical dad joke.

Score: 1144

What do liquid Draino and a Dutch stripper have in common? They both slowly remove clogs.

I'll see myself out... Hey, at least it was original.
Thanks for the gold !

Score: 937

Why did the match factory burn down? Because the workers went on strike


I just thought of this, not sure whether its an original joke

Score: 710

I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet... I don't know why.

Edit: I'm thrilled at the response! I should say this is an original joke from British comedian Chris Turner.

Score: 571

An original joke. Sorry, wrong subreddit.

Score: 529

An original joke walks into a bar. Bartender : Hey, welcome to /r/jokes! I don't think I've seen you here before.

Original joke: Don't worry, I'll be a regular here within a week or two.

Score: 465

There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who thought they knew what the punchline would be, and those who are now searching for the original joke.

Score: 225

My first original joke. What happens to a black mans hair when it feels nauseous??

It fro's up.

Score: 221

1948; "Did you hear,the Jewish people finally got their own country? Is this real?" "Yes,it is real!" My best original joke, taa daaa. !!!

Score: 194

His original name was John Kennedy They added the F later to pay respects

Score: 184

Einstein walks into a bar... The bartender asks "What's the deal, Einstein? You look like you're out of energy tonight."

Einstein responds: "Eh, no matter."

[BTW this was original]

Score: 163

Okay, I thought this up on the way to work this morning and I'm like 40% sure it's original. What did one patch of moss say to the other when asked what he thought of the summer weather?

He said: "I'm lichen it so far!"

Now you're allowed to laugh, if you'd like.

Score: 152

Whats the difference between an original joke and a repost? I dunno, i just click submit

Score: 138

What did the staircase say when I climbed it? Nothing.




It just staired.


(Actually kind of proud of this one, entirely original dad joke)

Score: 132

\r\jokes has the funniest most original content But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

Score: 109

The original name for Jedis was "Force Kin". I wonder why they rolled it back?

Score: 105

What's one thing that women hate more than being stared at? When you stare at the woman standing next to them.

That's my original for the year!

Score: 98

In the original Star Wars Peter Mayhew once had to redo a scene because he missed his cue. It was a Wookiee mistake

RIP Peter.

Score: 94

What does a mermaid wear to a Maths class ? An algaebra.

Note: Not my original. I had read this somewhere a few years ago. Kudos to the original creator.

Score: 90

My life is like a romantic comedy Except there's no romance and it's just me laughing at my own jokes.

> HA! Hilarious and original! Encore!

Score: 88

My brother wanted to share his original joke with you guys so here we go... You guys wanna see my invisible jet, well you can’t

Score: 72

Two cats are swimming across a river One is called "One Two Three" the other is called "Un Deux Trois." Which cat survives?

"One Two Three"
because un deux trois cat sank

Disclaimer; not original, just saw it online and thought you'd all appreciate

Score: 70

Did you hear about the lady who fell in love with a ginger ale salesman? [original!] She was Schwepped off her feet

Score: 69

Why couldn't the A level student date the IB student? Because a + ib is complex.

(It's a math joke.)

edit: this is not original, heard it from a friend.

Score: 55

A broke man goes to a famous lawyer... "I have no money but I can give you an original Picasso drawing"

"That sounds good! What are you accused of?"

"stealing a Picasso drawing."

Score: 48

What's a flower plus a t-Rex? A squished flower!

(An original from my 5 year old)

Score: 41

What do you call a bird that sticks to trees? Velcrow.

(Thanks and credit to u/HRduffNstuff for rewording my original post :))

Score: 38

my girlfriend is a lot like the Fedex guy. She only comes when I'm not home.

(Probably not original but I haven't heard it before)

Score: 37

Netflix’s original content has some stiff competition. I heard they’re shooting something at YouTube HQ today.

Score: 31

Nothing Original There’s a girl on my art course who never does any original work, she copies everything.

We call her Tracey.

Score: 29

Did you hear about the insane Mexican train saboteur? They say he had some real loco-motives.

(I know, it's pure genius, and totally original.)

Score: 27

I have a funny and original joke... April fools!

Score: 26

Popular Topics

New Original Jokes

Usian bolt sees his friend while running to work His friend: Hi dude want me to drop you to where you are going?

Usian Bolt: Sorry dude Im in a hurry




(Not my original joke)

Score: 2

(original joke) What do you call a man who doesn't want to be seen? A Paultergeist

Score: 4

To the person who stole my authentic and original copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you and I will kill you You have my word.

Score: 7

All the jokes on this subreddit are extremely original, refreshing, and just absolutely hilarious! I wish I could post this on another subreddit.

Score: 2

I bought a computer with Windows Vista installed on it. People were joking and laughing at me for the "bad deal" I had made. Little do they know, I got legimate Windows 95 too. All original. Joke's on them, I consider this as a Win Win situation.

Score: 2

What do you call a red head Asian girl who does things with grace? Ginger Lee.

*If you ever see this I'm sorry for stealing your original joke @Ziplock*

Score: 2

General: soldier I did not see you in camouflage class today! Soldier: Thanks, Sir....





Yes this is me ... I fixed the original post....

Score: 3

That reminds me of a theatre production based on the dictionary... It's a play on words.

^^^^Original joke from Some Jerk with a Camera.

Score: 3

Albert Einstein told me I was insane one time. He told me that I kept coming back here expecting to see a new and original joke every time, even though it wasn’t possible.

Score: 2

Did you hear? A psychopathic scientist cloned a guy, killed the clone, and made the original eat the clone? He really was full of himself

Score: 6

What is not often seen and makes you laugh? an original joke at /r/jokes

or nitrous oxide.

Score: 3

An original joke (50% of it is) What do you call it when a cow falls over?
Ground beef.
What do you call it when yo mama falls over?
You don’t call it you call emergency earthquake services.

Score: 2

Why did the repost cross the road? Because I couldn't think of an original joke

Score: 3

There are two types of jokes: 1) Those which are original rather than copied word-for-word from a better person.
1) Those which are original rather than copied word-for-word from a better person.

Score: 4

Do you have the original book Romeo and Juliet? A customer at our bookstore asked me, "Do you have the original book Romeo and Juliet? My daughter needs it for school, and all I can find is the play."

Score: 3

Putting down your book... ... is the original pause button.

Score: 2

What is 10 Divided by 0? Original Content

Score: 2

I really hope the new 'It' movie is as good as the original.. Because those are some big shoes to fill.

Score: 20

How many i's does "Carl" have? One less than "Rick".

An original joke I pondered while binging TWD on Netflix.

Score: 2

Did you know the original programmer of Oregon Trail was beaten to death by mentally ill Discworld fan? He died of dissin' Terry.

Score: 2

My wife asked me to do something new in bed My boss asked me to come up with original ideas.

My friends asked me to play some new music.

My kids asked me to tell them new stories.

What they all dont know is that I am a member of /r/Jokes

Score: 9

I was browsing Netflix the other day, and Happened upon the Amy Schumer special "Inside Amy Schumer." Looks like they couldn't use the original title idea due to copyright issues: 'Wide Open Spaces'

Score: 3

[OC] A friend of mine told me I should never steal Because I will only end up getting karma'd. Thanks to his advice, I've gotten triple my original amount after only a few reposts.

Score: 3

What's the difference between Santa and an Original Joke? After growing up, people still believe in original jokes...

Score: 2

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.


PS: Saw this somewhere on Facebook not my original.

Score: 5

Why didn't the client tip the server? Because they didn't have enough cache!

(Computer Science nerds unite! This is my original joke, I originally posted it on Imgflip last year with bad pun dog and it got a decent response.)

Score: 4

Who won the original Tour De France? The 7th Panzer division

Score: 12

What kind of vegetable is the craziest to eat? [OC] Plantains – it's just bananas!

Thought this up while at work today, might not be original but it gave me a chuckle :)

Score: 4

You've exceeded your original content quota. Please upgrade your internet package. As a service to our valued customers, this subreddit will be filled with reposts.

Score: 2

What is a floppy disc that as an erection? A hard drive.

(This is an attempt at an original joke)
(I am aware of the "as" that should be a "has")

Score: 2

(Original) Watched someome die in arms today But I feel bad about stabbing the person in first place. Shouldn't have done that.

Should 've just shot him and ran away.

Score: 3

If a joke gets reposted but no one has seen the original, is it still a repost?

Score: 3

Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out burning fires.
Why do elephants have big feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.

First and last original joke from 6 year old self

Score: 4

Guy walks into a bar... Guy: I'll take a PBR.

Bartender: draft, bottle, or tallboy?

Guy: what's cheapest?

Bartender: you are.

*don't know if original, but just popped into my head as I sit here drinking my PBR 😊

Score: 3

[original] Why don't you serve police unfiltered coffee? Because that's grounds for arrest.

Score: 20

What's Fred Flintstone's favorite soft drink? Mountain Yaba-daba-do


^I don't know if this is original but it just popped into my head. ^^I'll see myself out..

Score: 3

(Original) What do you call it when Trump and Mike Pence go to the movies together? A government mandate

Score: 6

Today morning I ate an unhatched chick Just to bring any comfort and optimism to everyone, I had the unhatched chick sunny side up.

~Original

Score: 2

What did the asian parents say to their son the before a test? Study Ying

I don't know if this joke is original or not.

Score: 5

I'm pretty sure someone stole the last paragraph of my essay, and hid it on a really high shelf... But I don't want to jump to conclusions.

Not original, and not sure if it's been posted before, but it made me chuckle and thought I'd share.

Score: 15

"What does original mean?" asked a son to his father.

"It means 'something new,'" the father answered.

"Oh," replied the son, "so are you original, then?"

"No, son, I post in /r/jokes."

Score: 2

I just thought of a great April fools joke If everyone posted original content all day. But it wouldn't last 5 minutes if we are realistic.

Score: 2

I once wrote the score on a movie about a funeral... ...they said none of the songs on R.I.P. OST sounded very original.

Score: 2

I used to post original jokes Then I gave up drinking

Score: 3

Luke: Yoda, are going the right way? Yoda: Off-course, we are.



Repost. Original posting by madchicken

Score: 2

My kid asked me what root beer was made of... I told him beer squared.

Original joke. May have been made before but i thought it was ~~funny~~corny.

Score: 1

Something only 6000bc kids will get THE original OPs mom.

Score: 3

(An original) I'll always get in a fight with someone with dwarfism.... We just don't see eye to eye.

Score: 1

I think I'm going to start selling pirate corn in my shop... I'm going to charge a buck an ear.

(Yes another attempt at an original joke)

Edit: Apparently it's not original. I should have googled it first. Man thinking up something no one else has is tough.

Score: 2

How do you tell if someone online is American? They keep their caps locked and guns loaded.

(Not the best and not original)

Score: 2

'original' is my second name . . . 'un' is my first

Score: 2

What type of jokes are the least upvoted ones? Original Jokes.

Score: 2

What's a truck's favorite game? Truck, truck, goose.

Original content from my four year old son.

Score: 2

If I had to pick a food as a sophisticated best friend, it'd be cheese cuz cheese is so cultured. Original joke. I'm sure if it's funny though..

Score: 1

What is a pirates favourite letter It is clearly double D as they are mostly males who can't stand a sunken chest and no booty.

(New original take on old joke)

Score: 16

What is a drunk's favorite kind of skis? Brew-skies!!

*Hope that is an original for /r/jokes. I couldn't find something similar with a search.*

Score: 4

(original joke) what's a fish's favourite type of angle a scalene angle haha

Score: 1

I hear Sisyphus was a musical genius The original master of rock and roll!

Score: 2

(Amazingly, an original joke!) Where will they put Deadmau5 when he dies? In a Mau5oleum!

Score: 3

What's the difference is between a lobster with breast implants and a filthy bus depot? One is a busty crustacean and the other is a crusty bus-station!
*edited because I screwed up my original punchline...

Score: 6

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