Hilarious Picture Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Picture Jokes

If you aren't impressed with the picture of the first Black Hole you clearly don't understand the gravity of the situation

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My teacher didn't believe me when I said I had 36 pets so I showed her a picture of my fish tank. She freaked out when she saw how many dogs I could fit in there.

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I bought a locket today and put my own picture in it. Guess now I really am.... Independent

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I went to an Art Gallery, it was $60 to enter and $80 to look at each picture. It was called Electronic Arts.

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Turned 18 today, so I bought a locket and put my own picture in it. Guess I really am independent

Score: 1884

I met Matthew McConaughey and asked him to sign a photo for me. I told him to make sure he doesn't write anything in the left side of the picture though. He said "Alright, I'll write all right."

Score: 1438

La La Land wins Oscar in Best Picture But Moonlight won the popular vote

Score: 1417

When I said to my teacher,I had 26 pets, didn't believe me. So I showed her a picture of my fish tank. Teacher freaked out when she saw how many dogs I could fit in there.

Score: 1248

Yesterday, I accidentally sent a naked picture of myself to everyone in my address book... Not only was it embarrassing, it cost me a fortune in stamps...

Score: 1178

Every 4th of July, America sends Britain a locket with a little tiny picture of the United States in it. They want to remind the crown that America is still... (•_•)

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

In *da* pendent

Score: 606

Why didn't Gordon Ramsay upvote the picture of the lamb steak? Because it was /r/aww

Score: 451

I got a picture of myself in a locket for my 18th birthday. I am now independent

Score: 436

Got my picture taken with R.E.M. the other day.... That's me in the corner.

Score: 435

I accidentally sent a naked picture of myself to everyone in my address book... Not only was it embarrassing, but it cost me a fortune in stamps.

Score: 396

I was tired and bored one night, so I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me, “What’ll you have?” I said, “Surprise me.” He showed me a naked picture of my wife.

Score: 336

I accidentally installed a program that keeps showing me a picture of a Chinese politician. I think it's maoware.

Score: 332

I always keep a picture of my wife and children in my wallet. It reminds me why there's no money in there.

Score: 328

Yesterday I accidentally sent a naked picture of myself to everyone in my address book Not only was it embarrassing but it cost a fortune in stamps.

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If you put a picture of yourself in a locket You could say you are

Independent.

Score: 288

What do you call someone who puts a picture of themselves in a locket? Independent

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Don’t judge a book by its cover. Why? My maths textbook had a picture of someone having fun on the front.

Score: 222

My grandfather had a stroke this week.. He saw a picture of my grandmother when she was younger and couldn't help himself.

Score: 216

The police came to my door last night showing me a picture... "Is this your wife, sir?" they asked.

"Yes", I replied.

"I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus."

"I know, but she's good with the kids."

Score: 187

My wife got naked and told me to show her a good time So I showed her a picture of my friends and I before we got married.

Score: 185

My wife said she wanted to see "Fifty Shades Of Grey". So I showed her a picture of her hair.

Score: 182

Not to brag, but I just got a job as a fitness model... They hired me as the "before" picture.

Score: 182

Turned 18 today, so I bought a locket and put my picture in it. Guess I am... Independent

Score: 167

I was asked to submit a 1,000 word essay.. So I just submitted a picture instead.

Score: 166

How can you tell if a picture was taken with a GoPro? because the owner will tell you

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Facebook is like jail You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don't really know

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Did you know that Stalin had a girlfriend that cheated on him? You know what, don't worry about it. She's out of the picture now anyway.

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If you put a picture of yourself in a locket, you could say you are...

Independant

Score: 63

I switched my kids to almond milk. Whenever people ask me if I think it's healthier I tell them "Nah, I just got tired of them asking why their picture is on the back of the milk cartons."

Score: 48

How do you know you're ugly? You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.

Score: 43

My friend is so vegan, he won't even have his picture taken because he'd have to say cheese.

Score: 42

I tried uploading a picture of the Titanic to OneDrive ... But it just kept syncing.

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Best picture: La La Land Edit: Moonlight

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I can't even picture my favorite actor going to jail now. But if he does, he'll have to change his name to Morgan Man.

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I glued a picture of my deceased parrot onto my boomerang. It brings back good memories.

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New Picture Jokes

If I had a dollar everytime I held a picture of Benjamin Franklin, I'd have 101 dollars.

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The picture that was taken has gone to jail. Because it was framed.

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I took a picture of a meteor shower that looked just like the main character from The Legend of Zelda. Link in the comets.

Score: 19

Some people don’t know why the black hole picture is such a big deal... Honestly, they just don’t get the gravity of it.

Score: 11

The first picture of the black hole shows a bright ring as it vacuums light photons with intense gravity around its mass that is 6.5 billion times more massive than our Sun.. ..but it still doesn’t suck more than your mom.

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Me: so... the first ever picture of a black hole just got published! Mom: cool. why are you so hyped up about it?
Me: I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation.

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With the announcement of the first picture of a black hole, scientists have confirmed once you go black you never do come back

Score: 5

I tried to load an ASCII picture of ice cream on my ancient computer and I succeeded! I got a nice picture of Haagen-DOS

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Here's a picture of a dead grizzly.. Nevermind. I can't bear it.

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Only picture of my grandfather shows he is either Native American or Mexican. To figure it out I was told to go the woods. If I start hunting, he’s Native American. If I start landscaping, he’s Mexican.

Score: 3

A man gets mugged. He goes in for a police sketch.
The police has the picture and asks him if this is accurate.

He says, “he looks sketchier than when i saw him”

Score: 10

If a picture is worth a thousand words, than why do so many video games have such terrible storylines?

Score: 5

I've been married for 20 years, and I still carry a photo of my wife in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties in life I stare at her picture, and it comforts me knowing that...

If I survived that long married to her, I can survive anything.

Score: 18

Dear Sir, Thank you very much for the lovely picture of your wife. However, the title of our competition is "Fact Hunt".

Score: 6

My dad once asked me what a meme was * Me: Picture with a caption, usually funny.
* Dad: Who would ever spend this much time making such things?
* Me:me

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Why was a midget depressed after taking a picture in front of a geyser? Low selfie-steam

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Why did the picture go to jail ? Beacuse it was framed.

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My wife said if I took one more picture of her she’d leave me. That’s when I snapped.

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I bought a locket today and put my own picture in it. Now I can truly think of myself as Independent.

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I messed up today by sending a picture of my junk to everyone in my contact list. Cost me a fortune in stamps too.

Score: 12

Only one man is happy about what's going on in Texas. George Strait.
I can just picture him watching the news while singing "All my ex's live in Texas".

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I posted a picture of an angry Pepe on /r/dankmemes But the mods deleted it because it was a REEEEE post.

Score: 8

How do you take a picture of an eclipse without a camera? Stare at it for 30 seconds

Score: 10

Facebok is like a prison. You sit around, waste time, have a profile picture, write on walls and get poked by guys you don't really know.

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Date: You don't look anything like your profile picture Incredible Hulk: THE BUS WAS LATE

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What's the difference between a Polaroid picture and a baby? If you shake the Polaroid it develops faster.

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A cucumber walks into a bar A cucumber walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "you got any ID?"
The cucumber hands him his license.
The bartender looks at the picture and goes, "nice try but this is obviously a pickle."

Score: 2

I remember when I went to Comic-Con... It was so dark in there, I had to take a picture with The Flash...

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My work colleague asked me “Why do you keep a picture of your wife on your desk if you hate her so much?”

I replied, “In case I’m tempted to take a day off.”

Score: 2

I read a riddle with a picture of an eye, a child, a finger pointing at me, and a knot I kid you not, that's what it was

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My doctor said I am the picture of health The before picture

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What's the difference between meal prepping and eating left overs? About 30 seconds that it takes to post a picture of it on Facebook

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I took a picture of myself at an R.E.M concert. That's me in the corner.

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Punctuation is important when answering questions. If a woman asks you what sort of picture you want her to send you...

"Naked, baby" sounds a lot better than "Naked baby".

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The world was only black and white until the 1920s. We've even got picture and movie evidence of it.

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Origin of 8 It is actually a picture taken of 0 looking behind it, it didn't like it because of the negativity.

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If you take a picture of yourself and put it in a locket... ...your independent.

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Have you ever seen a picture of Hellen Keller's parents? Neither has she.

Score: 17

Got a password lock that takes a picture whenever someone tries the wrong password to look into my phone.
Now I have fifty pictures of drunk me.

Score: 19

Why can't Mario get a tinder date? His profile picture was him killing a turtle.

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The other day I came across a picture of myself when I used to look good without my top on... ...now my girlfriend thinks I'm a narcissist.

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I heard Dreamworks next picture will be about ale drinking in the Middle Ages... It's called "How to Drain Your Flagon".

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My first girlfriend gave me a picture she drew with the words "you're my angle." It might have just been because she was dyslexic but I thought it was acute.

Score: 12

Last time I was this early La La Land won best picture

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Did ABC purposefully mix up the Best Picture announcement in an effort to drive ratings? After some careful research I've found nearly everybody on that stage to be a paid actor!

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Miss Columbia, Hillary Clinton, and La La Land won Miss Universe, the U.S. Presidency, and Best Picture. In theory.

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Oscars experience mistake awarding Best Picture to Moonlight... Hollywood blames Russian hacking

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If Moonlight is Best Picture, what is La La Land? The Fools Who Dream

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And best picture goes to... La La Land - Steve Harvey

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My computer notified me that my wife emailed me a picture of our newborn son since I was gone for a business trip "You've got male!"

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I'm sorry I said "nice phone" When you showed me a picture of your baby..

Score: 11

I can say all the capitals in alphabetical order..... Capital A
Capital B
Capital C...you get the picture.

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Even though there's a picture on the hand drier, I have yet to receive my 3 strips of bacon

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You know you're ugly when... someone hands you the camera for a group picture and you still break the lens.

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Difference between a worker, manager, and a CEO Worker: A baby takes 9 months

Manager: 9 women can birth a baby in a month

CEO: Imagine a baby, I mean like really picture it like it's there and it will be there

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[religion]What's the difference between Jezus and a picture of Jezus? You only need one nail to hang the picture

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Printer tired while printing her picture Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

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Did you know George Washington is not on the 1$ bill? It's just a picture of him.

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I got peanut butter on my camera Now every picture is a jif

Score: 12

I'd like to paint a picture of some famous psychic. But I'm having trouble deciding on a medium.

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