Hilarious President Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest President Jokes

"You're telling me that I'm losing my job because Donald Trump won the election? WHY, BECAUSE I'M BLACK?!" "Mister President, we've been over this..."

Score: 27597

Score: 24109

Steve Jobs would have made a better president than Donald Trump... But that’s comparing apples to oranges.

Score: 20797

Steve jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump. But its a silly comparison really, its like comparing apples to oranges.

Score: 20194

Donald Trump has decided to take just $1 as his salary for the job of the President instead of the usual 400,000. That man would do just about anything to avoid paying the taxes.

Score: 13827

Attention America! We Brits have your president! If you do not send us £50M by Sunday morning.... We’ll return him back to you.

Score: 13285

If Donald Trump becomes President I'm going to Mexico. Not by choice though.

Score: 12706

Bill Clinton tried to cheer up Hillary this morning. He reminded her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected President until after he had served 27 years in prison.

Score: 10369

"How can this idiot possibly be elected as president?" Says a nation that hasn't gotten over the death of a gorilla in 6 months.

Score: 10284

Donald Trump just turned 73 which makes him the first President whose age surpassed his IQ.

Score: 9586

Donald Trump is the next President but... The biggest winner is Melania Trump. She can now call herself The First Lady instead of The Third Wife.

Score: 7534

Secretary walks into the President's room Secretary: Mr.President, Hurricane Florence is causing trouble.
Trump: Offer her the same deal as Stormy Daniels.

Score: 6750

Our President Elect is a real tough guy... The candidate who was going to "defeat ISIS" is currently at war with Saturday Night Live and a Broadway musical.

Score: 3992

Donald Trump said if I voted for Hillary Clinton I'd have a President constantly under Federal investigation. I did and we do.

Score: 3895

My parents told me ANYONE could become president. I didn't know it was a warning.

Score: 3193

A racist, a womanizer, and a rapist walked into a bar... ...the bartender says "how may I help you, Mr. President?"

Score: 2324

What's the difference between Trump becoming president and a soldier dying in combat? The soldier knew what he signed up for.

Score: 2078

First thing Trump does as President... Is kick a Black man out of his house.

Score: 2053

If Trump replaces Obama as president, Orange will be the new Black.

Score: 1979

If the next president is white.... That means the entire country went black and successfully went back.

Score: 1898

America is going to suffer if Donald Trump becomes president. You could say they are going toupée for it.

Score: 1882

Steve Jobs would have been a better president than Trump But I guess it's not fair to compare apples and oranges

Score: 1861

So the American people's choices for President will apparently be either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. That is the joke. There's no punchline here.

Score: 1777

Father: When Abe Lincoln was your age he walked 9 miles to school and did homework by candlelight. Son: When Lincoln was your age he was President.

Score: 1722

Why was Melania so excited when Donald Trump became president Because she can call herself the first lady instead of the third wife

Score: 1679

Donald Trump is going to be president in 4 days. That..that's it...

Score: 1609

There is still hope for for Hillary Clinton Nelson Mandela became President after 27 years in prison.

Score: 1488

What happens when you take a joke too far? The 45th President of the United States of America.

Score: 1416

The American President has challenged the British Prime Minister to a debate. Nobody knows what may happen.

Trump may trump May or May may trump Trump.

Score: 1310

When I was a little boy, my dad taught me that any little boy or girl, even me, could grow up and become President someday... I'm starting to believe him.

Score: 1286

Who would win if the American President debated the British Prime Minister? After all, Trump may trump May, or May may trump Trump

Score: 1198

I believe in giving jobs to the mentally disabled... but we shouldn't elect them President.

Score: 964

Gabe Newell should be president That way we'd never have WW3.

Score: 904

Steve Jobs would have been a much better president than Donald Trump But its a silly comparison really, like comparing apples to oranges.

Score: 882

i'm not german, but this is a little jokie joke Overheard at the White House:

Trump to Vice-President Mike Pence: "the less immigrants we let in the better."

Pence to trump: "The FEWER.."

Trump interrupts Pence and says: "don't call me that in public".

Score: 791

President Trump attempts suicide, fails because of broken rope. Fake noose.

Score: 721

Russia's president wasn't elected.... He was Putin!

Score: 541

What will the secret service yell when something is hurtling towards the president? Donald duck!

Score: 535

Can a woman be the president of Russia? No because Putin is not a woman

Score: 451

A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"

Score: 389

New President Jokes

Trump is reportedly upset that the Ukraine just elected a comedian as president. Oh, Crimea river!

Score: 179

If Hillary Clinton was elected, she would have been the first f president. I would say female, but the emale got deleted.

Score: 89

Nurse to my dad at the hospital... ... after he was hit by a car on his bike: do you smoke?

Dad, still not sure who the current president is: only when I'm on fire

Nurse: looks to my mom

Mom: no.

Score: 52

A rapist, a bigot, and a pathological liar walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have, Mr. President?"

Score: 62

Do you know which president has the cleanest record Lincoln, he was in a cent

Score: 43

I saw a clickbait article: "Watch Eminem attack Trump like no President has ever been attacked." I mean... Kennedy was shot in the head... But ok.

Score: 91

I think Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump... ...but I guess that's just comparing apples and oranges.

Score: 58

What do you call a person who kneels after the President makes inappropriate comments? Monica Lewinsky

Score: 35

Why is the congress never impeaching president Trump? because republicans insist on carrying a baby to its full term.

Score: 162

Why did the president and his entourage drown? "Fake canoes."

Score: 20

Former president Clinton Walks into a dry cleaner with a suit,

"I'm in a hurry can I get this by 3 today?"

The clerk, preoccupied, quickly looked up and asked "come again?"

"No, it was mustard this time."

Score: 139

The Secret Service just had to change protocol for when the president is in danger Instead of yelling "Get down!" they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

Score: 45

Hillary Clinton would've been the first F president I would've said female, but she deleted the email.

Score: 25

What do you call a musical equation that a former Vice President composes? An algorithm

(Credit to my girlfriend)

Score: 32

President Trump bumped into Mike Pence in a White House hallway this morning... Trump said "Pardon me."

Score: 99

A spy, an adulterer, and a guy who launders money for the Russian mob walk into a bar... The bartender says "What'll it be, Mr. President?"

Score: 60

President Trump: "I've raised THE BEST kids....." ".....They are the most polite people you have ever seen. Just today Don Jr. has already said "Pardon Me, Dad" at least 10 times. He has such great manners!"

Score: 247

How do you begin a politically incorrect joke? President Ben Franklin walks into a bar...

Score: 222

Which President is the least guilty? Lincoln.
He is in a cent.

Score: 33

I don't know if Gabe Newell would be a very good president. But at least there won't be a world war 3.

Score: 165

In Russia, People Don't Choose Russia's President People choose United States president

Score: 23

A Mexican kid meets Donald Trump and says to him, “I want to be President one day.” Trump says, “Are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you retarded?” The kid replies, “You know what, I’ve changed my mind. Those are too many requirements.”

Score: 26

President Donald Trump is great at reading female body language Too bad he reads it in braille.

Score: 109

I got President Trump's autograph today. He signed my Deportation Notice.

Score: 56

What did Mickey Mouse yell when the president was about to be shot? Donald!! Duck!!!

Score: 35

The secret service used to yell "Get Down" whenever the president was in immediate danger Now they yell "Donald Duck!"

Score: 79

Why is everybody questioning Trump’s integrity? He is not taking the salary usually given by the United States to be the President. He honestly feels he should not be paid by more than one government.

Score: 20

Question: Can the President fire the Director of the FBI? Yes, of course. If he can put Trump in office, President Putin can certainly fire Comey too.

Score: 28

What did the White House staff do when President Trump broke the fax machine? They replaced it with an alternative fax machine.

Score: 24

Under President Trump, ISIS continues to spread across Middle East as a fine red mist.

Score: 21

Who else thinks we need to finally have a woman for president? We've got to reduce government spending, and we could staff the white house job for 75 cents on the dollar!

Score: 19

The bodyguards of the POTUS used to shout "Get down, Mr. president!" during assassination attempts Now they just say "Donald, duck"

Score: 92

Why is President Trump so cranky? Because he owns my username but only I have the password.

Score: 25

A rapist, a businessman and a Russian spy walk into a bar The bartender says: "what may I get for you Mr. President?

Score: 20

President of South Korea Impeached. Hopefully the USA will follow suit, and have their president deoranged.

Score: 30

What happens when you take a joke too far? The 45th President of the United States.

Score: 19

Why did Obama get two terms as President? Because every black man gets a longer sentence.

Score: 66

Wow, Donald Trump is President. I haven't seen Democrats this mad since.... ...slavery was outlawed and the desegregation of public schools!

Score: 27

Which President had the shortest term? Grover Cleveland.

He was the twenty second President.

Score: 89

Trump hates saying "yes" to Mexicans so much We may as well call him the "Not Si" President

Score: 300

Mexico's president says he will not go to the U.S. for a meeting with Trump The wall's not even finished and it kept a Mexican out!

Score: 122

What do you call it when the new US president waves his hand? A microwave.

Score: 378

I miss the days when the Annoying Orange was just a fictional youtube character And not the President of the United States.

Score: 312

Why would Gabe Newell be a good president? Because then World War 3 would never happen

Score: 77

Which President is the worst at Jenga? Bush, because he keeps knocking down towers

Score: 24

A narcissist, a misogynist, and a bigot walks into a bar... Bartender says, what'll it be Mr. President?

Score: 73

I hope Joe Biden will run for president in 2020 Because when he announces it he's able to say that he's been Biden his time.....

I'm sorry

Score: 146

To Hillary supporters, don't give up hope! Nelson Mandela served 27 years in prison before becoming President.

Score: 322

Which US President was least guilty? Lincoln. He was in a cent.

Score: 38

Hillary wouldve made girls believe they can be President Trump made EVERYONE believe they can be President.

Score: 50

Forget Washington, Lincoln, JFK. Trump Is Simply Going To Be The Best President To Have Come in A Melania.

Score: 92

Despite all the flak the public gives him, Trump has already solved the immigration problem in just a few days after becoming President-elect Just ask yourself, who would want to sneak into America now?

Score: 93

So, I hope that when President Trump gets tired of us he'll leave us for some younger, more attractive, East European country. Hopefully in a year or so

Score: 19

Millions of children are being inspired by seeing their first presidential election. If a misogynistic con artist and a lying criminal can run for president, then so can that kid eating dirt on the playground.

Score: 21

Who was the only president that was not guilty? Lincoln. He was in a cent.

Score: 37

So the American people's choices for President of the United States will most likely be Donald Trump or Hilary Clinton. That's it. That's the joke. There is no punchline.

Score: 168

Monica Lewinsky says she won't endorse Hillary for president... "The last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in my mouth"

Score: 23

Did you hear that Tom Brady is running for president? His platform is lowering inflation.

Score: 26

Who is the least guilty U.S. President? Lincoln.

He's in a cent!

Score: 66

Heard this from my History Professor. Ronald Reagan had such high regard for the office of President that his jacket was never off.

Bill Clinton had such high regard for the office of President that his pants were never on.

Score: 18