Presidential Jokes

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Funniest Presidential Jokes

Congratulations to the winner of last night's presidential debate! The Voyager probe, flying away from Earth at an estimated 62000 km per hour.

Score: 2693

Normally I hate those trashy, fake, rigged reality TV shows... But I might watch the presidential debate tonight anyway.

Score: 2030

What costs hundreds of millions of dollars but is worthless? 2nd place in a presidential election.

Score: 968

In US Presidential History: Washington could not tell a lie, Nixon could not tell a truth... and Trump can not tell the difference

Score: 833

No matter who wins the presidential election, it will be historic. We'll either have the first female president, the first Jewish president, the first Canadian president, or the last president.

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Funny Presidential Jokes
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It's official. The winner of the biggest upset in US presidential history is T-R-U-M- A-N. 1948. HUGE upset.

Edit 3:30AM ET: this was a *lot* funnier when it was true.

Score: 177

What do the 2016 Rio Olympics and the 2016 US presidential race have in common? Half of the competitors cheat and the other half aren't qualified.

Score: 118

With the Brexit vote being compared to the Presidential election, I have only one thing to say Make America Great Britain again!

Score: 79

50Cent says Trump offered him $500,000 to join presidential campaign Only Trump would pay $500k for $0.50

Such a deal maker.

Score: 65

The Presidential Debate We don't know if Hillary is telling the truth, and we're hoping Trump isn't

Score: 64

Imagine if the presidential race was an actual marathon Then we'd really have a Kenyan in office.

Score: 59

BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump does not accept presidential election... Says he doesn't want to move into an estate which previously had black tenants.

Score: 54

Millions surprised when they heard Julian Castro was dropping out of Presidential Race... as they didn’t know he was actually running.

Score: 46

With so many Americans upset with the candidates in the upcoming Presidential election, we should look on the bright side ... ... and please let me know what it is when you've found it.

Score: 36

What will they play at the presidential inauguration if Republicans win? Trump-ets

I'll see myself out

Score: 31

The last twenty five years have been a bizarre time to grow up. For instance, i've lived through more 'Spiderman' re-boots than legitimate presidential elections.

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The American Presidential Campaign is a lot like the new Mac. **There is no escape.**

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Bernie Sanders joins list of 2020 Democratic Presidential candidates. Err sorry, typo. That should be:
Bernie Sanders joins list of 2,020 Democratic Presidential candidates.

Score: 25

What flavor gum does a scientist prefer? Exspearamint.

inspired by the presidential gum joke.

Score: 21

Millions of children are being inspired by seeing their first presidential election. If a misogynistic con artist and a lying criminal can run for president, then so can that kid eating dirt on the playground.

Score: 21

On the bright side of the election There hasn't been a presidential assassination in a while.

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What should Bernie Sanders' next presidential campaign be called? Hindsight is 2020

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What's the Presidential ventilator called? Forced Air One

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Who lost the American Presidential Debate? America.

Score: 17

Third party US presidential candidate Gary Johnson just delivered a crushing blow to the Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton campaigns By keeping his mouth shut.

Score: 17

Snoop Dogg should have given the official response to Trump's Presidential Address to Congress... He has probably participated in more Joint Sessions than just about anyone.

Score: 17

Newt Gingrich would probably leave the presidential race... if he learned it had cancer.

Score: 16

While sitting on the couch my wife said "I feel like putting on a pair of flip-flops." Then she changed the channel to the presidential debate.

Score: 15

Woohoo! Donald Trump won the presidential election! As a Clinton voter I'm not happy that he won, just happy that I'm not Mexican

Score: 14

What is the biggest joke in the world as of now? The current US presidential election

Score: 10

I took a trip to the JFK Presidential Library yesterday... It was mind blowing

Score: 5

Did you hear about the time Donald Trump made James Comey have lunch with him? I heard it was a presidential man-date.

Score: 5

What's the difference between an argument in kindergarten and the presidential debate? About 70 years

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The United States Post Office has issued a recall of the official Donald Trump Presidential stamp People were too confused about which side to spit on

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After having a fly land on his head during yesterday's Vice-presidential debate, Mike Pence got a flyswatter. Let's hope he takes that flyswatter back to the White House, and uses it on what is really bugging the nation.

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Why did the Mayor take so long to endorse a Presidential candidate? Because he was running on CP time.

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And the winner of the 2016 presidential election is Hillary! - Steve Harvey

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Donald Trumps presidential codename should be Agent Orange. I love the smell of no juan in the morning.

Score: 3

French Presidential bodyguard accidentally discharges weapon whilst on duty... France & Italy have both offer their immediate unconditional surrender.

Score: 3

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New Presidential Jokes

The 2020 presidential election. Yeah no that's it. That's the actual joke.

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What do you call a total-lose-lose situation? A 2020 presidential debate

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I heard people are having a hard time finding enough horror movies to get them through all 31 days of spooktober. Luckily the 15th and 22nd are covered since the presidential debates will be on.

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I saw the funniest two person stand up comedy act last night!! Definitely not gonna miss the next *presidential debate*

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Would you shut up man! You clown! The summary of the American presidential debate

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This year’s presidential election, and the presidential election of 2016. That’s it.

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Trump just dropped out of the 2020 presidential race Now, I guess it's good Biden.

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Did you hear that the Trump Presidential library burned down? It's ok ... they saved both books.




And one of them wasn't even colored in yet!

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Why would Usain Bolt win any presidential election? Because he’s running for president.

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With these allegations against Joe Biden he may not announce his Presidential run or maybe he is just Biden his time

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Why won't the Democrats win the Presidential election in 2020. Because they're Biden their time.

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Why did Obama win the presidential race? Because Kenyan’s usually win in the long run.

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Robert Mugabe admits to playing World of Warcraft You are not in this Presidential group.
Please leave office or you will be teleported to the nearest graveyard in 59..58...57

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I like dark humor So I turn off the lights while reading presidential tweets.

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Cam Newton isn't really a sexist... He's just getting a jump on his Presidential Campaign.

Newton '20

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How many Puerto Rican voters have to die before Trump decides to save one? All of them. Puerto Ricans can't vote in the presidential election....

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What TV show can you compare to the 2016 US presidential elections? Orange is the new black.

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How many Trump spokesmen does it take to change a lightbulb? There is no need to fix the light. Darkness is modern day presidential.

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I passed the presidential fitness test! It was so much easier than last time.

All I had to do was tweet some nonsense and talk about sexually harassing my classmates!

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There have been two presidential impeachments in the history of the United States... One involved a Johnson from the south and some violations relating to a staff member and the other was the 1868 impeachment of Andrew Johnson.

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Who's the presidential candidate that scored one below par? Birdie Sanders!

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A joke I love to tell to girls: What's grey, loves the water, and lives in Washington D.C. The Presidential Seal

Score: 1

After the US Presidential Election, I can't play bridge properly anymore... Bidding No Trump doesn't work

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Why is the American Presidential Election always on a Tuesday? Because Tuesday is choose-day.

Score: 1

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