Hilarious Pull Out Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Pull Out Jokes

Two men are drinking in a bar They pull out the sandwiches their wives had lovingly prepared and tuck in.

The bartender comes over and says "you can't eat your own food in here"

So they swapped sandwiches.

Score: 15099

Score: 2016

"Hey Bud, why don't you use condoms?" "My pull out game is superb. Condoms are also expensive, gotta pinch pennies when you have 14 kids to feed."

Score: 1000

Why did the vampire pull out? He needed permission to come inside.

Score: 234

My wife and I use the pull-out method for birth control .... we pull out our phones and ignore each other all night.

Score: 223

My ex girlfriend and I had a safe word... So when things would get a little too rough in the bedroom, she'd yell, "Marry me!" and I would pull out, leave her apartment, and not call her for a few weeks. Super safe.

Score: 108

I always play Jenga on a first date, That way she knows how strong my pull out game is.

Score: 78

whats the difference between my driveway and 14 year old daughter? ... I pull out of my driveway

Score: 59

What do a frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant girl have in common? Failure to pull out in time

Score: 33

Vladimir does not pull out... He only *putin*

Score: 23

We all saw the tape.... Donald isn't the first guy to pull out of Paris

Score: 17

I know a guy with nine kids. This guy couldn't pull out of his own driveway.

Score: 14

What do you call people who use the pull out method as form of birth control? Parents.

Score: 11

If you ever get into an argument with a girl and she pulls a knife, Pull out ham, bread, and mayo. Instincts will kick in and she will make you a sandwich.

Score: 11

My pull out game is strong. No kidding.

Score: 9

What do you call people who use the "pull out" method for contraception? Parents.

Score: 7

My bit coin game is as good as my pull out game... 5 kids later

Score: 7

What do you call a couple using the pull out method? Parents!!

Score: 7

What do women and the stock market have in common? If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money.

My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.

Score: 7

No matter how quick you pull out.. ..the ATM machine always beeps.

Score: 6

Pull out and pray isn't just my preferred method of birth control It's also how i use my debit card

Score: 6

So apparently Trump's policy on birth control is the same as his policy on climate change. pull out.

Score: 6

What do you call couples who use pull out as a means of birth control? Parents

Score: 4

What's harder to pull out of than Iraq? Bristol Palin.

Score: 3

My Dad couldn't pull out of my Mom... ...but at least he could pull out of my life.

Score: 3

What happens when you try to pull out a tooth using the "string and doorknob trick" or a pair of pliers? You get fired from your job as a dentist.

Score: 3

What do you call a steel stick that you can pull out of concrete? Excalrebar!

Score: 3

What do you call 2 people who think the pull out method is effective contraception? Parents.

(Also works with 'rhythm method')

Score: 3

Mom died and left me that thing she used to weave rugs out of that stuff you pull out of used styling brushes. It was a family hair-loom.

Score: 3

“did you pull out?” first of all you called me daddy so I thought you wanted to have kids

Score: 3

What's the one thing you need to know in order to make money on the stock market AND not have kids without using condoms? The right time to pull out.

Score: 3

They should change the name of The Paris Agreement to "The Weekend Golfing Trip." Trump would never pull out of that.

Score: 3

Why don't big trains have little trains? They pull out on time.

Score: 3

Confucius say, Man who pull out too fast, leaves rubber behind.

Score: 3

What do you call people who use the "pull out" method? Parents.

Score: 2

I don't understand why people say that it doesnt work to just "pull out" Whenever I pull out a gun, people listen right away!

Score: 2

Trump announced plans to pull out of Iran deal. And if that doesn't work he'll just pay them a bunch of taxpayer money to get the abortion and keep quiet about it.

Score: 2

What's the difference between OP's dad and bad drivers? Bad drivers pull out when they shouldn't.

OP's dad doesn't pull out when he should

Score: 2

Why did Iran hire Stormy Daniels as a consultant? To gain intel on Donald Trumps “Pull Out” techniques.

Score: 2

What’s the difference between me and AMAZON? I don’t pull out

Score: 2

New Pull Out Jokes

The doctor says she has to pull out all of my wisdom teeth They are NOT working

Score: 0

What do you do if a Whomen throws a Handgranate at you? You pull out the Pin and throw it back

Score: 2

What do they call guys who pull out instead of using condoms? Dad

Score: 1

What is the difference between me and Donald Trump? I don't pull out.

Score: 1

My dad is a bad driver. He has had a lot of accidents. He still hasn't learned how to pull out.

Score: 1

You gotta be careful around anyone these days... I was walking down the street at 7:30 yesterday and a guy pulled out a SCISSORS. Luckily I was agile enough to reach into my pocket and pull out a rock. Coz if I had pulled out paper, man I would have lost.

Score: 1

A bird man gets cornered by the police they stop him in a corner for his illegal use of summoning pigeons but just as they pull out thier guns the bird man summons a flock of birds and points at the police saying flock the police!

Score: 2

Defrosting a freezer is like picking your nose It's so satisfying when you manage to pull out an exceptionally large chunk!

Score: 1

I learned a lot from my affair with my health teacher But not enough to pull out an A so I ended up going with plan B

Score: 2

My brother was wanting to stop by tomorrow after work So he asked me "When do you get off?"

I said "right after I pull out"

Score: 1

What's the opposite of Putin? Pull out

Score: 1

If this post gets 1000 up votes me and my wife will make a baby Just kidding I always pull out of these things

Score: 2

For those who can't eat their vegetables bc of the wheelchair: There IS a chocolate shake with every one, all you have to do is pull out the straw.

Edit: a word

Score: 2

What's the difference between the stock market and women? With the stock market you can only lose when you pull out.

Score: 1