Contents
Funniest Jokes
New Jokes
Funniest Rabbi Jokes
A man tells a Rabbi: "I have a strong desire to live to eternity"
"Get married," replies the Rabbi.
"Is that simple? Would that allow me to live forever?"
"Not really, but the desire will disappear."
That rabbi's gone crazy! He's been running around a circumcising all kinds of lettuce... and that's just the tip of the iceberg.
A priest, a rabbi, and a chicken walk into a bar.
The bartender says "Nope! We don't do jokes here, get out!"
And the chicken says, "Come on guys, I know a place across the street."
A man tells a Rabbi: "I have a strong desire to live to eternity"
"Get married," replies the Rabbi.
"It's that simple? Would that allow me to live forever?"
"Not really but the desire will "disappear"."
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead
...a doctor, a lawyer and an accountant, a Brit, a German and an American, a priest, a rabbi, two camels and a duck walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them all and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
A rabbi, a priest, and an atheist walk into a bar. The bartender sees them and says, "What is this, a joke?!"
A Rabbi walks into a bar with a frog on his shoulder...
The bartender asks, “Hey buddy, where did you get that?”
The frog responds, “Brooklyn, they’re all over the place!”
Did you hear about the rabbi who had to circumcise elephants? The pay was terrible but the tips were huge!
How does the Rabbi make his coffee? Hebrews it
How does a rabbi make coffee? Hebrews it.
A priest, an Imam, and a Rabbi walk into a bar... The bartender looks up and says: "What is this, some kinda joke?"
A Jewish woman goes to see her Rabbi...
and asks, "Yankele and Yosele are both in love with me, who will be the lucky one?"
The wise old Rabbi answers, "Yankele will marry you. Yosele will be the lucky one."
What do you call two Jewish rabbits? rabbi
What's the difference between a Rabbi and a Priest? Both have different rituals for 13 year old boys.
A priest, a rabbi and penguin walk into a bar IT'S THE SPANISH INQUISITION!
Rabbi So today I was wondering, when a rabbi performs a circumsision, does he get paid or does he just keep the tips?
A Rabbi, a priest and a minister walk into a bar The bartender asks - is this some kind of joke?
A rabbi walks into a bar with a frog on one shoulder ... The bartender says, "Hey, where'd you get that?" And the frog says, "Brooklyn, der's hundreds of um."
The Pope walks into a synagogue the Rabbi asks, "Why the wrong faith?"
A guy goes to his Rabbi to price a circumcision... He says, "Rabbi, how much do you charge for a circumcision?" And the Rabbi says, "Not much, I just keep the tips."
Did you head about the rabbi who only drank lemonade? He's an acidic Jew....
A Priest, a Rabbi, a Nun, two gorillas, a leopard, a horse, two turtles, and a dragonfly walk into a bar. Bartender yells, “What is this, some sort of joke?”
How does a rabbi makes his coffee? Hebrews it.
What's a rabbi's favorite martial art? Jew-jitsu.
A Nun, a Priest, and a Rabbi walk into a bar... The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
Did you hear about the rabbi who lost his job after a botched circumcision? He got the sac.
A guys is at a party.....
and steps behind two other guys. He notices that they are a Priest and a Rabbi and both are holding ducks.
He says "What is this? a joke?"
The Priest looks back and says, "No, this is the punchline."
Why does the Rabbi never buy beer? Because Hebrews his own
A Jewish woman goes to see her Rabbi
She says to him, "Yankele and Yosele are both in love with me, who will be the lucky one?"
The wise old Rabbi answers, "Yankele will marry you. Yosele will be the lucky one."
A rabbi, priest, and lawyer walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? The rabbi cuts them off, the priest sucks them off.
A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"
A Rabbi, a Priest and an Imam walk into a bar The bartender looks up and says "what, is this some kind of joke?"
A ninja, a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Good to see you two”
A blond, a rabbi, a schoolkid, a lawyer, a prostitute, the pope, a pirate and George Bush walk into a bar...
The bartender says:
Is this a joke?
A priest, Rabbi, and Muslim Cleric walk into a bar... The bartender looks up and goes, "what is this some sort of joke?"
What do you call a sneezing rabbi AaaJeww!
A rabbi comes home and tells his wife
A rabbi comes home and tells his wife: "Honey, I made seven people happy today. I had three couples married."
"Who's the seventh person?" asks the wife.
"Do you really think I did it for free?" says the rabbi.
What do you call a leftover rabbi? Resi-jew.