Races Jokes

Why does Kevin Spacey never get 1st place in races? Because he likes to come in a little behind.

Is it OK to hate certain races? Try as I might I just can't get myself to like the 200 meter dash.

Why is the KKK against triathlons? They don't believe in the mixing of races.

Why do Paedophiles never win races? They like to come in a little behind...

I'm one of those people who thinks different races shouldn't mix Which is why I don't participate in triathlons

Why don't Germans compete in marathons? They have a sad history of not finishing off races.

Snail Racing My friend owned a racing snail. It never won any races so he removed the shell to make it go faster. Sadly it didn't work, if anything it made it more sluggish

I find certain races unattractive... Marathons are one thing, but triathlons seem like too much trouble.

Why did Hitler always win foot races? He was the fascist one.

Lance Armstrong I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong. Especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races while on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike

I am totally not a racist but... Compared to all the others types of races, I think the 400 meter hurdles present the most barriers for track athletes.

I don't know why they run marathons in Germany.... They have a history of not finishing races.

DATE: So what do you do? ME: I race cars.
HER: That's so cool. Have you won many races?
ME: No, the cars are much faster.

Is it okay to hate certain races? Because I hate the 10k, more of a 5k type of guy.

Is it ok to hate certain races? Because I can't stand doing 5ks.

Is it bad that I hate certain races...? Because the hundred meter dash really irks me.

Did you hear NASCAR and Formula One we're trying to make an Ultimate Showdown race but it got cancelled due to controversy? Apparently NASCAR fans didn't want to mix the races....

I realized why Scandanavians are the fastest runners in the world... ...all their races start near the Finnish line.

Its not surprising that Republicans lost two presidental races to Obama In long races usually the guy from Kenya wins.

Is it okay to hate certain races? My friends want me to do a 10k but I don’t really like running more than 5k at a time.

I'm not racist I love all races Except marathons I hate running

I don't believe in the mixing of the races. I mean it's ridiculous, all those horses would trample the marathoners.

I went to the races and put fifty bucks on a horse that came in at 25 to 1! Unfortunately the rest of the field came in at 12:33.

I think it's important to keep the races separate. Just imagine how unfair it would be for a horse in NASCAR.

We need to stop mixing races. By doing so it creates people with an unfair advantage when it comes to competition. No matter how hard I try I still can't outrun a Nascar.

Why do pedophiles finish last in races? They're always coming in a little behind.

I can't sleep in my bed anymore, my mind races thinking of all the stupid stuff I've done in the past. Stupid memory foam...

Is it ok to hate a certain race? I am fine with 5km races but marathons just do my head in.

I lost all my money betting on horse races. Turns out they can run WAY faster than I can.

They're giving Caitlyn Jenner ANOTHER TV show Apparently, they have her competing in the Olympics again. It's going to be called "Drag Races".

Why can't Priests win races? They're always coming in a little behind.

Why do gazelles always lose races? Cause they're running against cheetahs

I judge Usain Bolt based on his race All of his races, actually.

I think there is nothing cooler than being a lone wolf. except for at wolf picnics, when you don't have a partner for the wolf wheelbarrow races.

I think there's nothing cooler than being a lone wolf ...except at wolf picnics, when you don't have a partner for the wolf wheelbarrow races.

Why does Nancy suck at foot races? Her boots are made for walking

Why do pencil races take so long? Because pencils are stationery.

Did you hear about the guy who could win races while he was asleep? He was fast asleep.

I hate all races... Marathons, motorsports, bmx, etc