Retarded Jokes

So... the girl I lost my virginity to was retarded. I wanted my first time to be special.

A mexican kid tells D. Trump: I want to be President!
Trump says: are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Out of tour mind? Are you retarded?
Kid says: you know what, never mind those are too many requirements.

I said to my girlfriend..... I said to my girlfriend, "Now remember, my mother is very old, so speak nice and slow and very loud."

Then I said to my perfectly capable mother, "By the way, my girlfriend is slightly retarded."

What fun that was...

I told my girlfriend that mom is deaf, so be sure to speak loud and slow… Told mom that my girlfriend is retarded…

I'm introducing my girlfriend to my parents for the first time tonight I told my girlfriend my parents were partially deaf, so she has to speak loud and slow. I told my parents my girlfriend is retarded.....this should be an interesting night.

I lost my virginity to a retarded girl last night... I wanted my first time to be special.

What did the retarded kid get on his IQ test? Drool

Why is flour retarded? Because it's in-bread.

no idea! I told my boyfriend that my mom is old so she
needs to speak slowly and loud. Then I told
my mom my boyfriend is retarded. They have
no idea!

There is only one thing that is more retarded than my sister... Our children

I completely understand parents who choose not to vaccinate their children... ...because they all got vaccinated as children, and obviously turned out retarded.

What do you call a mentally retarded chef? A slow cooker

All sandwiches are retarded... ...because they are inbred.

What do you call Dracula's retarded cousin? Countdown

This was a joke I heard on TV some time ago ... Thought it was worth a share.

Retarded Me: I just put my laundry in the fridge. Sometimes I think I am retarded.

Friend: Oh! I do that all the time.

Me: Put clothes in the fridge?

Friend: No. Think that you are retarded.

How are mashed potatoes similar to an online college degree? If it ends up on your wall, you're probably retarded.

My friend asked me if I wanted to watch Countdown with them "What's that?", I replied, "Dracula's retarded brother?"

What's better than getting second place at the special Olympics? Not being retarded

Told the girlfriend that Mum is deaf so speak loud and slow. So i told my mum that the girlfriend is retarded.

What did the asian parents call their retarded son? Sum ting wong

A Mexican kid meets Donald Trump and says to him, “I want to be President one day.” Trump says, “Are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you retarded?” The kid replies, “You know what, I’ve changed my mind. Those are too many requirements.”

What do you call a retarded kid with no arms and one leg. Names.

Management told me in a meeting today that my language is too "insensitive" How retarded is that?

What do you call the birth of a retarded child? A special delivery.

What do mentally retarded parents give their kids? Hand me Downs.

Its not easy Making Fun of Retarded People You Really have to explain it to them

--- Anthony Jeselnik

What’s better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

Hey girl are your parents retarded? Because you're special.

I lost my virginity to a retarded girl last night. I wanted it to be special

How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb? One. And maybe a ladder. They're short, not retarded!!!

What's the difference between a fortune teller and a farmer with retarded bunnies One deals with tarot cards while the other deals with carrot tards.

Brain fade Friend 1: "I just threw the chocolate that I had planned on eating, in the trash can. Sometimes I think I am retarded"

Friend 2: "Oh! I do that as well"

Friend 1: "Put your chocolate in the trash can?"

Friend 2: "No. Think you are retarded"

Fighting on the Internet is like competing in the Special Olympics It doesn't matter who wins, you're both retarded!

Buzzfeed is like Fortnite It's retarded

I lost my virginity to a retarded girl I wanted my first night to be special.

What did the retarded kid get on his math test? Drool

They call me the 47th chromosome Because when I turn up to a party, everyone gets retarded.

What did the Chinese parents name their retarded son? Sum Ting Wong.

I am so incredibly slow at putting up decorations you could say I am ornamentally retarded