Hilarious Rich Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Rich Jokes

Genie: Whats your first wish? Dave: I wish I was rich.
Genie: Granted, what's your second wish?
Rich: I want lots of money.

Score: 9750

Dave rubs a magic lamp and the genie grants him 3 wishes Genie: what will be your first wish?

Dave: I want to be rich

Genie: Granted. What will be your second wish?

Rich: I want a lot of money

Score: 5836

Genie: What is your first wish? joe: i want to be rich.

genie: granted. what is your second wish?

rich: i want lots of money.

Score: 2492

If a rich man dies from a drug overdose, the headline should read "Pills bury dough boy" Credit to my friend Chris

Score: 2381

You can tell Monopoly is an old game... ...because there’s a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.

Score: 1650

Old rich white men selecting strong young black men to work on their fields? I'm not sure about this NFL draft thing.

Score: 1604

Score: 1244

Why are the Irish so rich? Their capital is always Dublin. Hehe

Score: 1053

A conversation with a genie Genie: What is your first wish?

Steve: I want to be rich.

Genie: Granted. Second wish?

Rich: I want lots of money.

Score: 1018

How do you tickle a rich girl? Say “Gucci Gucci Gucci!”

Score: 936

100 years ago everyone had a horse and only the rich had cars. Nowadays everyone has a car and only the rich have horses Oh how the stables have turned

Score: 913

100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has a car and only the rich have horses.

Oh how the stables have turned.

Score: 867

A genie asked, "What’s your first wish?" Steve answered, "I wish I was rich."

And the genie said, "What’s your second wish, Rich?"

Score: 864

You can tell monopoly's an old game... ...because there's a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail

Score: 795

Why does Michael J. Fox make really good milkshakes? Because he’s rich and can afford the best ingredients

Score: 791

If you watch Jeopardy backwards, it's about rich people paying money for answers to questions. That is all.

Score: 659

100 years ago everyone had horses and only the rich had cars. Now everyone has a car and only the rich have horses The stables have turned

Score: 610

You can tell Monopoly is an old game... ...because there's free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.

Score: 589

A man stumbles upon a Genie and is granted 3 wishes. Genie: What is your first wish?

Joe: I want to be rich.

Genie: Granted. What is your second wish?

Rich: I want lots of money.

Score: 583

What do you call a rich Chinese person ? cha ching

Score: 398

How do you spot a rich Ethiopian? By the Rolex around his waist.

Score: 333

I’ve been killing rich parents, throwing spiders at nerdy teens, dumping acid on kids, and calling disabled people mutants. I haven’t created a superhero yet, but it better happen soon because I need to be stopped.

Score: 236

Why does nobody like a rich stone? Because he takes everything for granite.

Score: 235

How did the Pharoah get so rich? He was running a huge pyramid scheme

Score: 229

A 75 year old rich man marries a 20-yo beautiful woman... And a friend of his comes to ask how did he manage to pull that off.

"I told her I was 90".

Score: 226

Why is a river really rich? It’s got two banks.

Score: 194

The American dream: To buy a shovel for 2$, to then sell it for 4$. Then you buy two shovels, and sell those for 8$. Then one of your rich uncles dies and you inherit 1,000,000$

My dad told me this one

Score: 160

100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars, now it's the reverse Oh, how the stables have turned

Score: 137

I'm halfway towards my goal of becoming filthy rich. Now I just have to have to figure out the rich part.

Score: 128

100 years ago everyone had a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich have horses. The stables have turned

Score: 128

Jim finds a genie in a lamp The genie says "you have three wishes to make"

Jim instantly says "I wish I were rich!"

The genie responds, "and for your second wish?"

Rich says "I want lots of money"

Score: 82

Just had a coffee and it was so black and rich, a Kardashian just tried to sleep with it.

Score: 79

Genie: What is your first wish? Steve: I want to be rich.
Genie: Wish granted. What is your second wish?
Rich: I want a lot of money.

Score: 52

A comedian was getting attacked for his routine being too sexist So, he replaced the word "women" with "white, rich, republican women". The audience stopped complaining.

Score: 45

My new invention has made me rich!!! exploding prayer mats, prophets are going through the roof

Score: 45

what do you call a rich Chinese man? Cha Ching

Score: 39

how come Michael J. Fox can make such good milkshakes? because he is rich and can afford high quality ingredients!..

Score: 37

Michael Jackson is the epitome of the American Dream Only in America could a poor, black boy become a rich, white woman

Score: 31

Human-beings get rich as they grow old: Silver in Hair;
Gold in Teeth;
Sugar in Blood;
Precious Stones in Kidney;
And a never ending supply of Gas!

Score: 24

Why doesn't Batman like going to Robin's house? They don't like rich people in Robin's hood

Score: 19

New Rich Jokes

Who was the most successful Transgender and Transrace person in history? Michael Jackson. He grew up a poor, black boy, and died a rich, white woman.

Score: 5

(Cringe alert)How to swear in decent way? You mothertrucker son of the rich!

Score: 3

When I was a child, a man came out of nowhere and stole all my money Now that I'm a rich man, I went back in time to take all my money from me as a child so he can't steal it!

Score: 6

Did you know many famous 17th century composers weren't actually very rich at all? In fact, they were Baroque.

Score: 4

Why are serial killers extremely rich? I don’t know, I guess they just always make a killing.

Score: 10

Rich people used to always have cars And poor people used to have horses now poor people have cars and rich people have horses. The stables have turned.

Score: 2

Why did the rich man try to pick up girls in the anorexia ward? He wanted atrophy wife.

Score: 5

My rich friend just hired a maid who he calls Non Sequitur. Because she’s Latin and does not follow.

Score: 2

What is the difference between a rich and a poor physicist's girlfriend? The poor physicist's girlfriend is the standard model while the rich physicist's girlfriend is a super model

Score: 2

How do you spot a rich Ethiopian man? By the Rolex around his waist

Score: 2

Why don't rich WASPy women participate in orgies? Too many thank you notes to write.

Score: 2

Do you sell a book "How to get rich in three months"? Clerk: "Yes we do sir, can I recommend another book with that, other buyers have found it very useful?"

Guy: "Of course, I would gladly take a look, what is it?"

Clerk: "Penal Code - Commented edition"

Score: 7

Kid comes home from school and says 'Dad, we're gunna be rich tomorrow'. Dad's like 'How?!?!'

'My math teacher said he's gunna teach us converting cents into dollars'.

Score: 6

I went into walmart to buy the album "Get Rich or Die Trying" but I had to dispute the price when it rang up for ten dollars... ... because it clearly says 50 Cent on it.

Score: 8

how would you describe a rich man from wales? he's very welshy

Score: 2

Did you hear about the young, homeless girl who married the rich widower? She didn't waif very long.

Score: 2

After she decided to dump me, my rich ex-girlfriend has been begging me to take her back. I explained that when her family pays the ransom she will be safely returned.

Score: 16

How did the bread maker get rich? He was never short on dough.

Score: 1

I like to steal from the poor and give to the rich It's called robbing the hood.

Score: 10

A bunch of rich redheads moved my family out of the neighborhood. I never thought much of gingerfication until it happened to me.

Score: 6

When I was born I had the choice of being rich or having a good memory... I remember like it was yesterday!

Score: 5

What do you call a rich guy on a diet? Big Splenda

Score: 1

My rich father just REFUSES to die! It's unbereaveable!

Score: 5

Three reasons I'm not rich: 1. I'm lazy.

Score: 6

I like my women like I like my coffee Rich, white, and creamy

Score: 13

I like my women like I like my cheese Thick, white, and rich.

Score: 14

How do you recognize a rich Ethiopian? He wears a Rolex around his waist.

Score: 19

How do programmers get rich? Inheritance.

Score: 2

Why are oysters Rockefeller called oysters Rockefeller? Because they are very rich.

Score: 2

A rich guy and his wife both died and their caskets were driven in separate cars... His and Hearse.

Score: 6

Many rich people are sad. I'd like to be sad too!

Score: 3

I will stop showering and then change my name into Richard. That way I will become filthy rich.

Score: 3

My friend became rich after starting a home business selling human organs. Now he's dead.

Score: 8

My teen daughter said, "Dad, treat me like a princess, it's my birthday." So I married her off to a rich 32 year old dude to strengthen my alliance with France who then had her beheaded after giving birth to a daughter.

Score: 2

Today I, 1. Woke up. 2. Got rich. 3. Moved to the moon. In this order: 3,2,1

Score: 2

Why was the circumcision doctor so rich ? He kept all of the tips

Score: 14

If I ever get rich, I hope I am not real mean to poor people Like I am now

Score: 3

How much in royalties did 50 Cent get paid by Republicans? It's obviously a cover of Get Rich or Die Tryin'

Score: 6

What Do You Call a Rich Clown Penny Wise

Score: 4

"I just burned a hundred dollar bill" "Wow, rich guy eh?"

"No, it was a bill from my dentist."

Score: 2

I guess Aaron Hernandez and I are not too different after all I too would kill to be a rich and famous football player

Score: 1

If I got a penny everytime . . . If I got a penny everytime I got a penny, I'd be infinitely rich.

Score: 5

What do you call a very rich fallout 4 fan? Kim Jong Un

Score: 1

What do you call a rich figure skater? A 7 figure skater

Score: 5

I met a homeless man His name was Rich.

Score: 1

What drives the rich & powerful to rape? their chauffeurs

Score: 5

What do you call a sociopath from a rich family? .....President

Score: 1

what do you call a young woman dating an older rich man? Investment

Score: 4

A rich guy dies and goes to the gates of heaven. He offers Peter gold, thinking he can buy his way in. Peter looks at it and says, "You brought me pavement?"

Score: 18

Why is a river so rich? Because it has two banks

Score: 9

My rich uncle just passed away so I recently came into some money But now the bills are all stuck together

Score: 9

A rich, an average, and a poor vampire walk into a vampire bar... Rich Vampire: I'll have the most expensive pure blood you have.
Average Vampire: Just your regular blood please.
Poor Vampire: Do you have hot water? I found a used tampon, I'm having tea.

Score: 1

How do you call an insanely rich proton that spent all of his money to become an electron? Ex centric

Score: 6

Q. What do clouds do when they become rich? A. They make it rain!

Score: 3

How do you spot a rich Ethiopian? He's wearing a watch around his waist.

Score: 2

In Harry Potter, as soon as Harry gets his inheritance money, he starts blowing it on stupid stuff off the trolley In the wizarding world, I believe they call that "Muggle rich"

Score: 2

What do poor people have, rich people want? And if you eat it you die. It's nothing

Score: 1

Why are fat people so rich? Because they have lots of pounds.

Score: 1

What do rich people and bad flossers have in common? Deep pockets.

Score: 1

What does a rich physicist wear? Joulery!

Score: 4