Hilarious Sand Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Sand Jokes

I lose my White friends in the snow, I lose my Black friends at night, I lose my Asian friends in the sand, where do I lose my Arab friends? In an explosion.

Score: 1214

What do you call a witch that only eats sand? Malnourished

Score: 533

Score: 471

Lost: bucket of sand, silt, and gravel Great sedimental value.

(I can't take credit. Read it in a university paper 20 years ago.)

Score: 229

Two guys were walking though the Sahara They suddenly see a tiger approaching .

One guy throws sand in the tiger's eyes and he runs away.

The other guy keeps standing still.

"RUN MAN, WHY ARE YOU STANDING STILL??"

"Well I didn't throw the sand at him"

Score: 145

My sister asked me to bring something hard to write on... I don’t know why she got mad. I mean, sand’s pretty hard to write on.

Score: 145

Where are you when you're eating an Eggo on the beach and you drop it in the sand? San Diego

(thought of this myself, it's better spoken)

Score: 126

I love relaxing with some sand paper It's just a little something to take the edge off

Score: 124

At 70, she still had a body like an hourglass Brittle and full of sand

Score: 93

How does an Arab farmer find his goat in the sand dunes? Very satisfying.

Score: 91

I hate it when.. I hate it when my black friend disappears in the dark,

My white friend in snow,

My Chinese friend in sand,

And my Middle-Eastern friend in drone strikes.

Score: 88

What do you call a witch who only eats sand? Malnourished.

Score: 67

Why can't you starve in the desert? Because of the sand which is there.

Score: 63

You'll never starve in the desert... Because of all the sand-which-is there.

Score: 48

I saw a single set of footprints in the sand... "Lord," I asked, "why is there but one set of footprints in the sand?"

"My child," he tenderly replied, "Those are Chris Christie's."

Score: 36

What's the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

Score: 35

I don't understand why people starve when stranded in deserts... There is the sand which is everywhere.

Score: 31

What do you call a waffle that's been buried in sand? Sandiego

(The first joke I ever made as a kid)

Score: 28

Why are leggings and sand the same? They both get stuck in camel toe.

Score: 22

Why can't you starve in a desert? Because of all the sand which is there.

Score: 22

I’m not addicted to sand paper I just need something to take the edge off

Score: 22

what did the sea say to the sand? Nothing it just waved

Score: 21

What’s the difference between a truck loaded with sand and a truck loaded with babies? You can’t unload the sand with a pitchfork.

Score: 20

Did I tell you about my attempt to grow bananas in sand? It was fruitless.

Score: 19

A company of the French Foreign Legion are lost in the desert... The Captain assembles his men and says: "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is... we have run out of food and there is nothing to eat but sand. The good news is... there's plenty."

Score: 19

I'd make a joke about quick sand... However, it'd probably take a while to sink in.

Score: 19

What did a pile of sand say to another in sahara Long time no sea

Score: 18

Stupid kid joke: Why was the sand at the beach wet? Because the sea wee'd.

Score: 16

What do you call Trump and Hillary buried up to their necks in sand? Progress

Score: 15

A man is playing basketball with his son... “Son, if you can make this shot, I’ll get you a new amp for that guitar you play. But if you miss, you have to eat this bag of sand. What’ll it be? &?”

Score: 15

A boy and a girl are playing naked in the sand, when the boy starts laughing at the girl that she does not have a peepee. The girl just grins and says... When I grow up, I will have as many peepees as I like.

Score: 14

Why was the sand wet? Because the sea-weed.

*First joke my 4 year old son learnt

Score: 11

What do you call a witch from the Middle East? A sand witch

Score: 10

What's the difference between a container with sand and a container with babies in it? I can't use a pitchfork to empty the container with sand.

Score: 10

I would never go hungry if I got stranded on a beach Because of all of the sand which is there

Score: 8

I lost my white friend in the snow, I lost my black friend in the dark, I lost my Asian friend in the sand, I lost my Muslim friend in an explosion.

Score: 8

What do you call 4 Mexicans sinking in quick sand? cuatro sinko

Score: 7

Why was the sand wet? The seaweed.

Score: 7

Borders in the Middle-East don't matter so much... You're just drawing lines in the sand.

Score: 7

American politics is like sand It's coarse and gets everywhere.

Score: 6

New Sand Jokes

Burt and Ernie started a restoration company where they sand down old wooden antiques It was called Bernie Sanders

Get out and vote

Score: 1

Do you know why you can’t starve in the desert? Because of all the sand which is there.

Source: I’m a dad.

Score: 3

Me and my wife had a really nice time at the seaside last summer We burried each other in the sand when we were at the beach. First she burried me, than I burried here. I’m going next summer there as well, to dig her up.

Score: 0

What happens when you put a witch inbetween 2 bread pieces and sprinkle it with sand? A Sandwich

Score: 0

Why is it impossible to die of hunger in a desert? Because of all the sandwiches there (sand which is there).

Score: 2

A peasant gives a priest his sandwich, who responds by immediately throwing it into the river When the meal fails to resurface, the priest breathes a sigh of relief knowing now the peasant's lunch was just a sand.

Score: 2

Went to the beach the other day and I ran into my science teacher. She was there with her sister being buried in the sand. Her entire body was covered except one spot and that’s when she yelled... “Hey! Get Mitosis”

Score: 2

What do you call a wizard that only eats sand? Still Malnourished

Score: 2

Some women are like course sand paper They’re great at stripping!

Score: 0

A husband and wife moved from one sand castle house to another The wife divorced him the next day. She was furious he had another beach.

Score: 1

What happens is Soviet socialism comes to Saudi Arabia? For the first five years, nothing, and then there will be a shortage of sand.

Score: 3

Why can you never go hungry at the beach? Because of all the sand which is there.

Score: 5

I asked my girlfriend if the sand is too coarse. She said, "Nah, it's fine."

Score: 2

A wave came in and washed away the sand castle I spent hours making.. but it's ok, they weren't my sediments exactly

Score: 1

A pirate comes across a skull just sitting there randomly in the sand crying. The pirate asks "Why are you crying?" The skull replies through its tears " I'm all alone, I have nobody!"

Score: 5

Sand How do you call a sand which has electric charge?

Ampersand.

Score: 2

Why did the Sand Trooper go to the library? He had a book dewback.

Score: 1

What did one green bean say to the other green bean? "How ya bean?"

What did one sand dune say to the other sand dune?

"How ya dune?"

What did the green bean say to the sand dune?

"How ya bean dune?"

Score: 3

why do seaguls go to the beach because there's sand wich is what they like

Score: 2

How come the sand was wet? Because the seaweed.

Score: 3

Why do seagulls go to the beach? Because of the sand, which is there!

Score: 5

Most people like water witches But when I haven't eaten in a day or two, I always prefer sand witches.

Score: 1

Irony Out of all the 9 irons, pitching wedges, and sand wedges tiger woods has.. you'd think he has a driver that works

Score: 1

Why did the drowned sailor's wife punch the sand? Because that beach stole her man.

Score: 2

What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper? Ruff ruff

Score: 1

What do you call 25 lawyers buried neck-high in sand? not enough sand

Score: 3

What's the difference between a truckload of sand and a truckload of babies? You can't unload sand with a pitchfork

Score: 6

Two grains of sand are in the desert... ... suddenly, one of them turns to the other one and says: "Look! We're surrounded!".

Score: 2

What would you find on a spooky beach? A sand-witch!

Score: 1

Why will you never go hungry in a desert? Because of all the sand which is there.

Score: 1

Two grains of sand in the desert.. The first one turns around and says to his friend: "Dude, I think we are being followed".

I'll see myself out.

Score: 1

What did the dog say when he sat on sand paper? Ruff

Score: 4