Hilarious Serious Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Serious Jokes

Tide has some serious ad time during the superbowl this year Must be able to afford it after cornering the teenage snack food market

Score: 15075

Man says to his boss “Can we talk? I have a problem.” Boss says “Problem? No such thing, we call it an opportunity!”

Man says “Ok I have a serious drinking opportunity.”

Score: 14865

I've been dating this homeless chick for a while now and it's starting to get serious. She asked me to move out with her.

Score: 8253

I jokingly told my friend I was collecting the corpses of past emperors of Russia and dumping them into a giant ravine, but he thought I was serious and asked what was wrong with me. I guess he just doesn't understand tsar chasm.

Score: 1558

How about an Indian joke? A nice Indian woman gets up mid-flight to the US and shouts "Is there a doctor here?"

A nice, serious guy approaches her quickly and tells her: "I am. What is the problem?"

She replies: "Do you want to meet my daughter?"

Score: 1507

Score: 941

A man wakes up in the hospital after a serious accident He shouts "Doctor, Doctor I can't feel my legs!"

The Doctor replies, "I know, we amputated your arms."

Score: 615

A Jewish woman gets up mid-flight to the US and shouts: "Is there a doctor here?" A nice, serious guy approaches her quickly and tells her: "I am. What is the problem?"

She replies: "Do you want to meet my daughter?"

Score: 406

I just passed my drug test My dealer has some serious explaining to do

Score: 395

A toilet was stolen from a police station today... It's a pretty serious crime. The police have nothing to go on.

Score: 323

I've been dating a homeless woman recently and I think it's getting serious... She's asked me to move out with her...

Score: 294

'Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom.' The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him.

The man asks: 'Is it serious, doctor?' and the doctor replies: 'I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg.'

Score: 277

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I'm serious! That Israeli how he does it!

Score: 272

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. I'm serious, that Israeli what he does.

Score: 270

A man died due to his obsession of taking photos of himself next to a boiling kettle He had serious selfie steam issues.

Score: 223

I told my boss that I'm quitting my job to become a comedian. He said, "You can't be serious."

I said, "I know."

Score: 219

A guy with a “Baby on Board” sticker just backed out of a parking spot and directly hit my car. This guy has serious issues with pulling out.

Score: 170

“Boss, I’ve got a probl..” Boss: There’s no such thing as a problem. There are only opportunities.

Man: Oh ok. Then I have a serious drug opportunity.

Score: 139

Why so serious? A lady asked me if I thought she was wearing to much makeup.
I told her it depends ...
on whether she was trying to kill Batman or not.

Score: 130

My music teacher at school told me never to hit a drum again or I could get in serious trouble. I did, and he was right. There was serious re-percussions

Score: 122

Can we take a serious moment to raise awareness about the North Atlantic Garbage Patch? Not enough people really talk about England very much

Score: 122

I've been dating a homeless women recently and I think it's getting serious... she asked me to move out with her.

Score: 107

I'm 35 and I've never been in a serious relationship. My wife wouldn't like to hear that, though.

Score: 105

My favorite psychiatrist joke A man gets mugged on the street and is lying on the ground, suffering from his wounds. A psychiatrist happens to walk by and sees the man and says, "Whoever did this to you needs some serious help!"

Score: 84

I've been dating a homeless girl So I've been dating this homeless girl.

Things are getting pretty serious.

She asked me to move out with her.

Score: 79

My friend is addicted to taking blurry pictures of himself in the shower. He has some serious selfie steam issues.

Score: 72

An Indian woman jumps up mid flight and shouts 'is there a doctor on the plane?' A nice, serious guy approaches quickly and says 'i'm a doctor, what's the problem?'

She replies 'Would you like to meet my daughter?'

Score: 68

I jokingly told my friend I was collecting the bodies of past emperors of Russia and dumping them into a giant ravine, but he thought I was serious and asked what was wrong with me. I guess he just doesn't understand tsar chasm.

Score: 65

I'm giving up negativity for lent. We'll see how long that lasts.

Edit: aware it should be pessimism. This is a serious quote from a friend who didn't realise what she'd said.

Score: 61

I’ve been dating a homeless woman recently, and I think it’s starting to get serious… She’s asked me to move out with her.

Score: 58

Finally found out why MTV doesn't do crossover episodes The FCC had some serious problems with "Pimp my Pregnant 16 Year Old."

Score: 49

Why do Japanese people look so serious in pictures? Last time they saw a flash it destroyed their country

Score: 22

Never get in a serious relationship with a tennis player. Because love means nothing to them.

Score: 21

Mario sits Princess Peach down to have a serious talk. Peach, we've been together a long time, I've saved you countless times, but I just can't go on any longer.

But I want you to know, it's not you, itsa me, Mario.

Score: 20

US has serious problem with illegal immigrants. If you don’t believe me ask any Native American.

Score: 19

I'm in a serious relationship with my WIFI You could say we have a strong connection.

Score: 17

I came back from vacation with a serious addiction ...to the hokey-pokey, but I turned myself around.

Score: 15

My friend is addicted to taking blurry pictures of himself while he’s taking a shower. He has serious selfie steam issues.

Score: 14

Was Snoop Dogg being serious when he changed his name? Or was Snoop Lion ?

Score: 14

I'm always trying to make jokes at my work place... But in a graveyard, everyone is dead serious

Score: 11

New Serious Jokes

What do you call a serious man with a scythe that sneaks around outside people’s windows? The grim peeper.

Score: 6

Everybody always says I'm a bad joker After every joke, I ask my audience "Why so serious?"

Score: 0

Person 1 Asked Person 2 To Name A European Country Person 1: Come on, you can name one!

Person 2: Norway.

Person 1: Are you serious?! You're not going to answer?

Person 2: There's Norway im telling you!

Score: 3

If pewdiepie had a serious battle in minecraft, what would his team be called? svengers

Score: 2

My girlfriend emailed me pictures of the first trip we took together, but I couldn’t open any of the files. I might have serious emotional attachment issues.

Score: 3

[SERIOUS] What classified military equipment would make life easier? We don't know.

Score: 1

My wife said I need to start being more environmentally friendly... I could tell she was serious because she said, "This is the last straw!"

Score: 6

My friend is addicted to taking blurry pictures of himself while he’s taking a shower. He has some serious selfie steam issues.

Score: 4

My father has a serious problem with Thanksgiving leftovers, he won't stop till they're gone So he quit cold turkey

Score: 1

Kids in Hawaii are tough. Some say they are the toughest kids in the USA. Their play time is deadly serious. They are the world champions in 'The floor is lava'.

Score: 6

I really like the new Subreddit-profile-pic on top. No. Serious. Get Trump back there. That's the only top where he deserves to be.

Score: 2

if the answer is serious, risky, and heroic. what is the question? what is the speed settings on the world's most powerful vibrator?

Score: 2

What's the difference between fairies and angels For some reason one is taken serious.

Score: 7

I was once addicted to commitment issues. I quit before it got serious.

Score: 9

I just joined a gym for real serious stoners. *24 Hour Litness*

Score: 2

I wrote a silly comment about Poe's Law being named after Edgar Allen Poe but for some reason people thought I was serious.

Score: 2

If the United States is serious about stopping Kim Jong Un Just send in Cam Newton - he'll overthrow Kim.

Score: 7

Why should you never take a young cat serious? Because it's only kittin'

Score: 1

They thought the Night Kings threats were a bluff But he was dead serious

Score: 2

What's The Difference Between People, Who Pray In Temple And People Who Pray In A Casino? Those praying In Casino Are More Serious.

Score: 6

After a serious accident which has led to a broken leg, there are many inspirational things you can say. Apparently, "Mein Furher, I can walk!" *isn't* one of them.

Score: 1

Doctor: You have a very rare and serious illness, you only have 10 to live. Patient: 10 what? 10 months? 10 weeks?

Doctor: 9

Score: 2

Do you think corpses are funny? They are dead serious.

Score: 3

Guys, I'm a VAMPIRE. I'm dead serious.

Score: 2

A fisherman goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, can you help me!? I've hurt my hand!" The doctor takes a look and says, "It's nothing too serious, you've pulled a mussel."

Score: 4

A Polish couple were at a drive-in... ...and they were making out, and things were getting serious.

She looks at him with a shy grin and asks, "Do you want to go to the back seat?"

He laughs and says, "No way! I'm staying up here with you!"

Score: 2

If ISIS was serious about killing Europeans It would sell cheap building supplies

Score: 1

Making fun of black people for laughs... Is serious dark humour.

Score: 1

I think I finally understand these dating apps They all include they want something serious and long-term, so I went on a date last week, and gave her herpes.

Score: 8

There are some shadows around town. They've been throwing some serious shade at me.

Score: 2

Aaron Hernandez should've been the punter... Cause he's got some serious hang time

Score: 1

This is serious... Can someone please tell me how to remember jokes? I am a smart guy, but for the life of me I can't remember jokes -especially the really great ones.

Score: 2

My frog went to prison the other day... He kermitted a serious crime!

Score: 6

When you have too many spoilt drumsets and cymbals in a band... It might have consequences for the music. One might even say there will be serious...

Repercussions.

Score: 1

I had a trig teacher that could never stay focused... He always went off on a tangent.

I don't know for certain, but it could be a sine of something serious.

Score: 5

Why isn't Pinocchio in a serious relationship? Because he wants no strings attached.

Score: 4

Are you serious No, I'd have to change my name for that

Score: 1

I'm dating a palm tree. It's nothing serious though. Just fronds with benefits.

Score: 1

Before my Girlfriend moved in I had one night stand... Things are getting pretty serious, we now have two night stands.

Score: 6

Why can't anyone tell a funnier joke? Fun E.R. jokes don't exist, because life and death situations are serious business.

Score: 1

I heard that wordplay was illegal. Apparently there is serious PUNishment.

Score: 5

Doc, I swallowed a chicken bone. "Are you choking?"

"No I'm serious!"

Score: 4

What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement? What're you asking me for? I have Asperger's.

Score: 2

My wife lost her mind when i told her i was seeing someone new. I mean, is going to a new doctor really that serious?

Score: 4

I told my friend that I quit my job to become a writer. He said, "Take your life seriously."

I told him that writing is my passion and I'm quite serious about it.

Then he said "No dude, take your life, seriously.."

Score: 1