Hilarious Shell Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Shell Jokes

My girlfriend got a tattoo of a shell on her thigh Every time I lay my ear on it I can smell the sea.

Score: 1500

I removed the shell from my racing snail to make it go faster but it just made it more sluggish.

Score: 1314

I had a racing snail, I thought it would be faster if I removed it's shell... It only made it more sluggish.

Score: 911

I entered a my pet snail into a race and removed its shell thinking it would make it faster... Unfortunately, it only made it more sluggish.

Score: 851

As a kid I always thought a snail would move faster without its shell... But they only became more sluggish

Score: 468

I pulled the shell off of my snail to make him faster Turned out it had the opposite effect, now he's a little sluggish.

Score: 435

I wanted to make my racing snail faster.. So I took off its shell. If anything it became a lot more sluggish.

Score: 414

You'd think a snail would be faster without it's shell, But it's actually more sluggish...

Score: 373

Score: 334

How do you make a racing snail faster? I tried taking his shell off but it only made him more sluggish.

Score: 299

I took the shell off of my pet snail because I thought it would make him move faster ...if anything, it made him more sluggish

Score: 289

Someone told me that if you hold a Shell up you can hear the sea. All i got was 6 years for armed robbery.

Score: 220

I removed the shell from my racing snail thinking he'd be faster.. He's actually more sluggish now.

Score: 178

My girlfriend has a tattoo of a conch shell on her inner thigh. When I put my ear to it, I can smell the ocean.

Score: 173

Today I decided to take the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him move faster... If anything he seems more sluggish!

Score: 168

What did the Python say when he came out of his shell? Print("Hello World!")

Score: 166

I had a racing snail... To make him more aero-dynamic I took off its shell. If anything it made him more sluggish

Score: 154

My girlfriend has a tattoo of a sea shell on her inner thigh.

If you put your ear to it, I swear you could smell the ocean.

Score: 151

Snail Racing My friend owned a racing snail. It never won any races so he removed the shell to make it go faster. Sadly it didn't work, if anything it made it more sluggish

Score: 143

I used to have a a racing snail that kept losing. I decided to remove its shell to try and speed it up, if anything it made it more sluggish.

Score: 133

I took the shell of my racing snail thinking it would make him run faster. If anything, it made him more sluggish

Score: 126

I thought my snail's shell was weighing him down, but after I removed it he appeared even more sluggish.

Score: 114

I took the shell off my racing snail, hoping it would make him faster. But, unfortunately, it just made him more sluggish.

Score: 108

I had a racing snail. I thought that if I removed it's shell, it would move faster. Instead it only made it more sluggish.

Score: 108

I bought myself a snail to race other snails.. I took its shell off to see if it would go any faster.
If anything it just made it more sluggish

Score: 106

Why do mermaids wear seashell bras? Because the B-shell bras were too small and the D-shell bras were too big.

Score: 106

I took the shell off my racing snail... ... thinking it would make it go faster. If anything it just made it more sluggish.

Score: 92

Racing snail. My racing snail hadn't been out for a while, so i took his shell off to make him more streamlined. Unfortunately, it just made him more sluggish.

Score: 89

I took the shell off my racing snail to speed it up. If anything it made it more sluggish.

Score: 89

I wanted to help my pet snail. He was really slow like, so one day I took off his shell, thought it'd make him more streamlined. Turns out it didn't. It made him more sluggish.

Score: 86

I took the shell off my racing snail... I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster.
If anything, it made him more sluggish.

Score: 68

My girlfriend got a tattoo of a conch shell on her inner thigh... Every time I lay my ear on it I can smell the ocean.

If I lie there long enough, I get crabs on my forehead.

Score: 40

A blonde gets a tattoo... ...On her inner thigh of a conch shell.

Friend: Why did you get a conch shell tattoo on your inner thigh?

Blonde: So that when you put your ear against it you can smell the ocean.

Score: 36

I tried to make my racing snail faster by taking off its shell But that just made it more sluggish

Score: 32

What's the difference between a hard and soft shell taco from Taco Bell? About 25 seconds in the microwave.

Score: 15

A blonde gets a tattoo... On her inner thigh of a conch shell.

Her friend asks "Why a conch shell, and why there of all places?"

"So that when you put your ear against it, you can smell the ocean."

Score: 13

I took my pet snail’s shell off to see if he could go faster. But now he’s just more sluggish.

Score: 12

I tried to give iodine a full electron shell... ...but iodide.

Score: 12

I didn’t hear the sea when I held a Shell up I did, however, get six years in jail for armed robbery of a petrol station.

Score: 11

What do you call a snail with PTSD? Shell-shocked.

Score: 10

New Shell Jokes

What does a snail do when they’re in bankruptcy? They shell out!

Score: 0

There was a snail moving slowly in my backyard I decided to take his shell off to see if it would move a bit quicker.

It didn’t work, all it did was make it a bit sluggish.

Score: 3

I saw a snail moving very slowly in my backyard... I decided to take his shell off to see if it would move a bit quicker.

It didn’t work, all it did was make it a bit sluggish.

Score: 4

I have a pet racing snail and I thought if I removed its shell it would go even faster... but now it seems more sluggish

Score: 7

What does an oyster use when its shell is dry? Oysterizer

Score: 5

What do you call a shell fish from China? A Crust-Asian

Score: 2

What do you call a shell fish from China?a A Crust-Asian

Score: 3

I had a snail when I was a kid The snail was moving very slowly so I thought if I took his shell off he might move a bit quicker.

He ended up just being a bit sluggish.

Score: 5

Someone told me if you take a snail out of its shell, it'll move faster. But actually, it just makes them more sluggish.

Score: 5

My snail entered a race, I took off his shell to make him faster. But It backfired. If anything it made him more sluggish...

Score: 7

Girl are you a turtle? Because your hot as shell

Score: 1

I thought taking the shell off of my snail would make it go faster But it just made it sluggish.

Score: 1

Why dont crabs donate to charity? Because they are shell fish.

Score: 3

If you were to describe me in a nutshell... ... it would probably be in a fetal position pushing against the sides hoping that the shell would break.

Score: 2

I took the shell off my racing snail so that he would go faster but now he is a little sluggish.

Score: 8

I took the shell off my racing snail thinking it would make him faster If anything it made him more sluggish

Score: 6

Did you hear about the snail that thought it might be able to go faster if it removed it's shell? Did you hear about the snail that thought it might be able to go faster if it removed it's shell?

It actually ended up being more sluggish

Score: 4

What did the Mexican guy say about the 🐌 's shell? Es cargo

Score: 1

My wife has a shell tattood on her upper thigh.. And if you lay your ear on top of it, you can smell the sea.

Score: 8

Panama Papers: Kim Jong-un among the latest release of persons involved in offshore shell companies. Kim Jong-un was discovered to be sending most of his food to off-shore accounts to avoid the common folk of North Korea from eating it.

Score: 2

My daughter seriously asked me "how do fish talk to each other?" My response...
With their shell phones!

Score: 2

what do you call a crab who will do anything to survive in the ocean? a shell out

Score: 3