Hilarious Sister Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Sister Jokes

"Hey dad why is my sister called Teresa ?" "Because your mum loves easter and it's an anagram of easter !"

"Thanks dad !"

"No problem Alan"

Score: 18979

Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?" Father: "Ask your sister.”

Daughter: "I don't have a si-"

Score: 16080

Score: 9443

Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your sister It tastes the same but it's just not right.

Score: 7901

My sister bet me $15 that I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta.

Score: 5320

After years of complaining from my wife, I finally found the G-spot. Turns out her sister had it all along...

Score: 5304

Two kids were talking... Kid 1: I bet you're a virgin

Kid 2: I was a virgin, until last night!

Kid 1: Lies!

Kid 2: Ask your sister.

Kid 1: Ha! I don't have a sister!

Kid 2: You will in about nine months!

Edit: Thanks for the support guys!

Score: 3733

My 7 year old nephew told this joke to my sister : what's the first thing you do after waking up and the last thing you do before going to bed? Nephew: Brushing your teeth!

Mom: oh honey that's not a joke.

Nephew: it is if you think that's what I do!

Score: 3591

Non-alcoholic beer is a lot like going down on your sister... it tastes the same, but it's just not right.

Score: 2750

A friend got mad at me for smelling his sister's underwear. I don't know if it was because she was still wearing them or because the rest of the family was there. Either way it made the rest of the funeral very awkward.

Score: 2539

Me: *slapping my older brother in the face with his own hand* Me: stop hitting yourself haha, why do you keep hitting yourself

Sister-in-law: ~crying~ is this why you wanted an open casket

Score: 2329

My city is holding their annual incest competition... I've entered my sister...

Score: 2252

A man cheats with his wife's sister Man: Calm down! You haven't heard my side of the story!

Wife: You slept with my sister!

Man: When i got to work she was just laying there naked on my table! What was I supposed to do?!

Wife: The autopsy!

PS: Didnt make this up

Score: 1822

My dad was always drunk when I was a kid The punchline?

It was my mom, then my sister, then me

Score: 1740

My little sister made a face at my mom and said "Guess who I am?" My mom answered "Who?"

"Your daughter"

courtesy of my 4 year old sister about 20 minutes ago

Score: 1587

Kid 1: "Hey I bet you're still a virgin " Kid 2: "Yeah I was a virgin until last night"

Kid 1: "As if"

Kid 2: "Yeah just ask your sister"

Kid 1: "I don't have a sister"

Kid 2: "You will in about nine months"

Score: 1448

Son: Dad, why is my sister named Teresa? Dad: She's named after something your mother loves, Easter! It's an anagram.

Son: Thanks dad.

Dad: No problem Alan.

Score: 1311

"Dad, why is my sister called Paris?" "Because we conceived her in Paris."
"Ahh, thanks Dad! "
"You're welcome, Backseat."

Score: 1300

I finally found my wife's G-spot! Who would have thought her sister had it the whole time?

Score: 1273

What do you call a cow with no legs? My severely diabetic sister.

Score: 1249

I recently discovered I can move my sister's daughters through the air with my brain but not her sons. I think I have telekinieces.

Score: 1199

My friend got mad at me for smelling his sister's underwear. I don't know if it was because she was still wearing them... Or because the rest of the family was there... Either way, it made the rest of the funeral really awkward.

Score: 1140

"A cannibal once took my sister to see a Russell Crowe film" "Gladiator?"

"No, I really miss her"

Score: 1039

My family is furious at me for implying my Sister in an idiot for not vaccinating her child... I suppose the funeral wasn’t the right place to say it.

Score: 949

I went to an Oasis gig with my sister in 1995. When they came out onto the stage I shouted, "Go Oasis!"

Then my sister left.

Score: 880

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. you should've seen the look on her face when i drove pasta

Score: 795

My deaf sister asked me if I wanted to hear a joke I said: Sure.

She said: Me too!

Score: 711

My sister bet me I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti... You should have seen her face as I drove pasta

Score: 705

"Hurt me!" she cried, jumping onto the bed and stripping her clothes off seductively... "Alright," I said. "You're a terrible cook and I fancy your sister."

Score: 690

During an argument with my wife, she dropped the old "why did you even marry me?" line. Apparently "Your sister was already taken" was not the right answer.

Score: 680

Found my wife's G Spot lastnight! Turns out her sister had it the whole time!

Score: 645

Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion? "Ask your sister"

I don't have a...

Score: 477

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti: You should've seen the look on her face as i drove pasta!

Score: 397

My best friend got mad at me sniffing his sister's panties It didn't help that they were still on her. Or that all of his family was there too. Needless to say it made the rest of the funeral really awkward.

Score: 326

A boy wrote Santa: "please send me a sister". Santa wrote back: "Alright, send me your mother".

Score: 309

What’s baked every day and sells itself? My sister.

Score: 280

My wife once asked me if I would ever sleep with her sister if we split up. “Which sister?” is not the correct answer.

Score: 264

My sister made me some coffee today Me: You make a mean cup of coffee, sis

Her: It was good?

Me: I just said it was average.

Score: 261

-Dad,why is my sister named Teresa? +Because your mother loves easter.Teresa is an anagram for Easter.

-Thanks Dad

+No problem,Alan.

Score: 236

What's the hardest part about hearing your sister has AIDS? Acting surprised

Score: 207

New Sister Jokes

I called my boss to say, ‘sorry I can’t come in today, I’m sick.’ He asked, ‘how sick are you?’

I said; ‘well, I’m in bed with my sister’

Score: 36

My wife said she wanted to be surprised for her birthday So I took her sister to Hawaii for a week

Score: 13

My home town are having their annual incest competition... I’m thinking of entering my sister.

Score: 12

“My wife’s identical twin sister is living with us till she finds a job” I said to my friend

He asked “ do you know how to tell them apart ?”

I remarked “ why should I ?”

Score: 84

My wife asked me what I would do if she left me Apparently "your sister" wasn't the right answer.

Score: 42

My sister is pregnant, and suddenly said, “He’s kicking!” So I punched her in the stomach. Can’t believe her son thinks it’s okay to hit women.

Score: 59

what did the brother cell says to his sister cell when she stomp on his toe? mitosis

Score: 10

My eight year old sister asked me what my unlucky number was "2009"

Score: 68

My parents just told me they’d love another child. I said, “I’d love a little brother or sister!” They said, “That’s not what we meant.”

Score: 13

I bet my sister that I could make a car out of spaghetti.... ...you should have seen her face when I drove pasta

Score: 74

What is mitosis? It's what you say when your sister steps on your foot.

Score: 12

What did one cell say to his sister cell when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis

Score: 10

My wife asked me what I thought the sexiest thing was about her. Apparently, "how much you look like your sister" was not the correct answer.

Score: 137

My sister walked up to me this morning and with disgusted look on her face said to me: ‘You’re on drugs again!!!’ She could be right.. I’m an only child.

Score: 191

"Dad, why did you name me Rain?" Dad: "Because rain was the first thing that fell on you"

Rain: "Oh, I never knew that. Is that why my sister is named Snow as well?"

Dad: "Yes, you are absolutely right"

*a baby cries in the corner*

Dad: Shut up Brick!

Score: 16

"Dad, why is my sister called Rose?" "Becausr your mother likes roses."

"Thanks dad"

"No problem Alex."

Score: 36

Son: Why is my sister called Teresa? Dad: Coz your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram

Son: Thanks dad

Dad: No problem Alan

Score: 190

My best friend caught me sniffing his sister's panties It didn't help that they were still on her. Or that all of his family was there too. He did call the cops though. Needless to say it made the rest of her funeral really awkward.

Score: 26

Before going to party my dad said, "Don't bring any girls home, tonight." That was pretty harsh I thought, considering my sister went with me.

Score: 27

I can't believe my sister's new boyfriend is black.. I mean.. She said she met him at work..

Edit: Relax people - I don't even have a sister...

Score: 11

There's an incest competition in my town this weekend. I'm going to enter my sister.

Score: 159

I tripped on a bra in my sister's room It was a booby trap

Score: 12

My sister is moaning and screaming in her bedroom because she is sick. I'm happy that her boyfriend is there to comfort her.

Score: 118

My sister bet me I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!

Score: 21

My sister has just had a baby and she has decided to call him Mark, with a C. Cark.

Score: 15

My 7 year old sister just told me this Friend: Why do people call you a carrot?

Me: Because I do not *carrot* all

Score: 13

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. I should've seen the look on her face as i drove pasta !

Score: 36

I asked my dad if I could go to a 50 cent concert He said yeah sure, here's a dollar. Take your sister too.

Score: 37

"Hey dad why is my sister called Teresa?" "Because your mom loves Easter and it's an anagram for Easter."

"Thanks Dad!"

"No problem Alan."

Score: 29

If patricide is killing your father, matricide is killing your mother, and fratricide is killing your brother... Is pesticide killing your sister?

Score: 32

My sister is fat so they sent her to a weight loss camp.... I have ADHD, so they're sending me to a concentration camp

Score: 13

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta

Score: 206

What did the cell brother say to his cell sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis

EDIT: Sorry for the crappy pun, but at least it wasn't one about eggs. I don't tell those types of yolks. Sorry I just really crack myself up.

Score: 8

A husband asks his wife: If I died, would you marry again? A husband asks his wife:
-
If I died, would you marry again?
-
Oh darling, of course I wouldn’t. I’d go and live with my sister. And if I died, would you remarry?
-
No, I think I’d go and live with your sister too.

Score: 19

My Siamese girlfriend has just dumped me... She caught me banging her sister behind her back.

Score: 8

I tripped over my sister's bra the other day It was boobie trap

Score: 68

My sister came home today and said "they have this great new machine at the gym.." "it's got Malteasers, Twix, sodas, you name it!!"

Score: 69

What is the difference between a washing machine and your sister? A washing machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load into it.

Score: 11

A guy kept calling me sister I was having nun of it

Score: 9

Bio joke What did the cell say to his sister when she stepped on his foot?

Mitosis.

Score: 12

I told my sister that if you rearrange the letters in 'vanilla' you get 'pirate' Her: no you don't

Me: yes, 'a villain' with a missing i.

Note: true story

Score: 26

Boy: My mother's name is Laughing and my father's name is Smiling. Teacher: You must be Kidding.

Boy: No, that's my sister's name, I'm Joking.

Score: 110

My friend got angry at me for sniffing his sister's panties. It didn't help that they were still on her.

Or that their whole family was watching.

This made the rest of the funeral quite awkward.

Score: 51

How do you circumcise a hillbilly? You kick his sister in the jaw.

Score: 33

I told my dad to embrace his mistakes. He cried. Then he hugged my sister and me.

Score: 15

Did you ever get two pieces of shocking news at once? I just found out my sister was diagnosed with testicular cancer.

Score: 43

My sister told me she's dating an Irish guy I said, "Oh really?"

She replied, "No, O'Reilly."

Score: 62

Why did the vampire have to get glasses? Because he was blind as a bat!

(My 4 year old sister came up with this one yesterday)

Score: 11

My sister is a theater teacher and asked her class, "What would the world be like without theater?" One of her students replied, "Well, Abraham Lincoln would've lived a bit longer."

Score: 105

How did the redneck find his sister in the woods? Pretty good.

Score: 24

What did one cell say to its sister cell when she stepped on him? "Mitosis !"

Score: 11

A man, his sister and his wife walk into the voting booth to vote for Donald Trump. They've both given it a lot of thought.

Score: 106

what did the biologist say to his sister when she dropped a flask on his foot? Mitosis

Score: 32

A blonde goes to work in tears. Her boss asks, "What's wrong?" She says, "My mom died."
He told her to go home, but she said, "No, I'll be fine."
Later that day, her boss finds her crying again. He says, "What's wrong?"
She replies, "I just talked to my sister, and her mom died, too!"

Score: 198

whats the difference between your sister and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it

Score: 14

My girlfriend broke up with me for spending too much time taking care of my deaf sister... She said I was too ear-responsible

Score: 8

My sister said I'm being immature. I guess she isn't getting her nose back

Score: 108

What did one cell say to his sister cell when he stubbed his toe? *Mitosis*

...

I'll show myself out.

Score: 57

My sister bet me $100 I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti You should have seen her face when I drove pasta.

Score: 104

When I was young, my mom's sister used to bake me cakes with lots of icing and cream. She was a fond aunt.

Score: 14