Skinny Jokes

"Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on daddy's stomach last night?" "I have to do that or daddy's belly gets very fat. Bouncing keeps him skinny."

"That's not going to work."

"Why not?"

"Because the babysitter keeps blowing him back up again."

I told my wife, "You are so skinny." Then I grabbed her by the love handles and said, "Just look at all this skin."

I saw a skinny guy getting brutally beat up by 5 huge guys! I'm not the hero type, but still decided to help out. It felt good being on the winning side for once.

Sometimes I wonder about my ex girlfriends who I haven't seen in years, you know, like has she become all fat and bloated, or has she become disgustingly skinny; or maybe someone has already found the body.

What do skinny jeans and cheap hotels have in common? No *ball*room

Why are plants so skinny? They usually have a light lunch.

What do you call a skinny Muslim A muSLIM.

Skinny jeans are like a cheap hotel. There’s no ballroom.

Why is Caitlyn Jenner so skinny? Because the FDA just banned trans fats.

What do you call a skinny feminist? Photoshopped.

What do you call a skinny person that identifies as obese? A trans fat

Why does Japan have so many skinny people? Last time they had a fat man, they lost a city.

Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, was quite skinny, and apparently had bad breath. That'd make him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis

Skinny jeans are like a cheap hotel... There's no ballroom.

I like my women like I like my cocaine... ...white, skinny, and kept in line with a credit card.

Fat people are harder to kidnap But skinny people are worth less at the meat market

So I have a morbidly obese friend, but he identifies as skinny. He’s trans slender

What do you call a skinny Pakistani cow? A moo-slim.

How are a pair of skinny jeans like a cheap motel? No ballroom

My grandpa just walked into the room with a guy wearing skinny jeans and eating avocado toast. I said, “Who is this guy?”

Grandpa: My hip replacement.

What do skinny jeans and modern houses have in common? No ballroom

As a fat guy, I tend to avoid wearing skinny jeans. I find it difficult to pull it off.

Sometimes when I want to make my girlfriend feel skinny... ...I just release about 25% of her from the air valve.

Im fat but i identify as skinny Im trans-slender

I know skinny jeans are fashionable... But as a slightly chubby man, I just can't seem to be able to pull them off

My grandpa just walked into the room with a young man wearing skinny jeans and a beard. I said, “Who is this, grandpa?”

Grandpa: He’s my hip replacement.

Whats fat on the bottom, skinny on the top, and has ears? Mountains!



...what? You've never head of mountaineers?

If you had to choose... Between eating bacon everyday or being skinny for the rest of your life, would you choose applewood or hickory smoked?

Why are bachelors skinny and married guys fat? Bachelors go to the fridge, don't see anything they like, and go to bed. Married guys go to bed, don't see anything they like, and go to the fridge.

Even though I'm pretty skinny, I identify as an obese person... I'm trans fat.

It's so sad... that trees look at telephone poles, and think that being tall and skinny is the only way to get people talking.

They say inside every fat person is a skinny person trying to get out. But that's silly. Surely the skinny people aren't still alive after they eat them.

Why are math students so skinny? Because they buy no meals.







(Binomials)

How are skinny jeans like a small mansion? They have no ball room.

What do skinny jeans and a cheap hotel have in common? No ballroom.

My son was depressed because of his obesity. "Trust me," I told him, "skinny people get down too." "Unless you're on a see-saw with them," I added.

What do you call a skinny man in sunglasses? Slim Shady.

What does the s in kim jong un stand for? Skinny.

I’m really fat but I feel skinny on the inside So I identify as translender