Hilarious Sky Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Sky Jokes

My son, while gazing up at the sky, asked me how stars die "Usually an overdose", I said

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Did you hear what NASA's new slogan will be once their budget is cut? "NASA: The Sky's The Limit"

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The sky above looked ominous, so I asked Siri, "Surely, it's not going to rain again today?!" It replied, "It is and don't call me Shirley!"

Guess I forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode…

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Why can you see the LGBT colours in the sky after it rains? Because the sun just came out.

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Scientists discovered a revolutionary material with infinite length and zero depth ... but then they realized No Man's Sky was invented already.

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What's at the centre of No Man's Sky universe? A refund.

credit to /u/xROSSTHEHOSSx (saw it on another post as comment, thought it deserved own post)

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"I looked up into the sky and matched each star with a reason why I love you." "That's so sweet."

"Not particularly. It was daytime."

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If at first you don't suceed... sky diving isn't for you.

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There are more airplanes in the ocean than submarines in the sky

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Did you know there are more planes in the ocean.. Than submarines in the sky?

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One of my dad's favorites about flying "You know there are more planes at the bottom of the ocean than submarines in the sky. They have never left one up there."

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Two blondes were walking in a park ...when one of them said: "Look, a dead bird!" The other one looked up in the sky and asked "where?"

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What's the difference between water falling from the sky and hamburgers falling from the sky? One of them is a meatier shower.

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I totally believe that there is a man we can not see, watching us from the sky, passing judgment on our actions, and that there are people who live and die according to a plan of his. But enough about the NSA.

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What do they tell people who flunk out of astronaut academy? "The sky's the limit for you".

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A dead bird A blonde was walking with her father, when her father said "look! It's a dead bird! That's so sad!"
The blonde then quickly looked up in the sky and said "Where?"

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What's white and falls from the sky? Depressed Businessmen

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Why don't blind people sky dive? It scares their dogs!

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A Programmers son asks, why is the sky blue? Programmer: It works, don't mess with it!

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If you're ever lost in the woods, just look up at the sky for the North Star. Its twinkling will comfort you as you die.

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When does money fall from the sky? When there is a change in weather

Forgive me

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When I was a child, my father would always tell me, "The sky's the limit!" He was never supportive of my dreams to become an astronaut.

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Fun WWI fact: There are more crashed planes down at the bottom of the ocean than- -crashed submarines in the sky.

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A son and a dad are talking Son: Why is the sky blue?

Dad: The same reason your eyes are blue.

Son: So the sky slept with the postman?

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What's the difference between a golfer and a sky-diver? 



Golfer goes: \*Whack!\* "Dammit!"
Sky-diver goes: "Dammit!" \*Whack!\*

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If anyone wants to come and talk about why my heating bills are sky high \- the door is always open

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My wife has just left me, taking my satellite dish and Bob Marley collection. No woman, no Sky.

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Tell a person there's a million stars in the sky and he'll believe you. But tell a person that the bench is freshly painted and he'll touch it just to make sure.

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I was stargazing in the early hours when... ...The sky started to get brighter and brighter. I couldn't understand what was happening. Then it dawned on me.

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What's yellow and up in the sky? An Asian that stepped on a land mine.

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A cosmonaut's sob story I always knew that I wanted to be as astronaut , even when I was a little boy. However, I knew my father would not be supportive of me because he would always tell me "The sky's the limit!"

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After years of practice I can finally tell what time it is based purely on the sun's location in the sky. Right now it is daytime.

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My buddy got home today to find his wife had left him... She took his prized Bob Marley collection and the satellite dish.

Feel sorry for him..... No Woman, No Sky.

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I posted a question about the brightest star in the night sky, but all I got were joke replies. Should've added the [Sirius] tag.

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The Undercover Cloud One cloud asks the other why he is dressed weirdly, the cloud replies "Shhh, i'm in ***da sky's***".

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What is the hardest part about sky diving? The ground.

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When I was young I told my dad I wanted to be an astronaut... He said, " The sky's the limit."

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I wanted to be an Astronaut but my parents told me, "Sky's the limit".

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My wife died in a sky diving accident. Does anybody want a parachute, used once , never opened. ?

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New Sky Jokes

My bread is up in the sky but, I'll have it again! What crumbs up, must crumb down.

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What is one phrase you can’t tell a sky diver? If at first you don’t succeed, try again.....

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What's the difference between a school and a Taliban training ground? The children are taught to aim for the sky, the Taliaban are taught to aim for this guy.

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You can easily recognize Finnish athletes in the competition by their sky blue shorts and white T-shirts Skiers from other countries tend to dress warmer.

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My wife wants to go scuba diving while I prefer sky diving... We cant find any common ground

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I pointed to the night sky and said, "Look, it's a mo!" "A mo?" asked my friend. "What's a mo?"

I said, "A half-moon."

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Two kids were talking together. First: "My daddy is so tall that he can touch the clouds in the sky with his hands.
" Second: "That is excellent. Does your daddy touch something soft and downy?
" First: "Yes, of course.
" Second: "Those are my daddy's testicles."

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Not that big Sometimes I think about how big my love problems are, then I look up at the night sky at all those billions of stars and I say to the universe "you aren't that big".

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Three whales fall from the sky. Two hit the beach, then the last lands in the water... BA-DUM PSSHHH

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After hours of working on every syllable of this masterpiece, I bring you a haiku I've titled "Truth in hindsight" The sky is blue

The grass is green

Jetfuel can't melt steel beams

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My cat loves Sky Plus. He loves the PAWS feature.

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There is a problem with a star in the sky It's very Sirius

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My wife seems sad and depressed. Its been raining straight for a long time, the sky is gloomy, and my wife has been looking at the window for days with this frustrated yet depressed expression on her face. Maybe I should let her in.

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My friend wanted to become an astronaut So I told him that the sky was the limit.

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Roses are red, blue is the sky........... Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?

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Red sky at night, shepherd’s delight. Blue sky at night, day

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When does a blind sky diver know when to pull the cord? When the leash goes slack.

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Why did Peter Pan fall out of the sky? It was too Wendy...

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Thanks to World War I There are now more airplanes in the ocean than their are submarines in the sky.

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This winter, ice crystals will stick together and fall from the sky Snow joke

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Have you ever tried sky diving without a parachute? It's a once in a lifetime experience

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What did the Japanese man say as the Hiroshima sky was filled with the light of an atomic bomb, in a split second? Wow this blew up fast.

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What's White & Gooey and Rains Down From the Sky? The coming of the Lord.

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Why was Cloud trying to cheer up Sky? He looked a little blue

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