Hilarious Soup Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Soup Jokes

Score: 9475

When I was little, my dad used to feed me alphabet soup, claiming that I loved it I didn't really; he was just putting words in my mouth.

Score: 934

I hate to admit it, but my wife's cooking has seriously improved. ......that was best slice of soup I've ever had!

Score: 910

I ordered 2000 lbs. of chinese soup. It was Won Ton.

Score: 796

Why do the Irish only put 239 beans in their soup? Because one more and they would get too farty

Score: 346

How do you make gold soup ? Put 24 carrots in it

Score: 290

I was eating soup one day outside my favorite restaurant and it started raining.. Took me hours to finish my meal.

Score: 182

I ate five cans of alphabet soup..... I had the biggest vowel movement of my life.

Score: 172

What's the heaviest soup in Asia? Wonton soup!

Score: 142

Life is like a soup Life is like a soup, you only get blown if you're hot.

Score: 130

I ate 4 bowls of delicious alphabet soup. After that I had a massive vowel movement.

Score: 121

I just sneezed while eating alphabet soup... ...took the words right out of my mouth.

Score: 104

What's the difference between a toilet bowl and a soup bowl? If you had to click to find out, I'm never having soup at your place.

Score: 104

So I ate 4 cans of alphabet soup today.. I'm expecting a massive vowel movement.

Score: 95

Why does Irish bean soup have exactly 239 beans in it? (Irish accent) Because one more and it would be too farty.

Score: 90

I ate five cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Then, I easily had the biggest vowel movement ever.

Score: 90

You all heard of alphabet soup! Prepare yourself for... Times New Ramen

Score: 90

Why did the Irishman put 239 beans in the soup pot? Because any more would be too farty.

Score: 88

I just ate four cans of alphabet soup... ...and just had the largest vowel movement ever.

Score: 85

What do racist cannibals like to add to their soup? A handful of crackers.

Score: 76

I saw my buddy dressed as a bowl of soup... I didn't know if he was friend or pho.

Score: 71

how do you make gold soup? put 14 carrots in it.

I'll show myself out.

Score: 70

Life is like a bowl of soup You only get blown if you're hot

Score: 69

Why do the Irish only put 239 beans in their soup? Because one more would be two farty

Score: 67

I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever!

Score: 63

How many beans are in Irish bean soup? Two-thirty-nine. One more and it'd be too farty.

Score: 53

I ate four bowls of Alphabet Soup... Then I had a massive vowel movement

Score: 53

What do cannibals put in their soup? Ramen!

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Before you judge harshly, I would like to state that this was invented by a six year old, all on his own, no coaching.

Score: 51

Don't leave alphabet soup cooking on the stove unattended. It could spell disaster.

Score: 49

I ate too much alphabet soup and became consonated. I was better after I evacuated my vowels.

Score: 48

I ordered 1000 kg of Chinese soup It was won ton.

Score: 46

ISIS has reportedly starting putting bombs in cans of alphabet soup If any go off, it could spell disaster

Score: 36

What's worse than finding a fly in you soup? Getting hit by a bus

Score: 30

The cannibal A cannibal was handed the funurary urn of a relative: What is this, instant soup?

Score: 28

I ate three cans of alphabet soup for dinner... I had a really good vowel movement the next day.

Score: 21

What did the chef say when he ruined the soup with too many herbs? "Well, this was a waste of Thyme."

Score: 16

What do you get for opening the BEST Vietnamese soup joint in London? A great big pho queue.

Score: 15

Are you soup? Because you're hot and I wanna blow you

Score: 14

What do you get if you put a coma patient in a hot bath? Vegetable soup

Score: 7

Did you hear what happened when the chef accidentally added yeast to his clam chowder instead of flour? By the time he found out it was quite a soup-rise.

Score: 6

New Soup Jokes

I want to see if this R'lyehian joke makes sense to humans “Waiter! Waiter! There’s mglw'nafh squid ph'nglui ya soup!”

“It’s nafl mglw'nafh, sir. It’s ahehyee fhtagn. ”

Score: 0

What do you call a sour pickle? Pickle soup

Score: 0

What's the one thing that can help if you've eaten too much Alphabet Soup? A vowel movement.

Score: 2

Today I explained my 6 y/o that recipes with wild animals can cause a pandademic. That was his comment: "Bad soup."

Score: 0

What does Clark Kent have for an appetizer? A soup or salad

Score: 0

Double-dated with another couple last night. We went to a Vietnamese restaurant and the wives ordered noodle soup and nothing else. Well, Girls just want to have pho.

Score: 0

What’s the difference between a can of soup and a can of stew? I don’t know; the resemblance is uncanny.

Score: 1

I went out to dinner with Neo from The Matrix when I saw him eating soup with a fork. He kept insisting there was no spoon!

Score: 2

At the church gathering, I slipped on the floor after someone spilled chicken soup I guess it was chicken soup for the sole

Score: 1

I asked for soup at an Italian restaurant, But the bowl they gave me was tiny! I guess they weren't lying when they said it was ministrone.

Score: 1

My parents were always putting words in my mouth growing up, I will never eat alphabet soup again

Score: 3

You give a man pea soup and he'll eat for a day. But you TEACH a man to pee soup...

Score: 1

If you want some Vietnamese soup but there is a really long line It's basically a big pho queue

Score: 4

What do British people call a line of customers waiting to purchase Vietnamese noodle soup? Pho queue

Score: 0

I hatw to admit it, but my wifes cooking is seriously improving. ......that was best slice of soup I've ever had!

Score: 0

I went to a Vietnamese soup shop and ordered their top-selling soup. Me: Is this soup acidic?

Waitress: No, because it's pH0.

Score: 3

I recently bought the cutest little soup holding device with a certain Mexican explorer on it. It was a Dora bowl.

Score: 2

What do Kevin Spacey and Campbell's Soup have in common? They both come in little cans.

Score: 1

I wrote a program that figures out if soup is made from scratch or from a cube It returns a bouillon Boolean.

Score: 6

I like my women like I like my soup. Tomato.

Score: 3

What is a lesbians favorite kind of soup? Clam chowder

Score: 2

How long will my soup be? I asked the waiter. "Well liquid takes the shape of its container"

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Why did the Irishman not add one more bean to his 239 bean soup? Because it would have been too farty.

Score: 3

Where does naughty soup go? To the brothel

Score: 2

I found my first grey pubic hair today It was in my soup.

Score: 3

Guy in a restaurant spills some soup in his lap... He says, "Waiter! There's some soup on my fly!"

Score: 4

What does a person with broken English, who fixes himself Vietnamese beef noodle soup when he is sick, say? Pho cure self.

Score: 1

What did the Venus fly trap say to the waiter? Excuse me, there's no fly in my soup.

Score: 3

Do you like Asparagus Soup ? "Honey, do you like Asparagus ?"

'No'

"Do you like soup ?"

'Not really, why are you asking ?'

"Because you may not like what I did..."

'What ? Did you make Asparagus Soup ? '

"No, I've slept with your sister"

Score: 5

Q: Have You Ever Eaten Rabbit? A: No, but I once found a hare in my soup.

Score: 4

What do you call the greatest royalty of Vietnamese noodle soup? The best PhoKing you'll ever know

Score: 5

What did the bowl of soup say to the other bowl of soup? You make miso happy.

Score: 1

a fly and his prayer Atheist: What's this fly doing in my soup?
Waiter: Praying.
Atheist: Very funny. I can't eat this. Take it back.
Waiter: You see? The fly's prayers were answered.

Score: 1

What do you call a quadriplegic in a therapy pool? Vegetable soup

Score: 3

How do you make golden soup? Add 24 karats

Score: 6

Whats the difference between roast bee and pea soup? If you roast enough people, you get beef. But R.Kelly never got any soup!

Score: 1

How come there can't be more than 239 beans in an Irish bean soup? Because one more would make it
"Too Farty"

Score: 2

What do you call soup that kills itself? Stewicide.

Score: 4

An elderly couple is having dinner at a restaurant. The wife spills soup on her blouse and says: "Oh no, I look a pig now."

Her husband responds: "Yeah, and you spilled soup on your blouse."

Score: 1

If I could have lunch with anyone from history... I'd have the turkey club with a cup of the soup.

Score: 1

Do you know why can't you eat soup in the Matrix? Because there is no such thing as the Matrix, dumbass. It's just a movie.

Score: 3

What do you get if you add yeast to soup? A souprise

Score: 3

What do you call boiling period blood in a saucepot? Egg drop soup.

Score: 4

A small village soup chef tried to make a bit of extra money on the side, selling boullion cubes laced with marijuana... It was the laughing stock of the whole town.

Score: 4

People tell me soup is better with flavor cubes. But I don't put a lot of stock in that.

Because of it, though, I was the victim of a lot of boullion.

Score: 3

[OC] What did the asian say when he saw a line at the local soup kitchen? Ugh.... Pho queue...

Score: 3

What's the difference between roast beef and pea green soup? Anyone can roast beef.

Score: 2

How do ghosts make soup? With BOOllion cubes

Score: 1

During dinner, Juan asked his mother.... Mamma, why is dad bald?

Well Juan, your father has a lot to think about and is very intelligent, that's why.

But mamma, why do you have such a long hair?

Shut UP Juan and eat your soup!

Score: 5