Spoon Jokes

Patient says, "Doctor I have pain in my eye whenever I drink tea" Doctor says, "Take the spoon out of your mug"

When I was young, my mum used to put food on a spoon When I was young, my mum used to put food on a spoon and say, "There's a train coming. There's a train coming." We'd always eat it because we knew that if we didn't she wouldn't untie us from the railway line.

Why didn't Neo ever cuddle Trinity from behind in bed? Because there is no spoon.

My little girl loves helping me when I'm doing the cooking, because I always let her lick the spoon. The sooner she's old enough to buy her own heroin, the better.

Which celebrity is always ready for cereal? Reese, with her spoon

A Halloween Limerick A lady vampire named Mable

Had a period that was awfully stable.

So once a full moon

She took out her spoon

And drank herself under the table.

When i was young my mom used to put food on the spoon.. and sing "train is coming, train is coming"... I'd always eat cause i knew if i didn't, she wouldn't untie me from the railway line.

I used to get sharp pains in my eye when I drank coffee... My doctor said, take the spoon out of the mug

They say you can choke on a tea-spoon of water, so I thought I'd test it out... The water went down fine, but the spoon nearly killed me.

Dear Fork, Dear Fork,

I know we haven't spoken since I ran away with Dish, but I thought you should know you have a son. His name is Spork. He has your hair.

Sincerely,
Spoon

Every time I drank coffee I got a sharp pain in my eye. I went to the doctor He said take the spoon out if the cup!

What did the spoon dress up as to the Halloween party? A cereal killer.

Guns don't kill people, people kill people. But I'd rather take my chances against someone with a spoon.

What do you call a person who is unable to tell the difference between a ladle and a spoon? Fat.

A man says to his doctor... "Every time I drink tea I get a sharp pain in my eye"

So the doctor says "Take the spoon out."

What happens when a fork and a spoon get into a fight? Civilwar!

Patient vs Doctor Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.

Patient To Doctor Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.

TEA PATIENT Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.

Did you hear that Elton John is singing at Amy Winehouse's funeral reception? He will be singing "Candle Under the Spoon".

I went to the doctor because my eye hurt every time i drank tea. He told me to take the spoon out.

Two utensils are laying in bed... One turns to the other and says "wanna spoon?"

The other replied, "no, I'd rather fork."

Why can't you eat soup in The Matrix? Because there is no spoon.

Patient: "Doctor, my eye hurts when I drink my tea..." Doctor: "Well take the spoon out then.."

What do you call an orangutan holding a spoon? I don't know I was asking you

Dear Fork, I understand that we haven't spoken since I ran away with Dish. But, I thought you should know you have a son. His name is Spork. He has your hair.
- Sincerely,
Spoon.

Edit: punctuation is hard.

What did the chef say after he lost his favorite spoon? I'm sad, but only a ladle.

A man went to his psychiatrist and said, "Every time I drink my coffee, I get a stabbing pain in my right eye." The psychiatrist said, "Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?"

"The Spoon" Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.

Yo Momma so stupid... She brought a spoon to the superbowl.

Developers don't spoon their SO They fork them.

When I was younger... When I was younger my mother used to feed me by putting food on a spoon, and telling me "the train's coming". I'd always eat it, because if I didn't she wouldn't untie me from the track.

Patient: Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this intense stinging in my eye. Doctor: I suggest you remove the spoon before drinking.

What does a spoon hate to see when driving? A fork in the road

Whats do you call it when you spoon with a midget? Backpacking.

Why can't you eat cereal in the Matrix? Because there is no spoon.

What did Bill Cosby say to the girl eating Jello with her hands? Wanna spoon?

What do you call a spoon with a giant pit? A pot

I went out to dinner with Neo from The Matrix when I saw him eating soup with a fork. He kept insisting there was no spoon!