Hilarious Std Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Std Jokes

My girlfriend just told me she has a STD... I'm Gonorrhoea-valuate our relationship

Score: 888

What kind of STD's do fish get? Merm-aids

Score: 676

My parrot was just diagnosed with an STD. Vet says he has Chirpees. He said there's no need for concern, because it's a Canarial disease, and it's tweetable.

Score: 668

Heard you were looking for a stud... I got the STD, now all I need is u.

Score: 591

My boyfriend just told me he has an STD... Looks like I'm *gonorrhea*valuate this relationship.

Score: 564

What do you call an incredibly strong STD? Herpules

(This joke has been brought to you by my 14 yr old son)

Score: 499

Score: 110

Which STD is transmitted through sound? Hearing aids

Score: 93

Explaining a joke is a bit like an STD at an orgy Generally everyone gets it in the end but it’s not really funny

Score: 61

Hey girl, are you looking for a stud? I've got the STD, all I need is U.

Credit goes to Rooster from the Netflix series *The Ranch*

Score: 54

What kind of STD does a bird get? Chirpies. :-)

Score: 53

Worst pick-up line ever. If you're looking for a stud, I've got the STD all that's missing is U.

Score: 52

Are you looking for a stud? Because I already got std and all I need is u!

Score: 41

I heard you were looking for a stud? I’ve got the STD, all I need is u

Score: 32

What is the worst STD of all? Parenthood

Score: 30

Hey girl, i can be your stud I have the std, i just need u.

Score: 26

I don't know what STD causes blurry genitals... But Japan seems to have an epidemic of it.

Score: 21

My Girlfriend told me she had an STD Gonorrhoea-valuate our relationship now.

Score: 18

What is the world's longest lasting STD? Children

Score: 18

Wanna Hear A Joke About STD’s? Never mind, you won’t get it.

Score: 18

Greatest pickup line that never works!! I put the STD in stud, now all I need is U.

Score: 16

What's the difference between STD's and Pokemon? I still haven't caught any Pokemon.

Score: 15

What's the difference between a leprechaun and a hooker with 5 STD's? Well one of them is a cunning runt.

Score: 14

What do you call it when you get an STD from someone who is disabled? The Handi-clap.

Score: 14

Let me be the Stud in your life. I already have the STD, all I'm missing is u.

Score: 12

Toilet seats can give you STD's... ...If you sit down before the person stands up

Score: 12

Donald Trump admitted today that he contracted an STD. He has hairpiece.

Score: 11

I'm going to create a dating Website for people with incurable STD's to find each other. It will be named 2 Herpes in a Pod

Score: 11

What do you call a STD passed only between women? A Ladybug.

Score: 10

What do you call an STD that is contracted in your ear? Hearing AIDS

Score: 9

Getting an STD is like downloading a virus... ...but getting married is like downloading ransomware.

Score: 7

A friend of mine recently got rid of his STD It only took him 18 years and hundreds of thousands of dollars, but he no longer has to pay child support!

Score: 6

My favorite pick up line With you I feel like a stud, I was just an STD before

(Also the reason I am still single)

Score: 6

What STD Does Tiger Woods have? Golf clap

Score: 5

The sun is like a hot girl with a STD It might be nice to be in it at first but later you might get itchy and regret it

Score: 5

Is it true that you can get an STD from public toilets? Only if you sit down before the last guy has gotten up.

Score: 4

What do you call a crocodile with and STD? Gatoraids

Score: 3

You can't spell STUD without STD and U Please don't hurt me

Score: 2

How does a chess player avoid catching an STD? Checkmate

Score: 2

I put the STD in Stud I just need U

Score: 2

New Std Jokes

Two STD's walking across the road, A lorry was approaching. One looked to the other and said. We're Gonorrhoea's......

Score: 1

Did you know the good thing about STD's? You won't get one.

Score: 0

My ex girlfriend got an STD from a soldier. Gunnerrhea.

Score: 1

I don't get the hype about the new Star Trek Discovery Why are people so excited about a new STD series?

Score: 2

Heard you were looking for a stud? I got the STD, all that's missing is U.

Score: 2

What do you call a plant with an STD? Poison H-Ivy

Score: 1

What do you call the STD that restricts arm movements? [Slow hand clap]

Score: 1

What do you call a plant with an STD? Poison H.I.V

Score: 1

John Jacob Dingleberry Schmidt His STD is my STD too!

Score: 1