Hilarious Stephen Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Stephen Jokes

I couldn’t follow the storyline of Stephen King’s “It” Too many Maine characters.

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How does Stephen Hawking refresh after a long day? F5

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I was walking past a homeless man when he yelled, "Stephen King is my older brother and he stole the ideas for all his novels from me!" I replied, "Surely you must be Joe."

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Everyone is a fan of Stephen Hawking now that he died. I bet they can't name even 3 of his songs.

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“There is no God” -Stephen Hawking, 2011 “There is no Stephen Hawking” God, 2018

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I've tried calling Stephen Hawking many times I keep getting his answering machine

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What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

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Stephen King has a son named Joe. I’m not joking, but he is!

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First Stephen Hawking, now Avicii? Tough year for the Electronic community.

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Why is Stephen Hawking successful? He can't run away from his responsibilities.

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Why is Stephen such a neutral name? Because its pH is in the middle.

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So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar... Just kidding.

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First Stephen hawking now Avicii It must be a tough year for the electronic community.

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What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? Stephen Hawking doesn't walkie or talkie.

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What do scientists and vegetables have in common? Stephen Hawking

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What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer broke?

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Why does Stephen Hawking only do one line jokes? Because he can't do stand-up.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar... ... Just kidding

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A fish, a snake, and Stephen Hawking walk into a bar... Just kidding. None of those things walk.

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What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to? The computer runs.

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Stephen Hawking has finally released his new book about space. It's about time, too.

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Why can't Stephen Hawking dance? Because he's white.

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I finally got around to reading that book by Stephen Hawking. It was about time.

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What did Stephen Hawking say after his computer crashed ? Nothing.

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My biology teacher asked me what was the ugliest vegetable IMO. Apparently, Stephen Hawking was the wrong answer.

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Stephen Hawking diagnosed with erectile dysfunction. It was easy to fix, they just uninstalled his pop-up blocker.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar... It's a miracle.

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When my kindle reads Fifty Shades of Gray to me It's like getting an obscene phone call from Stephen Hawking

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Knowledge is Power They always say knowledge is power, but I'm pretty sure I can beat up Stephen Hawking.

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Why does Stephen Hawking date African Americans? Because he loves to study black holes.

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So I heard the new Iphone is gonna have that new Stephen King movie preloaded onto it. Yeah. X is gonna give IT to ya.

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Stephen Hawking can be pretty funny sometimes, But I dont think he could do standup

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Stephen Hawking If Stephen hawking started a company, What would his position in the company be?

The Chairman

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I finally got round to reading that Stephen Hawking book the other day. It's about time.

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Stephen Hawking is a very paranoid man He's always looking over his shoulder.

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I tried calling Stephen Hawking the other day But I kept getting his answering machine

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Have you seen Stephen Hawking's new communication device? It really speaks for itself.

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Lately I've noticed a strange fascination shared by everybody that comes over to my house. They can't seem to get enough of this one Stephen King book I have on my shelf. I guess it's true what they say; company loves Misery.

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What's black and sits at the the top of a staircase ? Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

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New Stephen Jokes

I read a headline that said "short people are less intelligent than taller people" That can't be true. Einstein was 5'7" and Stephen Hawkin was 3'5".

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What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he is hooked into? The computer actually runs

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What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking ? Stephen Walking.

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Stephen Hawking asked Albert Einstein "What do you want for your birthday?". He responded, "You.".

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If Kevin Spacey's next role was playing Stephen Hawking How would that grab you?

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How do we know it’s Stephen Hawking talking and not just the black box? There are no ads.

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What do Stephen Curry and Obama have in common? They like to drop it from a distance.

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What do you call a vegetable that's sorta cool? Stephen Hawking

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What vegetable makes you smarter? Stephen Hawking

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What does a church photographer and Stephen Paddock have in common? They're both mass shooters.

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Stephen Hawking had his first date for 10 years last week. He came back, his glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, a twisted ankle and grazed knees... Apparently she stood him up!

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What if Stephen Hawking is the real slim shady But we never knew because he can't stand up.

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What’s black and sits at the top of the staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire

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Stephen Hawking If you lose Stephen Hawking, do you report a missing person or a stolen laptop?

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Why is Stephen Hawking a bad comedian? He can't do stand-up.

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Stephen Hawking recently released his most recent book. He has spent the last 15 years writing it. It's about time.

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What is black and sits at the top of a staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

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A couple had a hen called Stephen. They divorced and the lady got a new partner. The hen was the new partner's... Step hen.

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I like to be positive Even though I'm unemployed and recently got evicted, I could still destroy Stephen Hawking in a 100m dash.

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If Stephen Hawkins passes out do you take him to A&E or PC World? Source: wife's Facebook feed

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A windmill was spotted at The Dark Tower premier this weekend. People said it was a huge Stephen King fan.

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Did you hear about the guy who was caught stealing Stephen King novels? He didn't get away with IT.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar… Just kidding.

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How is a smart person who enjoys walking called? Stephen Walking.

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What do Stephen Hawking and Richard Hammond have in common? They both have poor motor skills.

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What's Stephen Hawking's least favorite kind of comedy? Standup.

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TIL Stephen Hawking is British Never realized because of his accent.

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There's only one vegetable I like Stephen Hawking

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What did Stephen Hawking say when his communication device hit an error? body.exe unable to run

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Stephen Hawking is a terrible role model for our kids. He only looks one way when crossing the street

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My buddy was into medieval things, so I asked if he had ever been poked by a lance, He said "no but I was once lightly caressed by a Stephen"

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Did you know that Stephen Hawking wrote a cookbook? It's called A Brief History of Thyme.

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What is the only thing Stephen Colbert's mouth is good for? Putin Trump in his place.

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Stephen Hawking walked into a bar... Just kidding.

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Did you know that the clown from Stephen King's novel used to live at his previous job? He worked at the IT department.

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"Stephen, am I a bad mother?" "My name is Chris.."

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Apparently, anything Stephen Hawking reads is considered a "short story" Since he can read it in one sitting

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What do Evel Knievel and Stephen Hawking have in common? Their love of ramps.

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So one day Stephen Hawking walks into a bar... Lol, Just kidding.

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What does Donal Trump call his putter? Vladimir Puttin

Credit to The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

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What was Stephen Hawking when he was younger? Stephen Walking

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Why was the ground all white after Custer's Last Stand? Because the Indians kept coming and coming and coming...
**Courtesy of Stephen King's "The Stand"

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whats black and sits at the top of the staircase? stephen hawking after a house fire

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What has legs but never runs? Stephen Hawking

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Walking Talking Stephen Hawking

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What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawkings after a house fire.

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What's black and sits on top of a staircase? Stephen Hawking in a house fire.

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Why is Stephen Hawking so controversial? He never changes his position.

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