Swedish Jokes

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them? So when they dock they can Scandinavian.

Why do they have bar codes on the returning Swedish fleet? So they can Scandinavian.

Why do Swedish battleships have barcodes printed on the sides? So that when they return to port they can scandinavyin.

Why do the Swedish have barcodes on the side of their ships? So they can Scandinavian.

(Sorry, my personal favourite joke)

Why do all Swedish military ships have bar codes on them? So when the come to port, they can just Scan da navy in!

My friend came crying to me after he crashed his brand new Swedish car But I didn't want to hear his Saab story

My dad is 100% Swedish and this was his favorite joke to tell waitresses when we went out to eat. Waitress: Are you all finished?

Dad: No, I'm not Finnish, I'm Swedish.

Where does a race on the Swedish border end at? The Finnish line.

So I'm in Ikea.... ...and I ask the salesperson, "Is this a finished desk?"
and she says, "No, it's Swedish."

(edited to make more better)

Why do Swedish ships have barcodes? So they can Scandinavian.

What do you call a Swedish baby with no heartbeat? Still Bjorn.

What do you call a Swedish spy film? The Bjorn Identity.

My friend was telling me about how his Swedish car was totaled in an accident I told him to spare me his Saab story.

Nothing beats the Swedish summer... it's simply the best day of the year.

Why does the Swedish navy put barcodes on the side of their ships? So when they come back to port, they can Scandinavian!

Want to hear a Swedish joke? Nevermind. There’s Norway I could Finnish it.

I tried to explain to my boss that I couldn't come in to work because my imported Swedish car broke down. But he didn't want to hear my Saab story.

Know any Swedish jokes? I've heard they don't Finnish very well

My neighbor is always complaining about his Swedish car breaking down all the time. I’m getting really tired of the Saab stories.

What do you call somebody who says they are Swedish but really aren't? An artificial Swedener

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes? So that when they return to port they can Scandinavian.

I'm reading a book about Swedish automotive history. It's a real Saab story.

What do you call a Swedish assassin? Jason Bjorn

Why does Swedish sugar taste better? It’s Sweder

How to build a wall If Trump ever needs help with the wall to Mexico he should ask the Swedish National Football Team, they did a pretty good job.

What Do You Call Vegan Swedish Meatballs? Meatish Swedballs

The other day a Swedish man called me a racist and a believer of stereotypes... So Ikea'd his car.

I'm at the ear clinic. My name might've been called out. I have no idea.

PSA: The joke is originally in Swedish, tried my best translating it.

So my friend called me last night to tell me about how his Swedish car broke down But I told him I didn't have time for his Saab stories

What did the Swedish chef say to his girlfriend when he found out she was pregnant? Abort - Bort - Bort!

What do you call a Swedish cell phone made by a car company? iKia

I remember the Swedish summer of 2017.. It was the best day of the year.

I hate it when people tell me the're going to a Swedish furniture shop Does it look like Ikea?

Low sugar Swedish fish If they make a low sugar swedish fish, would it be Sweet-Ish Swedish-ish fish?

Why do the swedish navy have barcodes on their ships? So they can scandinavin

What's Swedish Chef's evil twin's name? Swedish Jeff

Did you hear about the constipated Swedish guy? He was Farfrompoopin

Why can't you ever sing the last verse of a Swedish song? Because it's not Finnish.

What did the Chinese statistician use to tally the number of Swedish bands? An ABBAcus

A man is on his way back from IKEA, his wife phones him and says “are you bringing some dinner back?” He replies “Yes love, I’ve picked up a Swedish meatball selection, and ITS COMING HOME!”