Hilarious Test Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Test Jokes

If I got 50¢ for every math test I've failed I would have $7.20 by now

Score: 14922

I scored a 175 on an IQ test with just 3 simple questions 1. My credit card number
2. My social security number
3. Uploading a scan of my birth certificate

Score: 14813

My drug test came back negative. My drug dealer has some explaining to do.

Score: 11533

Got called in for a drug test at work... They said I tested positive for opioids.

I said "Oh yeah. There were poppy seeds on my bagel this morning."

They said "What about the THC, cocaine, and LSD?"

"It was an everything bagel."

Score: 3256

I googled "Rorschach Test" But all that came up were pictures of my parents fighting

Score: 1993

My friend text me 'what are you doing now?' I replied 'Probably failing my driving test'.

Score: 1563

An in-depth test to see if you know how to avoid Clickbait Apparently not!

Score: 1498

Score: 1487

My mate phoned me and asked what I was doing. "Probably failing my driving test," I replied.

EDIT: Front page for the first time. Thanks guys, means a lot.

Score: 1374

(Nerdy joke) Two chicks walk into a bar... Two chicks walk into a bar. One says to the other,"Have you ever heard of the Bechdel test?" The other says,"Yeah, my boyfriend was telling me about it the other day."

Score: 1331

Joke my dad loved What's the last thing each tickle-me-elmo doll gets before leaving the factory?

Two test tickles

Score: 994

They say the feds track all internet activity and look out for keywords that indicate terrorism or otherwise I wanted to test this out and Googled "how to kill President"

Few days later I received a care package containing ammo

Score: 822

They say you should test your fire alarm once a month... But it's costing me a fortune in houses!

Score: 779

My daughter has a math test on Roman numerals. I told her I hope she gets a "C".

Score: 693

I ate the exam paper Which means that sooner or later I will pass the test

Score: 591

Me: It doesn’t matter how many times you fall, what matters is how many times you get back up” Cop: “Sir, that’s not how a sobriety test works.”

Score: 443

I just passed my drug test My dealer has some serious explaining to do

Score: 395

I just passed my drug test my dealer has some explaining to do

Score: 393

I just passed by Canadian citizenship test! I got an eh +

Score: 357

I failed my biology test today. Apparently, "black guys" isn't the answer to the question "What is found in cells."

Score: 340

My drug test came back negative My dealer sure has some explaining to do..

Score: 269

So I was asked the past tense of 'think' in a English test today I thought and thought and thought and finally wrote 'thunk'.

Score: 258

If I had $5 for every time I failed a math test I would have $37

Score: 258

I just scored a 180 on an IQ test answering three simple questions ! 1. My credit card number
2. My social security number
3. Uploading a scan of my birth certificate

Score: 242

My mate just rang me and said "what are you doing at the moment?" I said, "probably failing my driving test."

Score: 222

I failed a biology test today, they had asked me what was commonly found in cells Apparently black people was not the answer.

Score: 210

My mate rang me and asked, My mate rang me and asked, "What're you doing at the moment?"

I said, "Probably failing my driving test."

Score: 203

So today is 4/20 4/20 is national weed day, 4/21 is national surprise drug test day and 4/22 is national unemployment day

Score: 182

I'll often test new jokes for my set by posting them to /r/jokes The only downside is when I tell them on stage some dude in the back yells out "REPOST!"

Score: 165

I said Hi to a girl and she replied "I have a boyfriend"... "And I have a math test", I told her. "What?", she replied, "What does that have to do with anything?".

"Oh", I said, "I thought we were both naming things we would cheat on."

Score: 164

I went to take an online ADHD test today... but gave up quickly because it was stupid and boring.

Score: 164

Chuck Norris once took a lie detector test The machine confessed everything

Score: 153

There was a drug test at work today... Mine came back negative. My dealer owes me an explanation.

Score: 118

How do they test the "Tickle me Elmo Doll"? Before it leaves the factory, they give it two testickles.

Score: 73

A Polish man was at the Eye Doctor to test his sight, and looked at a chart with the following letters: G U O Y L V B J I T D A Z C K

Doctor: Can you read the letters?

Polish Man: Of course i can read it, I know the guy!

Score: 72

This pregnancy test I just took confirmed my worst fear. I'm just fat.

Score: 66

I scored 47/46 for my test. It was a chromosomes test.

Score: 63

I read this morning there's a test to find out if you have early stage Alzhimer's. And then this morning I read that there's a test to find out if you have early stage Alzhimer's.

Score: 47

The perk of being a test tube baby... ...is you get a womb with a view.

Score: 46

Today I Failed my Biology Test. One of the questions asked. “What are normally found inside cells?”

Apparently, ‘Black People’ was not the correct answer.

Score: 36

New Test Jokes

Everyone knows that it takes ten tickles to make an octopus laugh. But how did scientists learn this fact? They did some test tickles

Score: 11

I don't believe the Rorschach test works, you know the therapy ink block test thing!? I don't know who it is but they keep just painting pictures of my parents fighting

Score: 8

What did the tickle me elmo get when he left the production line? Two test tickles.

Score: 9

Have you heard about the new test to detect down syndrome? 24 and me.

Score: 7

My test results for Herpes came in the mail today. Finally, some positive news!

Score: 5

If I had €1 for every maths test I've failed I would have €7.20 by now.

Score: 23

I thought I'd study for my trig test best while out in the sun. But I'm still not feeling tan.

Score: 5

A Welsh guy was getting his driver's license. He had to take a vision test, so they showed him a line of letters that said: B W N S T R Y D D W L L

They asked, "Can you read the letters?" The man replied, "Are you kidding? I'm *from* that town!"

Score: 22

I lost my job as a police officer just for giving a guy a breathalyser test. Apparently it "wasn't humorous" to the passenger that survived.

Score: 30

Two women walk into a bar and talk about The Bechdel test

Score: 6

I aced the convert-to-Islam test today. I answered "allah the above"

Score: 6

trump challenged Tillerson to an IQ test, and there was only one question on the test... If the President of the United States and the President of the US Virgin Islands are in an elevator, how many people are in the elevator?

Score: 11

I live in Canada and I took a test today I got an Eh+

Score: 5

What did Trump say when his test scores were lower than expected? “Fake IQs.”

Score: 5

I took an iq test yesterday on Facebook, as a matter of act... and it told me im a genius! in the *top 99%*!

Score: 5

I didn't study for the Canadian History test and still got a hundred It was easy, all the answers were A

Score: 6

Why did the test tube go to college? To become a graduated cylinder.

Score: 9

So my friend took an English test today... She said she did very good!

Score: 10

Why couldn't Medusa pass a drug test? Because she was a stoner.

Score: 31

When I was a kid I took an aptitude test... It said I was best suited to become a bartender and all I could think was, "Well that's one way to see my dad!"

Score: 8

A white supremacist gets tested for diseases So much for their "pure blood" claim, the only thing that came up negative was their IQ test.

Score: 19

I aced my chemistry test on the pH scale... It was really basic.

Score: 6

IQ Test Psych Admin: "Sir, your IQ results are in, you scored 91."

The other guy: "Wow, my first A+"

Score: 8

R/Jokes is like a memory test I try to guess if I remember the punchline from earlier, before I open the details.

Score: 26

Newly leaked documents from the Whitehouse show the results of Donald Trumps IQ test. It came back negative.

Score: 10

When I heard my new job required passing a drug test..... Boy was I excited. Finally a test in a subject I know about!

Score: 21

How do you find out if a person is ticklish? Give them test tickles

Score: 12

How do you tell if a ball transplant has been successful? You give it a test tickle.

Score: 5

They say you can choke on a tea-spoon of water, so I thought I'd test it out... The water went down fine, but the spoon nearly killed me.

Score: 33

Why did Janeen eat her test? So she could pass it later...

Score: 10

So Tim is interviewing for a job. "I will need you to take a test before I hire you." Says the man. "You have to shoot 5 black men and a bunny"

"Why the bunny" asks Tim?

"Your hired"

Score: 7

A woman is at the doctor's office, anxiously awaiting the results of a test. The doctor says, "You appear to have vasovagal syncope."
She fainted.

Score: 23

What's long, hard and makes kids scream when I give it to them? A math test.

Score: 5

Just found out I passed my Hepatitis test today! I got a C!

Score: 7

How does a chemist rate a party He performs a lit-ness test

Score: 4

With all this negative talk about Africa I thought I would mention something positive about the people there... Their AIDS test results

Score: 4

Why did the military use acid? To neutralize the enemy base.

So how did that AP Chem test go?

Score: 8

What standardized test do mexicans take? The ESE T !!

Score: 5

What's the proper punctuation for a negative pregnancy test? A period.

Score: 4

If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test? A bit more difficult

Score: 23

What did the asian parents say to their son the before a test? Study Ying

I don't know if this joke is original or not.

Score: 5

What does every Tickle Me Elmo receive before leaving the factory? 2 Test Tickles

Score: 32

A pilot passed through a rainbow on his flight test. He passed with flying colors.

Score: 23

DNA Test Dad: What’s ur Result?

Son: I’ve failed in 5 subjects.

Dad: From now Onwards Don’t Call Me “DAD”.

Son: Oh Come On Dad!
Its my School Test Not a DNA Test.. :-D

Score: 4

What does every Tickle Me Elmo get before leaving the Tyco factory? A couple of test-tickles.

Score: 7

After many years as an accountant, I was asked to take a personality test. The results came back negative.

Score: 20

What does the Tickle-Me Elmo get before he leaves the factory? Two test-tickles...

Score: 13

Two blonds are doing 180mph on a highway. A cop pulls them over, gets out, and as he walks towards the blondes's car he drops his pants. One blonde says to the other: "Oh no, not another breathalyzer test."

Score: 6

I just failed my third drug test this month At this rate, I'll never become a pharmacist.

Score: 4

My father has had clocks thrown at him all his life. Though he's in a great deal of pain, it's nice that he's stood the test of time.

Score: 6

What do they give tickle-me-elmo, before putting him on shelves? Test tickles

Score: 4

Just left an interview and they told me there'd be a drug test. I'm not worried, though. I know a lot about drugs, so it should be a pretty easy test.

Score: 11

So I took a practice test on photons today... It didn't matter.

Score: 8

A Polish person went to have their eyes tested. The eye test chart read: N Y X C S F R U Z. The optom asked, ‘can you read any of those letters?’ ‘read it?’ the polish person answered, ‘i know him!’

Score: 4

I was arrested on my way to school today on suspicion of being a terrorist Turns out I bombed the test

Score: 20

I have a test on Islam next period in my World Cultures class... I'm gonna bomb it.

Score: 11

WebMD has integrated Google's Deepmind. On startup it performed a self diagnostic test.

Turns out, it's cancer.

Score: 26

Why was Tickle Me Elmo upset when he left the factory? They only gave him one test tickle.

Score: 7

what did they give tickle me elmo before they let him leave the factory? 2 test-tickles

Score: 4

Whats the last thing you give a tickle me elmo before it leaves the factory? Two test-tickles.

Score: 6