Theater Jokes

Last night a movie theater was robbed of over $1000 dollars. The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, two large sodas and a pack of Skittles.

My local movie theater was robbed of almost $10,000 The thieves got away with three boxes of popcorn, two large sodas, three boxes of candy and a hotdog.

A woman was arrested for bringing her own popcorn, candy, and soda to the movie theater. She was fined and had to pay court fees, but the good news is she still came out a few bucks ahead from if she would have bought the popcorn at the theater.

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic... He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater...

Donald Trump on Twitter: "The Theater has always been a safe place" Abraham Lincoln: "Dude"

In a movie theater crowd watches a movie. During funny moments only one person laughs. Confusingly, he turns around and explains: "Sorry, I haven't seen the trailer."

I'd like to go see Black Panther in the theater... But I'd also like to hear it too.

Last night a movie theater was robbed of $1000 dollars. The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, a combo meal and a pack of skittles.

People are really upset about how the cast of Hamilton treated Mike Pence. I mean, the last time people were this upset about something an actor did to a Republican in a theater, the Civil War had just ended.

My friend who works at the movie theater died yesterday... Funeral services are being held today at 4:25, 5:40, 7:10 and 9:45

My grandpa knew the Titanic was going to sink. He said it loudly countless times... Then he got kicked out of the theater.

My sister is a theater teacher and asked her class, "What would the world be like without theater?" One of her students replied, "Well, Abraham Lincoln would've lived a bit longer."

I Was Going To Write A Theater Piece On Puns.... ...but then I realized it would just be a play on words.

Overheard in line for a movie... Theater employee: "That's an R-rated movie. When's your birthday?"

Teenage boy: "October 12th."

Employee: "What year?"

Boy: "Every year."

A movie theater was robbed of $150 worth of candy The thieves took 2 bags of M n' Ms and a small soda

A thief goes to the theater He stole the show.

My friend who worked at a movie theater died yesterday. Funeral services are being held at 3:20, 5:15, 7:50 and 9:10.

I was invited to a theater to watch a pornographic horror movie... But I was too scared to come.

My local movie theater was robbed of $200 last night. They stole a tub of popcorn, two sodas and a box of Milk Duds.

My grandfather knew before the titanic sank that it was going to happen. He kept yelling and telling peope over and over but no one listened. They then threw him out of the theater, he’s not allowed back.

My great-grandfather knew that Titanic would sink and tried to alert people 3 times The third time, he was expelled from the movie theater.

A woman lost a court case... and was fined for bringing her own popcorn, coke and candy to a movie theater. Overall, she still saved a considerable amount of money.

I went to see Don Quixote at the theater yesterday and there was a short break in the middle of the play. We didn't know it would happen, no one expected the Spanish intermission.

Two blondes froze to death at the drive-in theater. They were there to see "Closed for Winter."

Did you hear about the kleptomaniac who went to the theater the other day? He stole the show!

Why is Bear Grylls a good friend to take to the movie theater? He sneaks his own drinks in.

Why couldn't Bach go to the theater? Because he was baroque

Aspiring thief breaks into theater... Steals spotlight.

Why did the overweight actor fall through the theater floor? It was just a stage he was going through

Did you hear Louis CK's new movie is cancelled? You still might find him coming soon in a theater near you.

My dad kept on warning everyone the titanic was gonna sink, but no one listened to him. Finally, they had enough of him and kicked him out the theater.

A cow recently submitted a two word theater review... "Udderly Mooving."

The Vocabulary Theater is now open! I heard they have a clever word play!

Two blondes are found frozen to death at a drive-in theater. They were watching "Closed for the Winter."

A man walks into a Movie Theater with a bag -"What's that in the bag"
--"An AK-47"
-"No, the thing next to it"
--"A bag of Cheetos"
-"Sorry, you can't take that to the Theatre"

I heard Abe Lincoln was having a fine old time at Ford's Theater... that is until he asked John Wilkes Booth for a headshot.

My grandfather kept on warning everyone that the titanic was gonna sink, but no one listened to him. Finally, they had enough of him and kicked him out the theater.

Joke Of The Day 09/26 lol ::: Joke Of The Day :::
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink.

No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theater. 😅

Me and my family were planning on going to the theater this weekend. We made calculations and with 20 bucks more we are now going to punta cana for the weekend instead.