They Call Me Jokes

They call me The Tripod Her: So why do they call you 'Tripod'?

Me: Let me unzip this and show you...

*opens camera case and takes really steady photo*

I have one alcoholic beverage and they call me an alcoholic But when I have a Fanta, no one calls me fantastic.

Women call me ugly, until they find out how much money I make... Then they call me poor and ugly.

They call me the Mary Poppins of artillery... I deliver...

Super-calibre-ballistic-expedient-explosions

They call me Joe Fat Fingers And I dobn't kniw whu

In Italy, they call me Olive Oil Its because im extra virgin. :(

Women call me ugly until they find out what I make Then they call me ugly and poor

They call me Love Master Because I suck at tennis.

What do they call me in prison? Mitochondria, cause I'm the powerhouse of the cell

Why do they call me the fireman? Cause I turn on the hoes

Crueless joke Women always call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.
Then they call me ugly and poor.

They call me the Weatherman when I'm playing basketball Because I'm never accurate.

Why do they call me an oven? Because when I get turned on things get really hot

Women only call me ugly until they see how much money I make.. Then they call me ugly & poor

Hey girl, you know why they call me "Toilet Paper?" Because I'm so Charmin.

They call me the Pastry Chef Because all your mothers came to get cream pies from me.

They call me the 47th chromosome Because when I turn up to a party, everyone gets retarded.

In Italy they call me olive oil Because I'm extra virgin.

I'm always the life of my family reunions. It's no wonder they call me the laughingstock of the family.

In bed they call me Snickers... ... Because I always satisfy!

They call me El Comal (Tex-Mex Joke)(Spanish) Porque yo caliento todos los gorditas.

They call me the mexican. Why?
Because i cross borders with my jokes.

Why do they call me seven days? Because I'm weak.

Why do they call me the fireman? Because I turn on the hoes.

In group projects, they call me the task manager I **control** the group, **shift** the blame, then proceed to **escape**

Want to know why they call me The Ignorer? No? Okay here’s why.

They call me the joker. Because I'm always taken out of the game before it begins.

They call me a hopeless romantic Because I’ll never find love

Hey Girl, you know why they call me the Mechanical Bull? Because riding me is a very uncomfortable and likely short experience.

They call me Schizo man because they don’t exist

In China they call me the Joker... Because I'm crazy about Bats and will kill your parents.

Do you know why they call me Pico? Cause I'm da guy, yo!

They call me a baby killer You kill a baby or two and suddenly you are a baby killer, like what abot the men n women I killed.

Women always call me ugly until they realize how much money I make Then they call me ugly and broke

Every girl used to call me ugly until they found out how much money I have Now they call me ugly AND poor

Carmen at the bar Guy sits down at the bar next to pretty lady.
"What's your name?" he asks.
"They call me Carmen."
"Carmen, huh? Thats a nice name."
"It suits me well because I love cars and I love men."
"Fancy that."
"What's your name?"
"They call me BeerTits."

They call me "Roundup"..... Cuz I'm a weedkiller.

Wanna know why they call me "The Weatherman"? Cause you can expect a few extra inches tonight!

Women call me ugly until they see my car. Then they call me an ugly taxi driver.

They call me cocktail, and not because of the drinks I make ^^^^but ^^^^because ^^^^of ^^^^my ^^^^body