Hilarious Toast Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Toast Jokes

At the zoo I noticed a slice of toast in one of the enclosures. I asked the keeper, 'How did that toast get into the cage?'

'It was bread in captivity' she replied.

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A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar..... The bartender says " Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here".

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As I spread my girlfriend's legs I thought to myself... This is the strangest thing I've ever had on toast.

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Just back from the zoo. Saw a slice of toast lying in one of the enclosures. It was bread in captivity.

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I went to the zoo and saw a piece of toast in a cage. The sign said "Bread in captivity".

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A toast to wives, girlfriends, and lovers. May they never meet.

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Saw a falcon eating avocado toast. Guess it's a millennial falcon.

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My dad's bread factory burnt down Now his business is toast

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My wife made me dinner the other day. She got offended when I put down my knife and fork and said, "This dinner is disgusting" then my wife said, "Well, boil your own toast next time then"

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Did you hear about the fire at the bakery? No one was hurt but business is toast.

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A man's bread shop burnt down Now his business is toast.

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My Buddies bakery burnt down last night.... His business is toast.

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Last night, a guy tried to stab me with a butter knife He said i was toast.

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Toast at a Wedding "May you live as long as you want and not want for as long as you live." That's an Irish toast.

"Cinnamon, eggs, bread, and maple syrup." That's a French toast.

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Why do Irish people only put 239 beans on their toast? Because one more would be two farty. 😊

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At an Irish wedding... ...the bride stood to make a toast. She asked, "Would all the married men here stand next to the person that has made your life worth living..."

The bartender was nearly crushed to death.

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My bread factory burned down. Now my business is toast.

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Wife: "I regret getting you that Blender for christmas!" Me: *Drinking Toast* "Why?"

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What do cars eat on their toast? Traffic Jam.

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My grandpa just walked into the room with a guy wearing skinny jeans and eating avocado toast. I said, “Who is this guy?”

Grandpa: My hip replacement.

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My friend's bakery burned down last night Now his business is toast

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What's a thesaurus's favorite cereal? Synonym Toast Crunch

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Brexit fallout: my French Toast has just surrendered to my English Muffins. Germany is sending in the Luftwaffle... these events could engulf the entire continental breakfast. and my Irish coffee is drunk. Again.

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How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Nail a piece of toast to the ceiling.

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My Gran fell asleep last night with a cigarette in her hand. That woman was the best thing since sliced bread. Now she’s toast.

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I put one slice of toast in my toaster and got two out... Must have been mitoastis

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When my toaster broke, my wife left me. I guess she was lack toast intolerant

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I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time"... So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

-Stephen Wright

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Saw a bird eating a piece of avocado toast. Guess it was some kind of millennial falcon.

@sarahemclaugh

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So my friend's bakery burned down yesterday... His business is toast.

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A man stands up to give a toast at his best friend's wedding He says "I was told that a wedding toast should only last as long as the groom lasts in bed. So goodnight everyone!"

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Today is Bread day... I would like to propose a toast.

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How come Jeff Bezos spending 13 billion makes the news? I spent 13 billion dollars last week at Whole Foods as well and all I got was some vegan avocado toast.

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Just came from the zoo and I saw some toast in one of the enclosures. It was bread in captivity.

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Spreading stuff on toast? That's my jam.

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A toast; to our wives and our girlfriends... May they never meet.

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The next person who tells me a bread joke.. is toast.

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Peanut butter was driving his toast when suddenly... ..there was a jam

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How do you congratulate a slice of bread on his wedding day? Toast him

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New Toast Jokes

WHAT DOES A MAN WITH 10” HAVE FOR BREAKFAST? This morning I had bacon eggs and toast!

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What did the toast say to the loaf and pretzel when playing hide and seek? Bready or knot, here I crumb.

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What House Judiciary committees members put on their toast? Just subpoena butter and impeach jelly.

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Today I had German Toast for breakfast. It’s like French Toast, but the white bread is more pure.

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What’s a health conscious hippie use to make their toast? Grainful Bread

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Why was the guy mad that he couldn't get any bread? He was lack toast intolerant.

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Why did the french toast go on strike? They were tired of being in the syurpeon union.

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My girlfriend cooked bread for too long. She asked me if it was still good in my opinion... I told her nah, it's toast

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Do you guys wanna know what my favorite thing to spread on toast is? Sorry, but I’m Nutelling you.

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What's the difference between a piece of toast and a Frenchman You can make soliders out of a piece of toast..

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My wife asked, if the Cinnamon Toast Crunch guys are cannibals why do they keep hanging out together... I said, I think it's the same guy eating all the other Crunch guys, he's a cereal killer.

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Why did the man go to the hospital after he was denied his toast? Because he was lac-of-toast intolerant

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Why is harder to make toast in Australia? Because Australian bread is damper.

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Big Brother can see every single facet of our lives, we truly have no privacy and no control over own lives. But can Big Brother see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?

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You can use a cereal box to see the solar eclipse, But can they see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?

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I like my women like I like my toast Hot, and consumable with butter

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A wedding toast They say half of all marriages end in divorce...well, the other half end in death. So I guess I hope you die.

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When I was 7 my Dad left to get some eggs and bread at the store and never came back. I was devastated, I was really looking forward to the French toast.

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My friend's bakery burned down Now his business is toast

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A car collided with a bread bakery and exploded. The bakery survived, but the car was toast.

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How do you start a rave in Africa? Stick toast to the ceiling

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Give a man some jam and he can enjoy a nice piece of toast Teach a man to jam and his Phish cover band will ruin your wedding

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Apparently I forgot to celebrate National Bread Day yesterday. . . So in honor of that I'd like to propose a toast!

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Today was national bread day... And I would love to take a second to make a toast

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What does Michael Jordan like to put on his toast for breakfast? Space Jam

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Did you hear about the butter on toast? I can't tell you, you might spread it!

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What is it that kids love about the taste of synonym toast crunch? Is it because it's nutritious, wholesome, salutary and invigorating?

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Here's to all of the trump supporters out there, a toast. *Raises bleach*

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How do you start a rave in Africa? Glue toast to the ceiling.

(Apologies if repost, I found it funny and wanted to share it with you guys. Have a great day! :D )

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