Toaster Jokes

My wife asked me why I carry a gun around the house. "To fight the Decepticons," I said.

She laughed. I laughed.

The toaster laughed.

I shot the toaster.

Wife asked me to get "bath stuff" for xmas. Hope she likes her toaster.

And the Lord said unto John... "Come forth and you shall receive eternal life."

But John came fifth and won a toaster.

I wouldn't be mad. And the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life". But John came fifth and won a toaster.

The best joke that I have ever heard :) And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life"
But John came fifth, and won a toaster

My wife asked my why i carry a gun in the house. I looked at her and said "Decepticons". She laughed, i laughed, the toaster laughed, i shot the toaster. It was a good time.

I asked my husband for a bath bomb for Christmas He got me a toaster.

And the Lord said to Peter 'Come forth and receive eternal life' Peter came fifth and won a toaster.

And the Lord said unto John.. "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came in fifth and won a toaster.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

My wife asked why I brought a gun home I told her it was in case the decepticons attacked. She said that's the silliest thing she's ever heard and that I didn't need a gun. My wife laughed, I laughed, the toaster laughed. I shot the toaster.

I like my women like I like my toaster, Turned on and in the tub with me.

And the Lord said to John, 'Come forth, and you will receive eternal life' But John came fifth, and won a toaster.

I like my women like I like my toaster Turned on and in the bath tub with me

A microwave and a refrigerator get married. Who gives the speech? The Toaster.

Recently found out my toaster was not waterproof I was shocked.

And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life" But John came fifth, and won a toaster.





*Last post of this was 6 months ago from my quick search, reposting because it is hilarious.*

The Lord said unto John... The Lord said unto John: Come forth and receive eternal life, but John came fifth and won a toaster.

And the Lord said unto John, '.... come forth and ye shall receive eternal life.' But John came fifth and won a toaster.

I have my entire Valentine's day planned with my toaster! Okay, so first, we're going to take a bath.

My friend asked me why I carry my gun inside my house I told him 'Decepticons.'
He laughed, I laughed, the toaster laughed.
So I shot the toaster.
It was a good day.

And the Lord said unto John "Come forth and recieve eternal life" John came fifth and won a toaster

The man who invented toaster settings has died. He'll be cremated at 6.

And the Lord said into John, "Come fourth and you will receive eternal life" But he came fifth and won a toaster.

And the lord said unto John, “come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And the lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.” But John came fifth, and won a toaster.

When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof... I was shocked!

My dad asked why i have a gun in my house Is said because of the decepticons, i laughed, my dad laughed, the toaster laughed, i shot the toaster, it was a good night.

The lord said to Abraham, "Come forth and I'll give you eternal life." Abraham came fifth.

He won a toaster.

When my toaster broke, my wife left me. I guess she was lack toast intolerant

When I heard that my toaster wasn't water resistant... I was shocked!!

You could tell my parents hated me... My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. (RIP Rodney Dangerfield)

I thought I’d surprise my girlfriend and re-wire the toaster. She was shocked.

I got a new toaster for my wife. Best trade I ever made

I could tell my parents hated me My bath toys were a toaster and a radio

John said: "Come forth, and receive eternal salvation." However, John came fifth and got a toaster.

Eternal Life And the Lord said unto John, 'Come forth and receive eternal life,'
But lo, John came fifth, and won a toaster.

Then the Lord told John to come fourth to receive eternal life But he came fifth and received a toaster

Asked my mum what do you want for christmas she replied get me some bath stuff I got her a toaster

She didnt see the funny side