Contents
Contents
I had a breakthrough today and got in touch with my inner self. That's the last time I use cheap toilet paper.
Toilet paper is sort of like the Starship Enterprise it circles Uranus looking for Klingons
I was so poor growing up, we only had a calendar to use as toilet paper… Now those days are behind me…
I had a breakthrough and got in touch with my inner self. That's the last time I buy single ply toilet paper.
I've run out of toilet paper and started to use old newspapers instead. The Times are rough
Why do Buddhists always buy 1 ply toilet paper? Because they like to get in touch with their inner self.
Do you know what the difference is between toilet paper and a shower curtain? Oh. So it's you then.
One ply toilet paper. Get in touch with your inner self.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To reach the bottom.
As told by my 5 y/o cousin.
Do you know how to cook toilet paper? No, but I do know how to brown it on one side.
Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road? It got stuck in a crack
I just got some Sudoku toilet paper Sadly, I can't complete it because I can only fill it with 1s and 2s.
What do the USS Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? They both circle Uranus looking for klingons.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
What does toilet paper and the Avatar have in common? They disappear when the world needs them most.
I just recently decided to get a toilet brush. Long story short, I'm going back to toilet paper.
What's the difference between toilet paper and the shower curtain?
So you're the one....
(only if you answered "i don't know")
My girlfriend left me because of the way I face the toilet paper. I told her I can't help it... That's just how I roll.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack
Why does KFC not have any toilet paper in their rest rooms? Everything is finger licking good.
So I finally got in touch with my inner self today... Never buying cheap toilet paper, again .
What do toilet paper and The Star Trek Enterprise have in common? They both circle Uranus in search of Klingons.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
Courtesy of my 10 year old brother.
I hate it when I run out of toilet paper and I have to make the trip to the grocery store in really small steps.
I actually really like single ply toilet paper... It helps me stay in touch with my inner self.
What does toilet paper and the Star Trek Enterprise have in common? They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons.
What do the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? They both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons.
What does the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? They're both en route to uranus to wipe out the klingons
My wife complains I use too much toilet paper and I should only use three sheets. Now she complains that the bed linen stinks.
What's the difference between toilet paper and a hand towel? So you're the one!
Wiping with only one square of toilet paper is a meditative experience.... You really get in touch with your inner self.
[Corny] Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack
why does KFC not have any toilet paper? cause it’s finger lickin good
I got in touch with my innerself The toilet paper ripped
What is a math teacher's favorite kind of toilet paper? The kind that has multi ply's.
What is 4 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women crazy when they see it? An empty toilet paper roll.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?
It got stuck in a crack.
(my 10 year old claims to have made this one up)
Why did the girl take toilet paper to the party? She's a party pooper
What does the crew to the enterprise and toilet paper have in common? They both circle Uranus fighting Klingons.
I got in touch with my inner self today. Thats the last time I'm buying 1 ply toilet paper at the dollar store.
Sign of the times
The woman broke into my store grabbed a case of toilet paper and ran out.
Did you get a good look at her?
No she was wearing a mask.
What is something extremely dispensible and indispensible at the same time? Toilet paper
Someone told me to prove that i’m an idiot I said i stock toilet paper
Why Doesn't Boris Johnson Just Wipe Out All Remainers? Because he's run out or toilet paper
I bought some cheap single ply toilet paper the other day, and the brand name was Om. When I used it I really felt in touch with my inner self.
My wife is always asking me why I won't through away my old socks. The toilet paper shortage of 2020 should put an end to that though.
Why did the douchebag go to the store? To buy all the toilet paper
You don't need to stock up on toilet paper during cornavirus. Just get a receipt from CVS.
With Toilet Paper about to be the standard curreny of the apocalypse, Toilet Paper Math is about to get a whole lot more complex! 1 Jumbo Roll = 3 Deer Pelts
What did the soda can say to the toilet paper after they were bit by a lycanthrope? We're werewares.
I thought of a new Urban Dictionary word... Commodal Dragon - a person who discards a lot of toilet paper into the commode, flushes the toilet, and overflows said toilet periodically.
Was bored shopping with my girlfriend Went into the changing room and after 5 minutes yelled that there is no toilet paper in here.
What have Star Trek and toilet paper got in common? They both fly around uranus looking for Klingon's
I thought I'd find my inner self with meditation When all I needed was 1 ply toilet paper.
KFC joke.
Why don’t they have toilet paper at KFC?
Because it’s finger liking good!
What’s a roll of toilet paper’s drug of choice? Crack.
So do you know what Star Trek and toilet paper have in common? Circling Uranus looking for Klingons.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in the crack.
Why did the toilet paper stop rolling? It got stuck in a crack.
What does toilet paper and the starship enterprise have in common? They both wander Uranus looking for Klingons
Don't you hate it when there's no toilet paper in your stall . . and you have to ask the person in the next stall to come over and wipe you.
Do you know how to bake toilet paper? Neither do I, only know how to brown one side.
I came in touch with my inner self today. This is the last time i buy single ply toilet paper...
Why couldent the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack
How do you make plywood? Just arouse some toilet paper.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack.
"Do you know how to bake toilet paper?" "No, but I know how to brown it on one side!"
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? He got stuck in a crack.
Why DIDN'T the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
My wife put the toilet paper on the spindle the wrong way. I told her I'm not ready for this kind of roll reversal.
Why is it considered spiritual to buy cheap toilet paper? Because you come to touch with your inner self.
Why wasn't the Toilet Paper able to cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
Here's two Star Trek Jokes
Why did Spock look in the toilet?
He's trying to find the captain's log.
-----
Did you here about the new Star Trek toilet paper?
It flies around Uranus looking for Klingons
How do you bake toilet paper? Well, I don't know either, I just know how to brown it on one side.
Don't let the naysayers get you down, even the inventor of toilet paper had his critics... "this is tearable" they said at first.
I've been getting in touch with my inner self recently... ...but I guess that's just what happens when you get single ply toilet paper.
Why does chipotle stuff so many napkins in your bag? they know you'll run out of toilet paper.
I got in touch with my inner self today at Disney World I can't believe that a multi billion dollar company can't afford 3 ply toilet paper.
In touch with your inner self. If you want to get in touch with your inner self, it's easy. Just buy single ply toilet paper.
You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose... But you can’t pick the toilet paper your company chooses to use.
I kind of like single ply toilet paper... It helps me get in touch with my inner self.
What do the U.S.S Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? They both circle around Uranus looking for Klingons
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack on the way
What's the difference between a hand towel and toilet paper?
"What?"
"You aren't coming to my house"
While playing chess, my black friend said to me that white making the first move was racist. I told him that toilet paper being white compensates for all kinds of racism.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road It got stuck on a crack
I got deeply in touch with my inner self today! I need to buy a better grade of toilet paper.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road..? **Because he got stuck in the crack.**
They should make Star Trek toilet paper...
...so you can help wipe Klingons off Uranus.
(been a while since this one's been around. Just heard it again today from my 5 year old niece)
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