Hilarious Tomato Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Tomato Jokes

"Should I be concerned about eating genetically modified tomatoes?" Tomato: "No"

Score: 116

Score: 79

A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!"

The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"

Score: 77

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way. Although we cannoli do so much, he will forever be a pizza history. His wife? Cheese still not over it. Just goes to show here today, gone tomato. Lets send olive our prayers to the family.

Score: 75

A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner... ...The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!"

The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"

Score: 72

A tomato; a tap and a hat were having a race... the tap was running but the hat was on ahead while the tomato couldn't ketchup.

Score: 62

Why was the tomato blushing? He saw the salad dressing.

Score: 49

A very curious customer asked a local tomato farmer if their tomatoes are genetically modified. "No." Said the farmer
"No." Said the tomato

Score: 44

You say tomato, I say tomato But it doesn't make that much sense when you read it.

Score: 37

A jew and a mexican are talking... The jew says, "lemme ask you something, are theres jews in mexico?"

The mexican replies "oh yes my friend, plenty of jews...apple jews, orange jews, and tomato jews."

Score: 34

Asked my dad what LGBT stands for He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?"
Obviously I had to reply with "Garnish".

[True story. My dad is not an idiot either, totally normal human.]

Score: 34

PIg A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Oh no, I look like a pig!"

The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"

Score: 33

Who won the race? Who won the race? The lettuce, the tomato or the faucet?

The lettuce was a head, the faucet was still running and the tomato was trying to ketchup.

Score: 31

A very curious customer asked a local tomato farmer if their tomatoes are genetically modified.

"Yes." Said a tomato.

Score: 30

Why did the tomato turn red It saw the salad dressing.

Score: 25

A husband and a wife sit at the table, A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!"

The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"

Score: 24

Why was the tomato red? He was blushing because he saw the salad dressing!

Score: 24

Why did the tomato turn red? Because he saw the salad dressing

Score: 21

A man tried to start a fight by throwing dough, shredded cheese, and tomato sauce at me. So I said, “You wanna pizza me?”

Score: 21

Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? The lettuce was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.

Score: 20

Lettuce, tomato, onion, green peppers... Wrong sub.

Score: 19

Why did the Tomato blush? **Because It saw the salad dressing.**

Score: 18

Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing

Score: 18

What do you call an Italian neighborhood full of crime, tomato sauce, prostitution and meatballs? The spaghetto

Score: 16

I ate a salad for dinner! It was mostly tomatoes and croutons.

Really just one, big round crouton covered in tomato sauce.

And cheese.

... I had a pizza.

Score: 16

What's the world fastest fruit? A tomato, nothing else can ketchup :)

Score: 16

[OC] Why did the mayonnaise win the running race? Because the tomato sauce couldn't Ketchup.

Score: 14

How did the Tomato know the Grape was Sad? He Let out a little Wine

Score: 13

Vegetables What did the cucumber say to the cabbage when they got kidnapped by the tomato?

Lettuce go

Score: 11

I hit a tomato and ran. The tomato started running after me but it couldn't ketchup.

Score: 11

Dinner A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!"

The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"

Score: 9

Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the beef stroganoff.

Score: 8

Should I be concerned that this tomato was genetically modified? Tomato: No

Score: 7

A tomato family is walking down the road... when baby tomato falls behind. Daddy tomato goes back, smacks him on the head and says, "Ketchup!"

Score: 7

A husband and a wife were having dinner… … the wife dropped some tomato sauce on her top and said 'ugh, I look like a pig'.

The husband responds 'AND you have tomato sauce on your top!'

Score: 6

I learned what LGBT stands for! Lettuce Guacamole Bacon Tomato

Score: 5

What did the Tomato say to his family crossing the road Catch-up

Score: 5

Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting tomato in a fruit salad.

Score: 5

When do you see a sandwich cook? When it's bakin' lettuce and tomato.

Score: 5

Why does the tomato blushing? Why does the tomato blushing?
Because it saw the salad dressing :D

Score: 4

New Tomato Jokes

I made a Bacon, Lettuce & Tomato sandwich for breakfast. I left off the lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise and bread.

Score: 0

What do mods like on their sandwiches? Lettuce guacamole bacon and tomato

Score: 3

My great-uncle was killed after being hit by a tomato truck; In Heinz-sight he never saw it coming...

Score: 1

A main goes to the supermarket He gets one bread, one milk, one cucumber and on tomato, the cashier says: "you're single right?" the man responds: "yeah, how did you know? " the cashier: "you're ugly"

Score: 2

What Do Elephant And Tomato Have In Common What elephant and tomato have in common is that they're both red, except the elephant.

Score: 1

You know what my favorite kinds of jews are? Orange jews, apple jews, tomato jews...

Score: 3

I like my women like I like my soup. Tomato.

Score: 3

I always thought LGBT means Lettuce Ginger Bacon and Tomato... Until my smart friend told me that G stands for Guacamole

Score: 4

So there’s 3 tomato’s .. ... Papa Tomato, Momma Tomato and Baby Tomato walking along the street. Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato starts getting really angry. So, he turns around and squishes Baby Tomato and says, 'Ketchup.'

Score: 3

Why couldn't the tomato cross the road? Because he's a vegetable.

Score: 1

A mommy, daddy, and baby tomato A family of tomatoes are having a stroll through the park. The baby tomato starts to lag behind however, so the daddy tomato turns and yells.

"You're adopted"

Score: 1

I have a sandwich that can cook. It's bakin' lettuce and tomato.

Score: 2

When does a sandwich cook? When it's bakin' lettuce and tomato.

Score: 3

Three tomatoes are walking down the street. Mama tomato, Papa tomato and Baby tomato.
Baby tomato starts lagging behind and Papa tomato gets really angry. He walks back to Baby tomato, squishes him and says:
"Ketchup!"

Score: 3

A Daddy tomato and a Baby tomato were walking down the street... ...when all of a sudden, Baby tomato started to fall behind, so Daddy tomato turned to Baby tomato and said "Ketchup!"

(I'm really sorry)

Score: 3

What did the slice of bacon say to the tomato? Lettuce be together now!

Score: 3

What did the fruit say to the tomato? Quit talking to yourself.

Score: 3

If a tomato's a tomato and a potato's a potato, what's a pea? A relief.

Score: 1

How do you clone a tomato? Copy and paste

Score: 1

I just found out what the LGBTQ stands for Lettuce, Garlic, Bacon, Tomato, Quesadilla

Score: 2

Knowledge and Wisdom Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Score: 4

Heard about the famous italian chef that died? He pastaway, here today gone tomato,we cannoli do so much. He will be pizza history!

Score: 2

Uh, hi. Yeah, I'll have a six-inch Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki on Honey Oat, please. No, thanks, no double meat or cheese. Yeah, lettuce, tomato, cucumber, banana peppers, and..." *checks phone* Oh, shoot. Wrong sub.

Score: 2

The Tomato Pastor began his sermon to the Salad Congregation "Lettuce pray"

Score: 3

I asked my tomato plant why it needed so much support He said cause I'm a growing boy!

Score: 1

You know how it goes, I say tomato You say what are you doing in my house?

Score: 2